|Reviews for She is why I live|
| coduss chapter 1 . 5/8/2014
good start, faved and followed
| SEEKER452 chapter 1 . 11/28/2010
wish you wood update please i you said you were good to
| Storyreader16 chapter 1 . 10/20/2008
Well should mention, I do flame if needed. But I don't see it warrented here. So far you have a good plot coming together. Also a substantial amount of work in one chapter. Now for the messy parts. Gramatical error, and sentence flow were very evident. Some minor punctuation/capitaliztion errors. Honestly I would say this is a very good rough draft. A quick re-work watch for begining of quotes "what kind of-" W would be capitalized when begining a sentence. Again the flow of the sentence structure seemed alittle choppy. Also the story felt alittle rushed. Not the 800 word essay in 10 minutes before class rushed. But still rushed.
On another note, I looked forward to the next update.
| Mike Kromer chapter 1 . 9/16/2008
Awh man I would love to read more of this, don't just end it here. There is some gramer/ spelling isues but other than that great start, get me another chapter up ASAP it's that good
| little cute kitty chapter 1 . 8/3/2008
the stroy was very god and very will writing by the person who did this stroy it was a little but good
| Beaufortninja chapter 1 . 8/3/2008
He had a kid when he was 11? Dude. Come on.
| traCky skAAr chapter 1 . 8/3/2008
Heheh... take it as constructive critism, not as flame. I think that this story is tragedy. You should read more books and than maybe You should start to write something. You dont even start with big letter in conversations and sometimes even normal clause. Also You use only basic and simply words... I wonder if english is you primary language? You should write more about the feelings they feel at the moment, about the actions they take and describe the surroundings the characters are in. The story itself is corny and moves too fast. The amount of word 'I love' is used in this chapter more than I said it in my girlfriend XD! Really corny! Also about the plot... I mean 11 years old when he did it? :O Thats some perv he is :