|Reviews for The Ultimate Shinobi|
| oakgem217 chapter 1 . 1/11
I think that, while you have an exciting premise, your use of description could use some work. What really turned me off of this story was how you described your OC. A lot of the words you used didn't need to be there. For instance,
"Kunai sailed through the air attempting to hit a single target, a fairly aged man wearing a large black cloak that covered everything but the forearms and the head. His arms were bare not including a blue wristband with a scroll tied to it on the left and a red wristband on the right, each with a gemstone of the corresponding color."
"Kunai sailed through the air attempting to hit their target, an aged man wearing a black cloak covering his body, save for his forearms and head. On each wrist, he carried a red and blue scroll, with a corresponding colored gemstone tied to it's length."
| kiba's girl chapter 67 . 3/4/2014
nooooooooooooo i loved this chapter. this was the kind of thing i needed. the little naruhina gave my heart a break after all this fighting. you see im watching the war AND reading this fanfic so all the fightin is puttin a lot on me. thank you for this. Arigato.
| kiba's girl chapter 27 . 3/4/2014
lol funny :) i think this is an awesome coincidence but its chapter 27 and hinata-chan b-day is the 27th lol awesome work
| Lahmikhara chapter 73 . 2/19/2014
That's a bloody evil point to end this part of the story xD
I really do hope the sequel will be continued one of these days because after the rather slow start this was among the best of the stories I read on fanfiction. And after all I've read that's saying something :)
All in all great job.
| Guest chapter 60 . 1/20/2014
Wow this story is AMAZING!
| Necrosanct chapter 13 . 5/24/2013
I'm enjoying this story, though it is taking an obnoxiously long time for anything to happen. What has happened so far, could have been condensed into one chapter.
There is one thing, however, that I am not enjoying.
If you are going to write a story in English, do not write random words in Japanese. The only time a story written in a language different from the language spoken by the characters should deviate from the language it is written in, should be when a character uses a phrase or a term that cannot be properly translated.
Failing to do this can only make you look like a fool. The Japanese words you have used are among the first Japanese children speak. In fact, 'hai' and 'gomen' are the only two words one needs to know before immigrating to Japan. Also, 'hai' is only used in certain circumstances; it is certainly not to be used in the place of 'okay'.
Children whose primary language is English should never attempt to use Japanese unless they are fluent; other than honorifics, of course. I'm sorry, but it makes you seem immature, ignorant, and disrespectful.
It doesn't help that every fanfiction written in English does this exact same thing; with the exact same words written in
| Dallas Vestle chapter 24 . 2/17/2013
I can't believe it took me 24 chapters to realize that Arashi uses moves from History's Strongest Disciple Kenichi. I feel dumb now. Still, Awesome story, hope I can read more from you
| scapegoat25 chapter 1 . 5/16/2012
At last I've found it! I never finished this story before I left it be for a while. And then what do you know I go and forget what it was called. But never again, this is going right into my favorites.
| scout360pyro chapter 2 . 5/8/2012
| toilet606 chapter 21 . 2/19/2012
i'm confused is this a naruto or a hinata
could you put some naruto in
| minato01 chapter 11 . 2/19/2012
hurry up and get to the part where they leave for the training trip please
| hhhhh chapter 24 . 10/29/2011
its funny how you made the intier shinobi world seem so week iv seen that other anime your taking about and how you said any one of those guys could fight a sannin and would win. mabey if they fout tsunadi and it would be an even mach and you oveusle havent seen jiriya in sage mode soo yaeh.
| rantnrave09 chapter 24 . 6/12/2011
I have a more appropriate title for this story; "The Mightiest Disciple: Hinata".
| raptorcatz chapter 9 . 6/5/2011
anyone else find it odd the an old man was just watching a naked 13 year old girl flail her arms around and take a bath
| mrjsutphenEDU chapter 2 . 12/19/2010
Oh, I'm sorry! It's chapter 2. :)