|Reviews for Final Betrayal|
| adder574 chapter 5 . 8/7/2008
Evil cliffies. Loved Sam calling the car a she and Dean realizing Sam gave him mouth to mouth. Looking forward to the next part. This story in terrific.
| SupernaturalGeek chapter 5 . 8/7/2008
Oh. My. God. First off I was as panicked as Sam when Dean stopped breathing, because I really wasn't expecting that, then I was tense when Dean was getting the salt out of the car, and then.. You ran him over. With the Impala. I cannot believe you ran him over with his baby!
That was such a gripping chapter and the dialogue was spot on, as usual. I nearly cheered when Marcus finally worked out what we already know, but now it's too late - I cannot believe that Dean just said goodbye! Seriously, if you don't update soon I swear I'll have no fingernails left..
Had to quote this bit, as despite the utter seriousness of the situation it really felt just like them:
“Dude, did you just say she? I knew it. You like my baby too. Admit it!” He hoped the humor would take some of the fear and sadness from his face. The tiny smile he received didn't quite reach his eyes, but it was a start. “Hang on a minute. You said I stopped breathing. Does that mean-”
“Yeah, Dean. It does. I had to give you-”
“Don't even say it out loud. That's just gross! We tell no one about it. Ever. You got that?” The worst part was now he had a mental image he was sure he didn't want. “Gross!” This time a laugh and the sadness was gone.
| TraSan chapter 4 . 8/6/2008
Oh dear, the odd logic of spirits (or lack thereof). The boys are really in trouble!
Poor Dean, being attacked by his own car, shortly after it attacked Sam. Hopefully, concussed Sam can think clearly long enough to get to Dean and save him.
| deangirl1 chapter 4 . 8/6/2008
I'm loving how this story is coming together - you totally had me going - all the clues were there... I particularly love that you have "exorcised" your own cars by putting them in the salvage yard! LOL! I usually just kill off the people who are annoying me in my fics - I'll have to be more creative!
| amoslin7419 chapter 4 . 8/6/2008
Another great chapter. Poor Dean.
| adder574 chapter 4 . 8/6/2008
This is really getting good. Please update soon.
| SupernaturalGeek chapter 4 . 8/6/2008
There were so many things I loved about that chapter! Sam being his awesome research-boy self and working out the connection, Dean ignoring his own injuries to drag Sam back to the motel room and then narrowly avoiding a girlie hug.. It was just brilliant, through and through.
But that really sucks, having the Impala posessed by that evil spirit. And as sorry as I am the guy lost his brother, he's forfeited any sympathy by messing with Dean's baby and trying to kill the boys..
Despite the tension there were a lot of things that made me smile, including Sam thinking that salting & burning the Impala was not an option (so true) and Dean being mortified that it had now switched from Country to Celine Dion!
There was one bit that literally gave me the shivers though, it just tied in so well with what we saw in AHBL1:
The last bit of information caused Sam to look over at his big brother and wonder. Would he do that? Would he just give up if I weren't here? He hoped the answer would be no, but couldn't be certain. He'd make sure they never needed to find out.
Looking forward to the next one!
| TraSan chapter 3 . 8/5/2008
Another awesome chapter!
Hee - all Heather's are hot. LOL
Hmm...so, why is it that Sam feels this isn't over. Methinks the boys are in for more trouble.
Great job. Looking forward to more.
| Jaye Black chapter 3 . 8/5/2008
Ah this is good. :D It has a very "Christine"-ish feel to it, what with the car going against them. The idea of Dean's expression after Sam said the Impala probably just liked country music is priceless. xD
Great story so far! I can't wait for an update. :D
| Jaye Black chapter 2 . 8/5/2008
Oh I very much like this. It has all the feel of an actual episode, and I love how touchy the guys got when the mom tried to blame the older brother. (I woulda flipped out, haha.)
| Jaye Black chapter 1 . 8/5/2008
Oh wow I wasn't expecting that last line! Nice job, haha. This is really good so far.
| amoslin7419 chapter 3 . 8/5/2008
Very intriguing, can't wait for more.
| SupernaturalGeek chapter 3 . 8/5/2008
Uh-oh.. Why do I have a bad feeling about the Impala suddenly developing an actual, physical personality? That's so not good.
Nice to see a spirit seem to welcome the boy's work for once, although there's obviously something still not right in that town. I enjoyed reading Sam's POV on the near-miss as well, especially the fact his first thought was to reassure Dean he was ok.
You're definitely building the tension nicely here and I'm genuinely hooked. As always I have my favourite quote, which was this one - once again you captured the boys perfectly:
Someday Sam would learn not to let his emotions show so clearly on his face. Though he doubted he'd ever learn to hide them completely from his brother. Dean's spidey-sense when it came to Sam was a little unnerving at times. And comforting. No one else knew him like his big brother. Not even Jessica. Certainly not their father.
Looking forward to more! :)
| SupernaturalGeek chapter 2 . 8/5/2008
That was brilliant. Loved Dean trying to come up with ways to get Sam out of his depression, even resorting to suggesting a dinousaur park! *rofl* And yes, they probably would be unlucky enough to encounter a prehistoric poltergeist..
I was really anxious reading that first bit about poor Sherry and felt so sorry for her when the accident happened with no way for her to avoid it. I'm really intrigued as to what's happening. I also LOVED the bit of action there, with the little girl. Go Sam for rescuing her and I adored how he immediately laid into that women, backing up what Dean had said. It's great to see him do that, especially as you just know he's thinking of how unfair it was Dean always getting the blame and responsibility at such a young age. As for the woman, she really needs a lesson in parenting if you ask me.
Glad the Impala wasn't too badly damaged - this is definitely shaping up to be really interesting and I can't wait for more. Before I go though, just had to quote this one bit that made me grin - it was just so 'them':
It was going to be very hard to sleep in the room with so many eyes staring back. Sam will just love this room. Bet he could even tell me which kind of dinosaur was which.
| SupernaturalGeek chapter 1 . 8/5/2008
Wow, awesome start. I am loving 'seeing' the thoughts running through the boy's heads, Dean so upset and browbeaten and Sam so worried about him. You can almost feel the angst and I can't wait to find out what has actually happened. Especially now you said the Impala tried to kill him? *falls off chair*
This bit really summed up the boys and their relationship for me and showed a great grasp of their characters;
Sam watched as Dean went to the motel office to check out, his slight limp the only visible reminder of all they’d endured on this hunt. Visible to the rest of the world that is. Sam could tell how much he was still hurting even if Dean thought he was hiding it from his little brother. They still hadn’t discussed what happened. Knowing how the older hunter felt about “chick flick moments,” it would be only after Sam screamed, begged and annoyed the truth from him, in that order. It always came down to being annoying. But Sam always won in the end.
Brilliant - off to read the next chapter now! :)