|Reviews for A Line in the Sand|
| Gippalious chapter 1 . 11/3/2015
Great story, beautifully written. Though Gippal is the villain here, and that makes me sad.
The first 3 chapters is a little slow but I think it is necessary for the story to develop. The last 3 chapters made my heart ache so bad. The ending is good too, it's angst but I wouldn't ask for a different ending.
| recey2010 chapter 12 . 4/19/2015
Dnt know is completed but to start I really liked the concept but have a few issues with execution
It was unclear that you moved around in the timeline but that did add dynamic to the story
Secondly I think I wouldve like a little more dialogue or just less verbage I know its alot of inner monologing but to me the best part was rikku speaking her feelings
But overall great job !
| Mandy chapter 12 . 2/16/2015
What a nice ending! Thank you for sharing this story with us. I love how Rikku ended her relationship with Gippal. It was bittersweet.
| hannahbananaonthesavanna chapter 12 . 2/14/2015
Yay! Hurray for Rikku sticking up for herself! This turned out so well! Thank you so much! I hope there will be an epilogue maybe?
| hannahbananaonthesavanna chapter 11 . 1/12/2015
Nooooo! In this particular story Rikku CANNOT end up with Gippal...in my opinion at least. He just rationalizes a bunch of excuses to himself to justify what he's done. Baralai is more caring and gentle toward her. I hope she ends up with Baralai. Please update soon :)
| Mandy chapter 11 . 1/12/2015
If she can forgive him and if he can be sure he won't make the same mistake again, they could be together but would she truly be happy with a man who cheated on her with a close friend? That kind of betrayal is hard to forget and a beautiful diamond ring won't ever fix that.
What she was developing with Baralai was sweet and has the potential to become something great. Two friends who comforted each other during a time of sadness lead to mutual understanding and the start of something deep. Personally, I would choose this over the previous relationship in a heartbeat.
| Kara chapter 10 . 11/2/2014
I really enjoy this story so far and hope that you'll update it soon!
| hannahbananaonthesavanna chapter 10 . 10/14/2014
I'm rooting for Rikku and Baralai. They deserve to be together. You are a really great writer and I look forward to your next update.
| Mandy chapter 10 . 9/9/2014
I don't find the story dull at all and it doesn't feel rushed. I am enjoying what you're sharing to us.
Gippal doesn't like that he has seen Baralai and Rikku together. That is good. He now has a little taste of how they felt when they learned that their significant others have cheated on them. I can't wait to see how it all pans out!
| Guest chapter 9 . 9/1/2014
This was a pleasantly surprising update. I feel like your story is really just beginning. I liked the flashbacks with their subtle tones, but now at the present again it feels like progress. I am both excited and worried about what more there is to come. I am a true fan of Rikku and Gippal as a couple so it's sad to see their relationship become what it is now, but you write the situation with a careful sincerity that makes it all very real. I enjoy the friendship that exists between Rikku and Baralai beyond the sexual intimacy, but I still feel like you haven't really gone in depth with their relationship. Their bond needs to be fleshed out a little more to make it believable. I would like to read a chapter in Paine or Gippal's point of view, but regardless I will be looking forward to your update.
| Mandy I Am chapter 9 . 8/28/2014
Wow! I love how you write Baralai and Rikku together. It feels real. I really look forward to the next chapter.
| Maistyria chapter 8 . 8/20/2012
I didn't understand at the start, but as I read through the chapters everything started to come together. I feel so sad for all of them. I hope that you will continue and be able to update soon. It is a compelling story. Cheers!
| trrblerappergrl chapter 8 . 6/29/2011
There's an unusual realness to your characters that I've come to appreciate through this fic. I think you've mastered their overall personalities, reactions, and the core of who they are. MANY KUDOS. I really appreciated the comparisons between Gippal and Baralai in this chapter, particularly in terms of how each delivers affection and I think in many respects you really personified each.
Further, I like that these were sparks you wove throughout and how in a flashback format (much earlier in the fic) you alluded to Baralai's regret for doing what he did when he did, implying that the regret came from timing and nothing else. Regardless, I look forward to reading more!
| recey2010 chapter 8 . 6/28/2011
Beautifully written chapter I absolutely adored this ! it completely brilliant, the best love scene btw rikku and baralai ever and its too damn gorgeous to be called a lemon EXCELLENT! and i trully hope you update ASAP !
| recey2010 chapter 7 . 6/15/2011
ooooh talk about DRAMA I had a sneakin suspicion but the way u set it up made it so suspenseful and climactic! PLEASE iM BEGGIN UPDATE ASAP