|Reviews for Wanderings of Durmstrang|
| Kimkrys chapter 3 . 1/13/2011
CAN'T WAIT FOR MORE!
| Shaya chapter 2 . 3/18/2010
Please write more, I love the idea about a girl in an all-boys school.
| Suki-Itami chapter 1 . 7/6/2009
The heck? You can't do that! Update soon, or I will go to your house and MAKE you update!
| Tamburlaine chapter 1 . 7/24/2008
Seeing as you're writing a story about Durmstrang, one of the less written about wizarding schools, I'm going to be a tad lenient with this critique.
First off – the girl’s name, Selene Borisalv; Selene is a name that many suethors use for their creations, and in case you were unaware, a Mary Sue is a perfect original creation that steals the limelight of the story from the real main characters. But the intriguing part about the name is that it’s Greek. Now, why would a man from the Ukraine, (which is where the name Borislav is from, not sure where you got Borisalv) give a Greek name to his daughter?
But then again, ’s name is David, a name that’s Hebrew in origin, and his wife Eve’s name is English.
…So what nationality are these people?
For one, Durmstrang is a school for boys, and only boys. Not for boys and girls. Besides, any parent in their right mind would not send their daughter to a school for boys.
Sentences, such as this one, do not make much sense: David sat back down and took a look at the papers that the wizard had left. 'A which, huh? Was Jayna One as well? I know she's a tough little bugger, but will she survive a school like Durmstrang, full of powerful older boys who could do anything they wanted to? SIGH A very unusual day indeed.'
Yeah, I want to know too, David. Which is she?
In other sentences, not just this one, you capitalize words that are not meant to be capitalized, and in story author’s notes, such as this one :( Think Ron's Tiny Owl 'Pig' But All Black Save A White Ring Around It's Eyes And Middle) make me want to cringe.
Also, I see no reason why your sue needs to go to Durmstrang, if not to sleep with every guy who attends the school – then what? It’s an academy that freely teaches the Dark Arts – people aren’t going to be transferring in and out willy-nilly, but since this is your fanfiction, you’re clearly allowed to break the rules of canon, now aren’t you?
Well, here’s a news flash for you –
You’re not exempt from the rules of canon.
So take care, find yourself a beta, and perhaps do a bit of research into the etymology of names, so when you write them, you don’t come off looking like an idiot.
| Precocious Prat chapter 1 . 7/24/2008
i really like this story. I think that Selene will have to touphen (I've forgotten how to spell!) up some to survive Durmstrang but very promising. Good writing.