|Reviews for Turn my world|
| Guest chapter 1 . 4/21/2015
Nice, but yes, a few errors. If you go through again, use a spell check, since cheek and check are different. Plus a few others. Otherwise it was good. :3
| Kyndsie chapter 1 . 9/1/2012
Fabulous! The way you count down... measuring the time really sets and keeps the tone of this story.
| reader1writer1 chapter 1 . 8/21/2010
| dancer in the rain chapter 1 . 3/3/2009
beutifull romantic story i loved very much
| AnonymousBadger chapter 1 . 2/5/2009
Very sad, but the ending made up for it in spades. I really enjoyed your use of numbers (though I didn't try to keep count, I'm terrible with numbers ) and how you changed Within You.
Well, you asked for any help with errors, and I only found a few...
First, you used the word "Check" instead of "Cheek" when Jareth was touching Sarah.
Secondly, the actual lyrics to Within You are:
You starve and near exhaust me, and two 'You've' s for You've run so long, You've run so far,
Again, a very enjoyable read, and original too!
| InzanityRulz chapter 1 . 12/10/2008
Great fic! I loved the end where Sarah wondered how old people get in the Underground.
| Kcc1 chapter 1 . 9/7/2008
That was cool! It was diffrent i liked it!
| Lockhart-in-the-Closet chapter 1 . 8/11/2008
This was sad AND cute. :D
| notwritten chapter 1 . 7/24/2008
This chapter is good, and interesting. Keep smiling. :-)
| LadyVampyreMiya chapter 1 . 7/24/2008
Oh, I love it! :D
It's soo sweet and moving! Aw!
I love the whole 'ten years since...' paragraph and how it's somewhat repeated at the end - 'tis a clever technique.
| ShadowyLined chapter 1 . 7/23/2008
What a lovely one-shot! Wow, I really enjoyed it! This:
“How you’ve turned my world my goblin king
My heart keeps yearning for you
Everything I’ve done won’t stop a thing
The stars keep pointing to you
Been gone so long
Been gone so far
My heart has been too cruel
Just you have been so cruel
Though I do believe in you
Yes I do
I will live without the sunlight
I will love within your heartbeat
I can’t live without you”
killed me! Sometimes, using a song from a movie and changing the lyrics is just so... CHEEZY. But this... GUH! I'm SO gushing right now. Love it. Urgh!
| Emilie-Blue chapter 1 . 7/23/2008
Ah, so good, well done *clap* i like it. very well writing, good job ;)
| T.Dahila chapter 1 . 7/23/2008
Oh, this was quite beautiful; your writing style is great. (Le Sigh) Within You is my favorite song from Labyrinth. Good Job.