|Reviews for An Eventful Party|
| Ameyoke chapter 1 . 4/19/2009
Yay~ Great job! I was the one who suggested this category of anime, so I'm super happy that you support the same pairings that I do~
| Japhet in search of a father chapter 1 . 9/6/2008
I... I... I had almost allowed myself the conceit that we might leave old Kajiwara-san alone, if no one else. Well. Something in us, I guess, demands that all characters must make out with one another at some point, or be destroyed. I think the duality between destruction and romance is the prime mover behind all fiction. If this were my story, I would illustrate this concept thus: when Sora's sanctity was violated by the putrid mouth of that unclean male, it would result in the detonation of the sun.
And so on. You did not make much attempt, I see, to transliterate the Ryou & Fuu phenomenon. This was wise.
I like Sora in the manga better (although this is implausible, since I like animated Sora to an infinite degree). I've read two volumes and thus far she has yet to be responsible for a single line of spoken dialogue - not to her friends, not to her brother. That's what you call sticking to your principles.
| Cytrus chapter 1 . 8/6/2008
To start, it's good to see a Sketchbook fic here - that's one under-appreciated series.
With your work's length, it is obvious you put effort into it. You also tried to weave in as many of the different characters' quirks as possible, which is a good thing.
Some things to note:
Some developments seem a bit too fast. Indeed, aiming to move two pairs from 'referring to each other by last name' to 'kissing openly in public' in a single chapter would be hard for any characters. The literary devices you use to speed things up, like accidental kisses and all, are anime classics, but do we really need them to appear in written fiction too? And that was one drastic approach to courting the super-shy Sora of all people. One really has to have guts of steel to do such stuff.
And Japanese usage. I'm not sure you realize that the -sama suffix is mostly out of use in contemporary Japan, reserved for addressing the imperial family and set phrases like 'dear customer'. It's meaning roots back to feudal relationships, and it looks very awkward used between entirely normal people of equal status in this story. The default polite suffix is -san.
And while honorifics actually add to the story, throwing in random Japanese phrases only tends to alienate some readers. You know the proper equivalents - there's no harm using them, or playing around with them to make the scenes sound even better.
I hope to read more of your work in the future