Reviews for Breaking Dawn Parody
IZZYPURE chapter 4 . 12/16/2012
Mmm she is an anti-feminist isn't she? Disappointing...
I would read a book about time traveling mermaids with sparklepire sperm with magical pixie horses that sucked blood and unicorns that are biopolar. :)
IZZYPURE chapter 3 . 12/16/2012
I know right? The book was very poorly written.

Bella: I get married and go to sleep with my husband I only got married to for the sex!
Edward: Even though I had no control over my hormones or vampire strength, somehow I only BRUISE Bella.
Bella: I get pregnant super fast so I can be a vampire before 19.
Jacob: I see Bella die then come back to life! Oh, and imprint.
Bella: I do stuff that will never matter.
Edward: I sit around and play the piano.
Aro: I come, get scared off by one newborn and leave!
Bella: And we have you-know-what forever after!

Even the movie was better. At least it had epic battle scenes. Sigh.
IZZYPURE chapter 2 . 12/16/2012
Bella (Dieing and vomiting up blood): I'm a women in love and I love what it's doing to me! *Singing*
Rennesmee (Or however you spell it): I can talk at age 5 days and walk and I am soooo beautiful. Hey! Is that disgusting looking thing my mommy? I love her *bite*
Edward (Instead of saving Bella's life): No. Bad girl.
Jacob: Uh-oh. She died. I will now go kill baby. *looks into chocolate brown eyes* OMC, I soooo don't care that she is half natural enemy and my best friends baby who is dead upstairs, I'm going to sleep with her!

IZZYPURE chapter 1 . 12/16/2012
MrLakelynator chapter 3 . 7/11/2012
Omg SO FUNNY I read the hole thing in liek 5 mins! Make MOAR.
HALARIOUS chapter 1 . 4/8/2012

These are my ten favorite parts because I couldn't choose just 1 or 5 or just 9 and remember these are just my favorites.I like a lot more of them.

(wakes up): Why…wait. Why am I covered in feathers?

Edward: Oh, I bit a pillow or two.

Bella: Um, why?

Edward: Because they taste yumm—I mean, so I didn't accidentally hurt you.

: My period is five days late and my stomach has a slight but definite bump! I'm preggers!

Edward (gasp): But how? Don't worry, Bella! Carlisle and I will get that thing out of you!

Bella: Oh he nudged me…wait! What did you say?

Bella steals Edward's phone and dials.

Bella: Rosalieeeeee!

Emmett: Um, no, this is Emmett, but I'll get Rose.

Bella: Rosalieeeeeeeeeeee!

Rosalie: Um, ok…..

Bella: I'm preggers! But Edward wants to kill our demon vamp child! You HAVE to help me!

, the book is now is Jacob's POV

: Guess what? The Cullens are back. Bella is dying from some strange South American disease. Maybe we should send flowers.

: Hi Jacob, my bestest friend who I also happen to be in love with even though I am married and pregnant with Edward's demon vamp child.

Jacob: Hey, Bella, nice to see you—wait was that last part about demon vamp child?

Bella stands up to reveal her swollen belly even though she's only been pregnant for like two weeks.

Blonde Vamp jumps in front of Bella.

Rosalie: I must protect the vamp baby cuz I'm gonna steal it and call it my own once Bella dies while giving birth. Muhahhahaha!

Everyone stares at Rosalie.

Rosalie: Oops, did I just say that out loud? (laughs nervously)

: Well, I guess I'll go order a pizza. Have you ever heard of anyone who doesn't like pizza? (mumbles to self) Even I like pizza.

Edward: Wait! I have an idea! Jacob just thought of exactly what that thing wants!

Jacob: I did?

Carlisle: What is it then? (silently hopes its Chinese food cuz he could go for that right now too)

gives birth on, like, the floor. Edward chews the vamp kid out of her uterus. There is lots of blood.

Bella: The pain!

Edward: He's a girl!

Rosalie: She's mine!

Bella: Renesmee!

: Do you want to see your daughter now?

Bella: What daughter?

Edward: The one that you suffered weeks of incisive pain for. She broke your ribs, pelvis, and chewed her way out of your uterus.

Bella: Ohhh, that one! Sure I'd like to meet her!

: So do you want to hear about the whole me getting changed into a vamp thing?

Charlie: I'd rather not. Hey, let's watch the game.

Emmett and Charlie watch the game.

Charlie: So Emmett, what do you think about the Gators?

I also love the one with Doctor was HALARIOUS!This all was the funniest things I've ever read and the whole thing is so you for making this because this story made my day.
mintgil chapter 5 . 3/11/2012
this story was really funny , made me laugh alot
diehardtwihardchica chapter 4 . 2/27/2012
I love this! Its soooooooo true! This book just went crazy and was schizophernic!
uracow99 chapter 5 . 2/6/2011
*dies from too much laughter* I could NEVER have come up with this by myself its like a funny summary and the extras you put up...well, let's just say there should have been a you-may-laugh-your-pants-off-at-how-pathectic-this-is warning on it. And a gay warning with the Edward-Carlisle-Santa Claus incident. And I take it you are not a Twilight fan? Or you just really like to make fun of books? Sorry I didn't reply sooner I just found out about this sight really recently.. and HA!
ThePerfectMess chapter 5 . 1/17/2011

this story made my day.
Tashwampa chapter 5 . 1/16/2011
Oh, God. That was too goddamned funny. My cheeks hurt! I agree wi th you all that suspension for nothing, the sudden stop of development. What pissed me off particularly was not having some questions answered. (like what happened to Marcus's mate. I was surprised when anyone but myself cared.) You hit the fucking nail on the head. God, that was funny as hell. Anyway, thanks for that!
wolfgirl 003 chapter 2 . 10/13/2010
your right there is spoilers in here
wolfgirl 003 chapter 1 . 10/13/2010
very funny
DarkBitch08 chapter 5 . 7/7/2010


:) I liked the Potterverse inserts!
we use dollars not haircombs chapter 5 . 7/5/2010
"Carlisle, you yummy platypus!" Edward yelled. "How could you cheat on me with...with..." Edward looked and then rubbed his neck and looked again. It was Santa Claus.


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