Reviews for Three years later
chapter 1 chapter 1 . 8/4/2014
just so you know its first a baby boy 'Then a baby boy...

I know because Legend of korra Bumi,Kya,Tenzin
Guest chapter 2 . 1/12/2014
more sex
Guest chapter 2 . 1/3/2014
Hard core
Guest chapter 2 . 1/14/2013
Have the women fuck lesbian with bending
Holly chapter 1 . 9/7/2010
Um... that sucked. Sorry :(
Lunabellla chapter 2 . 7/3/2010
Er...RAPE? Please don't do that. And yes you CAN get pregnant the first time. I did.
EMMA ROCX chapter 1 . 10/17/2008
ok i don't really want to be mean but you really dont write very good lemons. it was short and i couldn't really see anything in my mind like i can with most fanfics. if you want to make it better then try adding a little bit more detail and using words like ' her body was aroused i could almost feel me inside her. ' and im really not going to say anything on grammar and stuff like that because i suck at it to so dont feel alone. now i mostly read twilight fanfics and they are really good with lemons if you want to see a really good lemon story search ' cullen island ' it rocks. if you need any help you can always p.m. me - oh and i dont really write storys with lemons in them because my sister reads my stories and i really dont want to get in trouble -
ttt chapter 1 . 9/25/2008
its Zuko & Mai, duh
ttt chapter 1 . 9/25/2008
i agree with dst 100 persent.
dsf chapter 1 . 9/23/2008
you no that you do not get a girl pregant every time you do it
Wildpath chapter 2 . 8/20/2008
I like it. Name your next story something with live in your title.
pretzelboy chapter 2 . 8/17/2008
please don't do rape, if i wanted to hear about that i'd watch the friking news.
ashjamwoo chapter 1 . 8/7/2008
It was short and sweet! Loved it
Ryan L. Spradling chapter 1 . 8/6/2008
Well it does show promise. Have you seen my work?
Vilthuril chapter 1 . 8/4/2008
What is it you were aiming for with this?

The interaction is heavy handed and crud making think you are trying to write magazine style pornography. But the intro and the epilogue detail feels as though you are aiming for a more romantic work.

If you are going for romance, slow your pace way down, drop the vulgarity and the talk of babies. If you want 'Letters to the Forum' then drop the life detail (and the babies) and you could still stand to slow the pace down. Plus avoid trying to combine a 'first time' with a raunchy scene.
19 | Page 1 2 Next »