|Reviews for STARVATION|
| BlackRose chapter 16 . 1/29
you need an editor REALLY REALLY REALLY BADLY, I can barely read your story, which is a shame, because I think the idea was really good, it was just soooooo poorly written, there are soooooo many errors!
| Micheal myers Halloween lover chapter 29 . 4/6/2012
| TulipNixphe chapter 29 . 7/10/2011
sooooooo did she die in a carcrash!
| the-hottest-cullen-girl chapter 29 . 1/26/2010
cant wait for more :)
| yheezy chapter 29 . 12/5/2009
Your story's format is really confusing. The way you write, it's almost not even English. A ridiculous amount of spelling errors, grammatical errors, and terrible wording. I'm going to assume your first language isn't English. If that's true, then you should (if you're going to really write and be a writer, here or professionally) state it and try to improve that. Reading a story that makes no sense due to errors in your spelling, grammar, and all that other junk.. ugh. Your story is just too confusing. Also, your chapters aren't even really chapters. Nor are your sneak peeks even that. As a previous review said, you just repeat chapters. Then, your ending really makes no sense. Along with the random weird junk you added to your story. I hate to be this harsh, but if you've written 38 stories, I'd hope you'd attempt to fix your errors to improve your writing. Another thing I dislike about this story, is that your character developments are so very unlike the characters themselves, which isn't always bad, but you made them extremely weird. You tried to keep Carlisle as the nice doctor who falls in love with Bella, but if you wanted Carlisle to be the hero persona.. why did you allow him to watch Bella get raped continuously when you had him know from the start of your story? Why was Bella so clueless? You didn't have enough background even explaining as to why she never told someone, or why she wanted to protect Charlie, or anything that you wrote in the story that DIDN'T make sense. You don't have a separation of what are thoughts, dialog, or etc. We have to assume something is a thought, as well as who is talking.
VERY DISAPPOINTED WITH THIS STORY.
Had you fixed up the errors, the general story plot could have been good. (Bella raped/beaten by her father, Carlisle finding out, them falling for each other, and him saving her.) Though you didn't really do that, because you made Carlisle act horribly by watching it happen, and even advancing on her when he knows it's more traumatizing as she's been raped!
| yaya101294 chapter 14 . 8/29/2009
what is it with you and the time will tell's?
| MissAnderson92 chapter 29 . 6/14/2009
love it x
| Firestormpwr chapter 29 . 4/5/2009
well, im going to keep reading to see how this ends but you may want to think about when its finished to take it down and clean it up and then repost. You repeat chapters alot even when there not marked "sneak peeks" and the sneak peeks are rather annoying too because the peek is almost the entire chapter with some stuff added in the end. Also you could do with a beta to reread your work to fix some of the spelling.
didnt mean to be so harsh but they way your story is formatted now is almost headache inducing
| lover-of-all-fanfiction chapter 29 . 3/20/2009
ok i finished the story! woot woot but it is soo sad! i like funny stories lol but i like this one too lol
| lover-of-all-fanfiction chapter 16 . 3/20/2009
like the story! but i havent got to finish it yet lol sorry
| Pie4theWin chapter 22 . 2/10/2009
I like the story.. yay for Carlisle and Bella... but it gets confusing whenever you redo a chapter or change it after writing it :P
| mmbray chapter 29 . 2/7/2009
i love the way you wrote it its amazing you should write more like about what happens when shes free ya know:P
| Nanami-Himuro chapter 9 . 1/12/2009
that was cool how u let carlisle and bella's pov! i wonder when they'll get together.
| Nanami-Himuro chapter 8 . 1/12/2009
i can't bleve that u madwe charlie so evil! the chpt. was awesome though!
| Nanami-Himuro chapter 7 . 1/12/2009
this i sso cool! i can't awit 2 read more, it's getting so interesting and i can't wait 4 the next chapter! X3