|Reviews for New Horizons|
| misspooky chapter 16 . 12/20/2012
This was a really great version of the honeymoon scene, Its one of my favourites because I find it so in tune with how I imagine the real Bella and Edward did it.
The days following and the later sex scenes are also really well written!
However I found the plane chapter very offkey and would have preferred it werent there as it would make no scense in real life;)
I can see its veen years since u last updated.
I hope u will finish it someday.
My advice would be to either keep it in line of story and not stray too far off the trail like I feel u did in the very end. (I dont know what you have in mind ofc!)
It started to feel like 2 different stories near the later chapters thats my point.
All in all a VERY great honeymoon story, one that I can live myself into emotionally they way you describe the scenes. The sex scenes are among my top favourites!
Ty for posting it for us to read!:)
-PS dont mind the comment from Alexzangel too much. Althought there IS a few errors where a beta would have done wonders for the spelling, it is NOT as bad as he makes it sound!
He sounds to me like the type of person who would prefer a picture book, and cant read between the lines very well.
| jclarissa chapter 16 . 2/13/2009
I LOVE THIS STORY IT IS ASOME I READ IT LIKE 5 TIMES
| Carlisle060 chapter 16 . 2/11/2009
whi is coming for bella?
UPDATE ASAP! :)
| alynawt chapter 16 . 2/10/2009
wow this was short- i wonder whats going to happen.
this will probably speed up the changing of bella.
| JenRar chapter 16 . 2/10/2009
Dun dun dun! Scary ending! Can't wait to read more! :)
| geneva8403 chapter 15 . 12/17/2008
I love your story. Please update soon! :) Can't wait to find out what happends next.
| VampireCat3 chapter 15 . 12/16/2008
Loved it! Update soon!
| waitin4myEdward chapter 15 . 12/16/2008
oh i liked this one.
and i think that youre right about the lemons...there needs to be a plot too.
is jacob going to be waiting at the cullen's house too? that would be interesting...
| akaMrsEdwardCullen chapter 15 . 12/15/2008
great chapter...but actually bella's apparently not so smart considering she got her math wrong. If the plane leaves at 3pm and she has to be there two hours before, and they still have 5 hours before they have to arrive at the airport that means that it was actually 8am and not 6am.
3-2 1 pm
1pm - 5 hours 8 am.
But then again, I already knew bella was pretty stupid anyway...hehehehe...
| Ansleyrocks chapter 15 . 12/15/2008
Great part thanks for updating I can't wait to see what will happen next!
| VampireCat3 chapter 14 . 12/1/2008
Loved it! Update soon!
| rosalindleconte chapter 14 . 12/1/2008
How delightful it is to read mature, sensual and exquisite writing...it is such a guilty pleasure.
I am hooked like a teenage prom queen dreaming of being her boyfriend's porn star.
I can't wait for the next installment, so I think I will go back and reread until it's time to meet the schoolbus!
| alexzangel chapter 1 . 11/30/2008
What can I say really, besides the fact that its horrible.
Really I believe that the writing is there, but honestly the paragraphs are huge chunks.
You've already done better than fifty percent of people out there, but still it doesn't make me want to read.
Writing (&) instead of writing out (and) is just pure laziness. I did it in the beginning, and soon you'll figure out that it's better just not to write any slang or in text.
Capitalization. It bothers me that you don't do it for the title of your story (it turns people off in the beginning, at least fake it on the "cover".
And lastly: Adding commas everywhere does not a sentence make. It actually creates a run on sentence and in the end makes no sense.
Ex: I felt the blood rising into my cheeks, coloring them, Edward moved to stand behind me, sliding his arms around my waist, his hands resting on my belly.
I'm supposing there's at least three sentences in there. And besides that its choppy.
I seriously recommend that you find yourself a beta. I'm not saying that I'm anywhere near a perfect writer, because everyone makes mistakes. I'm just saying when it makes no sense, is packed hella tight, and words are missing.
I don't think you'd sit at your computer filling in the blanks.
You'd just move on, like I'm doing right now.
I really do hope that you get better at writing, and understand that I only do this hoping that you become better at it.
| alynawt chapter 14 . 11/30/2008
I LOVED IT! gah it was perfect :D! and i love how bella acknowledges how she would never ask! it was a perfect buildup! hehehe this was deff worth the wait! incroyable!
| waitin4myEdward chapter 14 . 11/30/2008
o my GOD! that was ORGASMIC!
who knew a peach could be so amazing.
wow! i had to take a breather in the middle...hahaha
please keep the fantastic chapters coming!