|Reviews for Just a Game|
| Calyn chapter 1 . 2/6/2011
I've only read Hogfather once, and that was a few years ago, so I have no idea who Havelock Vetinari is...but I STILL recognize this as an amazing piece of work.
Something tells me that Vetinari is very in character. And Death seems to be as well.
Very well done. Faved.
| CarrieVS chapter 1 . 1/2/2011
Your English is much better than quite a few people writing on this site who claim to speak it as a first language.
| lazyguy90 chapter 1 . 5/28/2009
Brilliant. Very nice work on this. Keep at it.
| Mr Stereo1 chapter 1 . 4/6/2009
"And when death came for him, he was not afraid. He walked with him like an old companion."
Well done, Vetinari needs to go out with style. This story adds new meaning to the quote.
| GOTHGIRL2K9 chapter 1 . 2/18/2009
one word. fan-tastic
| Akylae chapter 1 . 9/11/2008
I knew what kind of a duel, but to have victory be predicting the outcome? So unexpected and so Vetinari. And his political views...
Very nice :)
| sturmeskind chapter 1 . 8/12/2008
You've caught his character exactly... yay.
I liked how you described his relationship with Vimes.
| quiller chapter 1 . 8/7/2008
Interesting idea - the two are certainly well matched opponents!
I admire anyone who can write in a language that is not their mother tongue - it's hard enought to do in your own language.
Just one quibble - in chess you say 'check' when you have trapped your opponent, and 'checkmate' or 'mate' when he can't get out of it.
| eruthiel chapter 1 . 8/5/2008
OH my god. He dies. I suppose it would be uber-hypocritical to complain after writing his afterlife...!
Vetinari SO in-character. I envy you. This is a very good idea (only I didn't think they /had/ chess in Discworld), and well-written, too. I will join Virtuella on this. *adds to C2*
| Lillz chapter 1 . 8/5/2008
very good. you have a very good grasp on the characters, Vetinari especially
do you have any more DW fics, i wonder? off for a look :)
| Virtuella chapter 1 . 8/3/2008
While this is not the most original idea in the world, you execute it well and in a very Vetinari-appropriate way. The reflections on the best manner to rule the city are convincing, and Vetinari's views on the role of kings are very in character. It is typical for Vetinari not to want anything for himself, but to be keenly interested in observing. I very much like the way you portray him here. Death is also well handled, though maybe a little bland in comparison.
I have a slight problem with the set-up, because usually only witches and wizards see Death before they actually die. Maybe you could weave in a little explanation why Vetinari would also have this special grace. And at the end, he actually needs to die - remember that Death swinging the scythe doesn't actually kill people, it only separates their souls from their bodies once they are dead.
- " a tall skeleton-like figure" Death isn't "skeleton-like", he is an actual skeleton!
- You mention them sitting down, but then you repeatedly say that they stand during their game.
- "Vetinari stop to think this time" That should be "stopped"
- It is Death of Rats, not of mice.
- "the most important in all times" That should be "at all times"
If you were going to fix these little mistakes, I would be happy to add this story to my Vetinari C2.
| Charli800 chapter 1 . 8/3/2008
Interesting . . . very interesting. You've played Vetinari out nicely. Death was slightly cardboard-cutout ish (some of his actions don't seem to have a motivation) and I don't think he would actually explain what happens next to Vetinari, when he's refused for everyone else. Other than that, your story is great.
Consider finding a beta-reader to help with the flow of your English: it's not bad now, but you could make your story a little better that way. Think about it, perhaps. Like I said, your English isn't bad, but it's not perfect either.