You do know the Unforgivables are unforgivable because you can't sheild them right? I mean you can throw off the Imperious curse and possible torture curse but you can't shield against them. Otherwie more than just Harry would have survived against Voldy.

You need to change Mommy to Mummy. In Harry Potter, since they are British born and raised they don't have an American accent and therefore do not call their parents Mom or Mommy but Mum and Mummy.

The story had a great plot, but as the story went on it became more and more rushed, with less detail, the last chapter was good but the time skip kinda messed with me a little as the chapters didn't flow cleanly. Good story though, none of this was flame just things that i noticed.

I LOVE YOUR STORY! ON OF MY FAVORITES!

CUTE!

the spiri thing tossed me for a loop but i liked the story over all.

Awesome story.

Speechless and on the verge of crying

very good and very funny u will make a great author just keep practising!

beautiful story :)

xo,

Sheridan.

the end was so sad! i have tears rolling down my face!

okay that was good

Brits do not call their mothers MOM! Urgh! Irritating pet hate hate of all american fanfiction writers writing for british stories! What's so hard about MUM?

Other than that a really interesting good story. I liked it, and I'm hard to please.

Oh, yeah, brits don't call sweets candy either.

This story has some great plot ideas. I think you did well with Harry & Hermione's relationship as well. Trying to give you constructive criticism, 2 ares of the story were really weak to me; your OC's really didn't add to the story and actually took away from it. It seemed like two totally different stories going on, I'm not a fan of OC's generally, but if you use them, should merge them better into the plotline & with the other characters. Also, the ending was really abrupt, and again like it didn't necessarily go to the story. I can really see you have a good imagination though, keep writing & honing your skills!

I read to this story from the beginning and it had an interesting start - but the story was not developed enough. Unfortunately, having explanations in the author's notes were not enough to make the story whole. The final chapter - that was a bit of a disappointment because it focused more on Anya and Brittany and this is supposed to be a Harry Potter story. Yeah, you could tell it was a rushed job and that you wanted to just end it. It's a shame because this story had such promise, until you introduced new characters whose backgrounds were never fully explained until the end. Hope your other writing endeavors are more fruitful.

Its sad this story had to end but I plot and its nice everything turned out ok.