Reviews for Team Final Smash!
Mike Prower the Fox chapter 6 . 10/20/2010
Some of the Final Smashes were epic, except for the Wario/Pit combo. The image that popped into my head was hilarious! Keep it up!
Cimar of Turalis WildeHopps chapter 5 . 1/27/2010
Again, you have a great grasp of imagery and how to write a good fight scene. You balance the dialogue and action very well. It creates a great flow for the story. I loved the image of biker cherubs, just seems so hilarious for some reason. Good job.
Cimar of Turalis WildeHopps chapter 1 . 1/27/2010
That was the coolest imagery of a final smash I have ever read. I loved it. Hope you keep it up.

~Cimar
RedDragonforce 1 chapter 6 . 7/13/2009
Interesting man.

RDF1 here.

LOVED the Team Final Smashes, particularly the DKs, Bowsers and Ganondorf's, and the Negative Zone grenades especially.

LOLz FTW!

How 'bout a Three-on-One match? That would be interesting, especially since all 35 of the 'Brawlers' teamed up against Tabuu in the final battle of Subspace Emissary (despite only one or two at a time with 6 as a limit).

I, personally, would like to see any brawler stand up to Link, Zelda/Sheik, and Ganondorf.

Or make it a Three-on-Three Pokemon Battle where Pokemon Trainer faces off against Pikachu, Jigglypuff, and (my fav. Pokemon on Brawl) Lucario.

Or even a Dream Land 'dream' team with Kirby, King DeDeDe, and (my fav. brawler) Meta Knight.

(I know that was lame) Just something to keep things interesting.

Also, why not bend some rules to have more than four players in a fight at a time, ya know, so it won't seem just two-on-twoish.

Well, I hope that can be of help. Catch you next chapter.

Later,

RDF1
dxman chapter 6 . 2/28/2009
PLEASE UPDATE!
White Keyblade Oathkeeper chapter 2 . 10/23/2008
how about this

Negative Finale

MarioxLuigi

Luigi makes his Negative Zone like normal, but this time it becomes a prison, than Mario pounds it sending bursts of fire at their foes

i might think up more for you (if you need one for a certen team just pm me i'd love to help a fellow author)
Mr. Inferno chapter 5 . 9/12/2008
great chap,I think you should use toon link and meta knight
Lauren chapter 5 . 8/31/2008
Hey there Baby Bear. You did such a good job on this story. I want you to know that. You are very talented and you should keep writing for sure. I know you may not feel very motivated right now, but you really have something good going here. Love you, and I'll talk to you soon.
The Unkown One chapter 6 . 8/31/2008
This is an amazingly cool story Mario and Peach and Luigi are my

favorites and all the battles were perfact and there team final smashes keep going it's awasome.
Bloom Momomiya chapter 6 . 8/30/2008
ZOMG. CONTINUE. NOW. XD

no seriously. it's awesome. SO CONTINUE!
dynamite dude chapter 6 . 8/29/2008
That's happened to me more than chapter.
Razzkat chapter 6 . 8/29/2008
Don't worry about doing punctuation, because you are usually spot on. Just a few examples...

["Gyah-ah-ah" Dedede said in surprise.] should have a comma after Gyah-ah-ah (which is funny), so it's ["Gyah-ah-ah," Dedede said in surprise.]

["Ow, that stupid arrow." the self-proclaimed King of Dreamland said.] should be ["Ow, that stupid arrow," the self-proclaimed King of Dreamland said.]

["Sorry Zelda." Red said.] should be ["Sorry Zelda," Red said.], etc. Also, I think Pikmin and Gordos are usually capitalized, but I could be wrong. They really are just small grammatical things, although it's nice to have.

Anyway, great chapter! Zelda's and Pokemon Trainer's Elemental Arrow was neat, and the Pikmin Army was awesome. And the ending was hilarious. I hate it when that happens, too! It seems to happen in Brawl a lot...well, poor Deeds. The Bob-ombs call for an abrupt ending, I think. Great chapter, and I look forward to the next one.
Darkblur chapter 6 . 8/29/2008
Nice chapter, excellent ideas with the team final smashes. When I saw Zelda and Red teamed up, I thought you were going to do what you did. Olimar and Dedede's was pretty good too, I can imagine the other fighters getting buried in Pikmin, Waddle-Doos/Dees, and Gordos all working together.

Oh, and I have a new idea for a team final smash! Alright, ROB and Wolf. What's the move? Well...normally Wolf only has enough power to call down his Landmaster right? With ROB acting as a booster, he calls in his buddies, Leon and Panther (there might be others I don't know) to fly by in their Wolfens and bombard the stage with laser blasts.

But that's not it...Wolf still summons down his Landmaster, and ROB hops on top of it. This were the real attack happens. ROB kinda breaks the Landmaster apart, and forms it into a larger robot body. The two tank tread portions become the arms, the hovering jets are always firing to keep it afloat, the center body becomes the body/head, and the laser cannon attaches to the left arm.

Then the other fighters will have to deal with Wolfens flying by and attacking and a giant robot that can use its fists and the laser cannon.

Sure ROB has already fought, alongside Falco, but they never got to trigger their Team Final Smash. This gives the little guy another chance.

'Till next time!

~darkblur
Pojoking1987 chapter 6 . 8/29/2008
Hey, Great chapter Buddy. I'm glad you got back into it!

I would actually be fine if you just focused on the in-game portions of the story and ditched the mansion stuff. You right the action so well.

Also, great idea with the sudden death. Lol
Bustman chapter 6 . 8/29/2008
Alright! That has happened to me too; dying before my opponent becomes a star in the background. I'm glad that you got to use both final smashes, because they were both very creative, but you had the two ones who did it first win for a change. Really could chapter, try to update soon!
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