Reviews for Turn my world
Guest chapter 1 . 4/21/2015
Nice, but yes, a few errors. If you go through again, use a spell check, since cheek and check are different. Plus a few others. Otherwise it was good. :3
Kyndsie chapter 1 . 9/1/2012
Fabulous! The way you count down... measuring the time really sets and keeps the tone of this story.
reader1writer1 chapter 1 . 8/21/2010
Lovely. :)
dancer in the rain chapter 1 . 3/3/2009
beutifull romantic story i loved very much
AnonymousBadger chapter 1 . 2/5/2009
Very sad, but the ending made up for it in spades. I really enjoyed your use of numbers (though I didn't try to keep count, I'm terrible with numbers ) and how you changed Within You.

Well, you asked for any help with errors, and I only found a few...

First, you used the word "Check" instead of "Cheek" when Jareth was touching Sarah.

Secondly, the actual lyrics to Within You are:

You starve and near exhaust me, and two 'You've' s for You've run so long, You've run so far,

Again, a very enjoyable read, and original too!
InzanityRulz chapter 1 . 12/10/2008
Great fic! I loved the end where Sarah wondered how old people get in the Underground.
Kcc1 chapter 1 . 9/7/2008
That was cool! It was diffrent i liked it!
Lockhart-in-the-Closet chapter 1 . 8/11/2008

This was sad AND cute. :D

Good combination.
notwritten chapter 1 . 7/24/2008
This chapter is good, and interesting. Keep smiling. :-)
LadyVampyreMiya chapter 1 . 7/24/2008
Oh, I love it! :D

It's soo sweet and moving! Aw!

I love the whole 'ten years since...' paragraph and how it's somewhat repeated at the end - 'tis a clever technique.


ShadowyLined chapter 1 . 7/23/2008
What a lovely one-shot! Wow, I really enjoyed it! This:

“How you’ve turned my world my goblin king

My heart keeps yearning for you

Everything I’ve done won’t stop a thing

The stars keep pointing to you

Been gone so long

Been gone so far

My heart has been too cruel

Just you have been so cruel

Though I do believe in you

Yes I do

I will live without the sunlight

I will love within your heartbeat

I can’t live without you”

killed me! Sometimes, using a song from a movie and changing the lyrics is just so... CHEEZY. But this... GUH! I'm SO gushing right now. Love it. Urgh!

Emilie-Blue chapter 1 . 7/23/2008
Ah, so good, well done *clap* i like it. very well writing, good job ;)
T.Dahila chapter 1 . 7/23/2008
Oh, this was quite beautiful; your writing style is great. (Le Sigh) Within You is my favorite song from Labyrinth. Good Job.