|Reviews for Tempo Trigger|
| Aiedail chapter 61 . 3/28/2012
"I'll try not to keep you waiting for an entire year again, at least."
So 3.5 years 1 year? Seriously, what happened - again? I'm royally pissed that you've taken another hiatus on this one. But enough of that, on to the review.
If I could describe your writing in one word, it would be "vivid." One sign of a good author is that you see everything happening in your mind almost more than you consciously read the words on the page, and that definitely happens when I read your stuff.
The times Schala gets to surprise someone with the Nooze, like giving Kazin back his sword, or playing dead at the end of the motorcycle chase, never fail to crack me up. She and many other characters feel real, with believable emotions and fantastic development.
However, it sometimes seems like this story has turned into a sprawling mess; I often feel lost in the enormity of it all. I mean, seriously, you're expanding the scope to the whole universe? And crossing it over with who knows how many other Square games and animes? And then you add in alternate timelines, because that STILL wasn't enough? There are also at least four COMPLETELY different...well, "magic systems", I guess (soultech, chi, 'synth, and weaving the natural magical flows). My mind is constantly struggling to maintain all the relevant information, and that's with me reading this all at once! Try to keep it a bit more focused, okay? Headaches are not the reason I read. X_X
Incidentally, have you read The Wheel of Time? It has the feeling of similarly massive scope (even though it actually deals with less than even one whole planet), and it is literally quite massive (as in, all the books together are REALLY heavy, lol), but its author seems to have more skill than you in keeping the plot threads tidily close together.
There are several occasions where I thought "okay, I have absolutely ZERO idea what they're talking about." Example: Crono's "secret" when talking to Kash. That whole story arc is one giant WTF for me. Most of these haven't been explained since, although that might be because I haven't read Planeswalkers. I'll have to check that out now.
And I don't have a CLUE who the real good and bad guys are. Or maybe you're going for ambiguity on that, like in Mononoke? I could certainly respect that.
What's up with Greven? Was Levasos totally bluffing to Ertai, having gained his knowledge another way, or is the never-ending stream of hints pointing to Tempo nothing but red herrings? Or is neither a deception?
This might have been explained a while back, but I don't remember: how much do heroes of the ages remember their past lives while alive? Is there usually no recollection, or does it trickle back as they grow up? Does it vary wildly depending on the hero, and/or the particular lifetime in question? Vigo, Arthur, and Gren seemed to remember everything, but I get the feeling that that was an exceedingly special case.
Speaking of heroes, who else were all of the characters of this story? Lion seems like the best candidate for Goku, but you've already said that Janus was Vegeta, so that doesn't make much sense. And I'm completely lost on everybody else except Schala and Greven.
When is Earth itself going to come in to the story in earnest? And speaking of Earth, how can planets themselves have energy and create Weapons?
Will Schala ever unlock the power she did in the AU Mount Woe sequel, able to see ALL magic flowing through an area? Oh, and about that, the particle/wave explanation made about as much sense as the average Star Trek technobabble, i.e. it's complete bullshit and not at all how it works. Light (and, I'm assuming, magic in this story) is not "actually" a stream of particles that "looks like" a wave. Both ways of thinking of it are equally valid. And I don't see how either that revelation or the version you gave would help Schala get more power out of it. It makes as much sense as a different paint job giving a car superior handling; the change has jack squat to do with the intended effect.
And hot damn, is Garin a direct avatar of Chaos or something? No wait, wasn't there a hint somewhere that he's against the Lavoids? Hell, I can't remember. See, the story is too massive! But definitely NOT too long! Keep writing, PLEASE! :D
| Kasienda chapter 61 . 6/28/2011
You would not believe how many times in the last five years I have ALMOST read your stories. I don't know why I never did. Maybe it was just intimidating to take on three stories at once - one of them being a huge monster. So this week I was looking for a good CT story that I had never read and I just dove in. Read all three in about four days - made my eyes bloodshot and everything. So obviously you did something right because I never put it down. _ You're getting all three reviews in one because they all go together and I didn't bother to put it down in between each piece to write reviews because I wanted to go on to the next one!
My overall impression - I really enjoyed the beginning and end. The middle kind of lulled. Honestly if I had read Tempo Trigger first I would have probably put it down fifteen (please don't quote me on the number and I'm too lazy to go back and check) or so chapters in because it had stopped being character driven and became more about the battles. I kept going because I figured it would eventually pick up because I had liked the first two stories so much. Don't get me wrong - the battles are epic and very well written (though they do tend to be rather long, which actually slows down the action because I'm anxious about what's going to happen next, but the long battle makes it take longer for me to find out). But the thing is - if I don't care about the character I don't really care about what happens in the battle.
For example, take the battle over the stone with Leopold, Tempo, Schala, and Ragonorn (or whatever his name is - can I just say Sephiroth? _) vs Moogoo. There's five characters here and I only feel connected to Schala and half way connected to Tempo. I have no idea why Moogoo is the bad guy or what his motivations are. Or why should Leopold be trusted? What makes him in the right? Simply that he's human? He has little personality other than being there.
And let's talk about relationships. Silva also has no personality. No development for the first 48 chapters. She's just there. Oftentimes I didn't even remember that she's there. It never felt like she and Tempo were in a relationship until the last few chapters for all the interactions they had. And what interaction they did have - none of it was tender or intimate. Not enough jealous Schala in here either. Your development between Schala and Tempo started out slow and then just dropped off the face of the story. I was excited during the gym scene because she was sending him telepathic thoughts. I thought they were getting closer. I loved it when Schala privately smiled to herself when he did something that connected him to his prior incarnation. And then there was no more - they became static - until Silva and Schala went to his house and sorted through laundry towards the end of the story.
My favorite character is Lionello! He starts out snarky and scoundrelish. And then you give him a well developed back story with emotion. He seems like a real person. (Tempo in comparison only has very superficial relationships with his friends) I care about what happens to him. And during his biggest battle with the weapons you give us an emotional anchor in his siblings. Because we know that at least one of them has to die. It adds tension.
And with Matt too! His death is tragic and therefore a powerful moment in your story. He's an example of what you can do with a small/supporting character. I do think Tess forgave Lion a little too easily. Because even is she understands and trusts that he loves her - the pain and anger she feels at and because of him is not just going to vanish. Intentions don't matter nearly as much as your actual deeds. She needs some time I think. Although - I do suppose two years went by during all of this. So her forgiving him should happen somewhere in the middle of those two years rather than right at the beginning of those two years.
So all that character development bashing being said - I almost feel like you didn't need this criticism. Because your last eight to ten chapters have been utterly fantastic! I think a lot of this probably reflects just how much YOU have grown and matured. Go you!
I loved the dream chapter where Levasos (how do you pronounce that? I can't - I've tried) has private conversations with them all. Because their motivations and dreams are finally revealed here. Both good guys and bad. I enjoy the interactions between Tempo and Silva. I think Lion has grown to be more responsible - being a father will do that to you. And I think Schala and Tempo MIGHT even be getting closer - though I'd really love to see chapter where their confiding in each other or something.
More things that I liked throughout the story:
Back to Mount Woe for a second: I think the one thing I liked more than anything else in this story was the slow divergence and tension between the earthbound and the enlightened. I honestly would have liked to have been witness to more of Karak's gradual shift from friendship, to trying to take care of his people (indignation when they are abandoned and neglected), and finally just a thirst for power. Vigo was also and interesting character.
I like the whole heroes reincarnation thing. I find these segments to be very interesting as I try to figure out who's who. Now you do confuse me a lot here - there are too many crossover references to so many different games/animes. This makes it hard for the majority of your readers to follow exactly what's happening because very few of your reader will be familiar with all of them. (I'm mostly referring to myself here I suppose). That being said, I really did enjoy these sections and found myself googling names to figure out where these characters were from. You've put a lot of thought into how this afterlife works and it shows.
My favorite line was from Lion and it was something like, "Has it only been three days? Feels like its been ten years since I met Tempo". I honestly didn't get the poke at the fourth wall there until about two hours after I had read it. And then I just randomly burst out laughing so hard I couldn't stop. My husband thought I was crazy (prolly 'cause I wasn't even reading then).
In any case, you've earned yourself another reader. I hope you finish this someday. Its okay if it takes forever for you to update. I understand this completely (I just put out the first update in two years in my own story. So I completely get it. I'm never going to stop working on it either. Its just too much fun!). Its refreshing to see how much you enjoy writing. I'm like you in that I hate going back and changing/editing because I'm too excited about the new stuff!
Wow! I think this was the longest review I've ever written (though it was probably one of the longest stories I ever read so I guess that makes sense). I hope you find it helpful. Let me know if you have questions about anything and I'd be happy to clarify!
| Novalon chapter 60 . 7/25/2009
I'll voice the same thing I thought when I read The Origin/Aftermath of Mt. Woe.
Ertai is a badass, and this chapter only nails that point further.
| MrEmperor chapter 59 . 7/16/2009
A wonderful chapter. I'm sorry I've not reviewed as much, but rest assured that I am reading this as soon as you update it. It's very interesting to speculate on why Lesavos insists on not using mind control. However, I'm very interested in seeing if he's made a planeswalker or not. Plus, what are these generations that everyone's talking about?
Keep up the good work!
| The Not-So Addict chapter 58 . 7/11/2009
Wow! I really enjoy your stories. Your writing quality and storyline are quite good. I'm amazed at the low amounts of reviews (Which doesn't really indicate anything) for this story, considering how good it is.
I probably would comment on some other things, but right now, I just woke up and don't quite feel like doing anything...So...
| MrEmperor chapter 56 . 7/6/2009
Aww... I just realized that this was the second to latest chapter, and now I'm sad. Nice chapter, but I'm wondering what happened to Janus/Magus. Oh well, I"ll find out soon~ish I hope.
Man this is going to make me want to work on my own story too. Although, there are no CT elements, or Planeswalker ones either, at least, not in the first story.
| MrEmperor chapter 55 . 7/6/2009
JACK! You did it! Yay for Mox Jet! Yay for the Weatherlight too! Is Tristan going to be around? Or is he too much of a bit character?
Anyway, you just made my day. Thanks man.
| MrEmperor chapter 34 . 7/6/2009
Wonderful story. I know I'd started to read this back over at Icy's pages, but now it's here, and much longer too! If you do end up bringing in Jack from Planeswalker, I would be ecstatic, but I'd still love the story anyway if he didn't show up. I have no idea why you have so few reviews, but rest assured, I'm going to be trying to help fix that, as long as I find something to comment on.
Thanks for putting this back up here!
| Raistlin Majere chapter 56 . 3/11/2009
so happy this story is being updated again
| Novalon chapter 55 . 2/21/2009
I rather enjoyed The Planeswalkers, Chrono Continuum, and The Shadows. I'd almost forgotten that you had incorporated The Shadows at the end of your Mt. Woe epic, but as it stands, I'm quite enthused to see an update again.
Although it has been quite some time since I last read Trials of the King, in the back of my mind, I always wondered what became of Kash, how he came to be, etc., and hopefully that will all be explained somewhere.
What a wonderful chapter! Now that you've updated, I feel that I need to get back to work on my stuff again.
| Varil chapter 54 . 12/17/2008
Wo! I remember reading your stuff on Icy's in what seemed forever ago. I was always kinda disappointed that I wouldn't get to see how this one ended, so I'm very happy to see you trying to complete it. Definately looking forward to seeing where this eventually goes.
| Novalon chapter 51 . 9/18/2008
Finally, I caught myself up with the rest of the story. Let me be the first to thank you for ending such a long cliffhanger, you have given me the resolve to finish what I've started as well.
Good luck, and I hope you don't deal with any writers block along the way!
| Novalon chapter 36 . 9/4/2008
You really know how to write fight scenes. Even though it's been a while since I read this, I still don't know what to expect in the fighting, and I find that to be satisfying.
I like how you incorporated "The Planeswalkers", seeing as how Mox Jet did work off of your "Mount Woe" saga. At first, the whole "brothers" comment confused me until I read your author's note and actually had to remember the other series.
I think yours, Mox Jet's, Cain's, and Nightsong's, are among the best stuff I've read from Icy's site, and the best part about all of it is the fact that they all try to incorporate some aspect of each other to try and stay within the same universe.
Keep it up, this story's definitely better than what the lack of reviews show for it.
| Rast chapter 1 . 8/23/2008
So, you're going to finish this now, right? Do you know how many years I've been waiting, *hoping*, you would finish this? Um...since 2002, I believe. Maybe '03. Please don't leave me in suspense forever! I kept checking Icy's site, hoping there would be an update...but no. :( And now you're here, and please please please finish this story! I need to know what happens! Who's Greven? Is it Tempo, or Levasos? What will happen to Schala, now that she has...Nooze issues? Will she ever tell Tempo what happened to her? These are things I need to know!
| Novalon chapter 14 . 8/10/2008
Wow, reading this again is certainly a bit of a nostalgia bomb. I remember really enjoying all the stuff you posted on Icy's site. Unfortunately, trying my hand at Fanfiction back then just lead to all the boring repetitive stuff that's common with most fics.
While my current stuff is arguably better, whenever I get the chance to work on it, it's still good to see the old stuff that influenced me. It's also nice to read that you intend to keep up with writing even after 10 years, it gives me a little hope that I might actually get back to finishing what I have unfinished here.
I can't wait to read the rest and see if it all pans out as I remember!