I just found this story and while it might be abandoned after 2 years with no updates, I just have to tell you three things:
1) I had no clue that Crack!Smut was even a genre until I read this.
2) Chapter 17 might be on of my favorite chapters of any fanfiction I've ever read.
3) The absolute brutality that Hermione showed at the end of chapter 26 (where she told Malfoy to act like Krum by pretending he was actually good at Quidditch) had me almost feeling sorry for him.

If you ever do manage to update, I have the story followed now. Cheers!

I love Goyle in this story ! Gremione !

Found this highly misogynistic.

Sorry to tell you but this has to be single worst long Draco/Hermione fic I have like ever read. If not worst long Harry Potter story full stop.
Seriouslay I hardly recognise any of these characters without names attached; the set scenes com across as often bizarre; repeat misspellings - MacConagall, Draci, Hogwsrts, magik, Putter at least twice!
Don't think I can move forward with this reading. Do you need a good beta or brit picker?
Really disappointed aa too pooe quality of this work overall.

I love this story, it's hilarious! This is my 4th or 5th re-read and it has me snorting my laughter every time, particularly the breakfast scene at the Weasley's. So good!

I do hope you are doing well. I was a writer myself on here a long time ago, and it is so easy to have life get in the way. Whenever or if ever you are ready to come back and add new chapters, I would love to read them!

Why have 60 fucking chapter and still them not having sex might have then some her with everyone cause I literally read this book and then nothing

Seriously loving this story. There were times where it had me rolling around on the floor laughing, no joke. I know it can be difficult to hear over and over again to update (as a writer myself) but I do hope you continue this story as it is just fantastic. Sending good health and happiness vibes your way!

update?

I love how this story keeps getting more surprising and ridiculous, without losing the overarching plot. Loved how Millicent shows up and punches Draco in the face. That was great :)

You know thinking on it? I just realized something. You know what would be the cherry on top of the sundae for Goyle to flip the bird on every who talked bs and called him ugly etc? Not him and Millie hooking up. But hooking him up with daphne Greengrass. In book canon she considered one of the prettiest girls? It would be ultimate revenge that they end up together .

I highly doubt this is the last we'll see of Goyle, but I do believe that it is high time that Hermione lets him go if she plans on pursuing anything with Malfoy. All these triangles and jealousy are exhausting, they've got to move on at some point. Maybe in another life, her and Goyle would have worked out. I do wonder if he'll actually wait for her or find someone else in the mean time. Malfoy does love her even if he doesn't have the balls to admit it out loud. Hermione doesn't realize how much Malfoy loves her but I'm sure she'll find out soon enough. They might even end up staying married after all of this.

I know at the end the Cupid’s courage was talking . That or a concussion .

Whew, the draaaammmmmmmmmmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! The love triangle continues, but now it might be a square? Hermione tells Goyle that she's choosing Malfoy but gets jealous when Millicent serenades him? Girl, make up your mind! You can't have it both ways even though she clearly enjoys having two guys fighting for her affections.

Even with Hermione essentially turning Goyle down, I highly doubt Goyle is giving up that easily either, but Malfoy certainly won't make it easy for him. I honestly question Goyle's intentions and I wonder just how much of the conversation Hermione heard between him and Malfoy before she decided to step in. Since he knows that Hermione is jealous, he'll find some way to use this to his advantage. This romance is already a hot mess and is about to get messier.

I was incredibly excited to see this story updated again and with several new chapters! I missed the witty dialogue, not to mention Smooth-Moves Goyle. (I know it's a Dramione fic, but I'm rooting for Goyle.) I hope your muse continues to inspire you and look forward to the next chapter!

This is a suck fest just saying