|Reviews for The Point of Divergence|
| Lerris chapter 31 . 6/19/2011
This story was overall very good, even with me skipping many many of the sections involving non Konoha characters. In general it appears that your writing improved considerably over the course of this story, and while the early parts could use further cleanup, I'm not sure the time wouldn't be better spent on a different story. I am a bit disappointed, but not surprised at how Sakura turned out. The Hyuuga arc was also interesting. Also, if I'm not mistaken it seems the Kyuubi has developed, or pretended to develop, a small amount of respect for Naruto over time. Thinking over the whole story, a few things come to mind. First, you might be using pieces of the Japanese language to excess for a story written in English, although you did continually provide definitions and it was still quite followable, so that may be minor. Second, while your character development was generally good, however at times it appeared to be overshadowed by the amount of fighting in the story. Third and finally, to me at least, the story seemed on the long side, hence why I skipped over the aforementioned sections. I'm guessing if one really had the time to seriously edit, you could have a better story in perhaps half to two-thirds as many words.
In the end thought the story is high enough equality to easily merit a favorite...
| Lerris chapter 25 . 6/19/2011
This is yet another quite good chapter.
| Lerris chapter 20 . 6/18/2011
This was a particularly good chapter. Then again the third was on the way out either way. The real question will be who will replace him.
| Lerris chapter 15 . 6/18/2011
Overall this is good. The biggest area you might want to focus on is one of perspective. First of all, you do not necessarily want to wide of a perspective. If you cover in detail what all the major characters are doing, it may be less effective than just sticking with a few and seeing how they few the world. Second, you quite often tell us what characters are thinking, and that may be something you want to minimize, particularly for non major characters. Basically, if you can express the same information, without resorting to hearing a persons thoughts, then often that is the way to go, but the main thing is to stick with at most one persons viewpoint per scene. Switching between them just does not seem to flow well. For that matter, usually the reader does not directly know the thoughts of non major characters, and must guess them by their actions and interactions with others. That allows a bit of mystery and uncertainty which is usually a good thing.
| X59 chapter 32 . 6/4/2011
this was a brilliantly story.
I just loved how you explored the shades of grey...too many Naruto fics make one side completely evil and the other noble and true.
Their Ninja, not Samurai.
I get that the Danzo is obsessed with becoming the Hokage but surely he should realize that there is no grantee that Tsunade will suffer the entire fall out
| Alpenwolf chapter 16 . 5/27/2011
i didnt review until now if i remember it right ... but this story is really interesting, it is completely different from the other stories i have read so far and i will read it until it ends (ok i know that this story is complete so far and that there is some kind of sequel) how it ends doesnt matter to me atm P
| Najus chapter 16 . 5/25/2011
1. How you have portrayed Sakura's condition seems to be closer to multiple personality disorder than schizophrenia.
2. Fauna is animals. I think you meant flora?
3. The list of Japanese words and terms is getting a bit excessive, perhaps you should consider only adding the terms new to the chapter in later stories?
Other than those three minor points, the story is great.
The plot is awesome and you don't rush character development like others who shall remain unnamed.
Keep up the good work. .
| Scotty McShortsman chapter 14 . 5/22/2011
Gotta love the complexity of everything, it just seems like it all flows together. Really good!
| FlagsOfDistraction chapter 31 . 5/16/2011
annnnnd...fade to black. This was indeed a great read and i'm looking forward to the sequel. keep up the good work
| FlagsOfDistraction chapter 29 . 5/15/2011
great chapter, great ending to the story as a whole. i'm looking forward to reading the sequel and i feel that your writing skills are exponential.
| FlagsOfDistraction chapter 25 . 5/11/2011
epic ending, great chapter! didn't expect that to happen
| FlagsOfDistraction chapter 20 . 5/3/2011
epic ending, great chapter!
| Dude chapter 8 . 4/21/2011
He cant marry into any clan except Yamanaka. If you didn't say it before and we all knew then this is major foreshadowing.
| SirenLullabies chapter 21 . 4/3/2011
I'm enjoying this story immensely and I love the way you've captured the characters and the way their actions and reactions fit with the story and how well they fit with cannon.
One piece of constructive criticism, however regarding your choice of words throughout the story thus far. One word in particular have been misused repeatedly so I just wanted to make you aware in case you edit or rewrite in the future.
'Prodigal' is used to describe characters like Neji and Kabuto and I think the word you want is prodigy. A prodigal is someone who is recklessly wasteful or extravagant with his money in order to live a lavish lifestyle whereas a prodigy is a young person with extraordinary or exceptional talent.
Sorry if I'm nitpicking; that's not my intention. I just thought you might want to know.
| Impstar chapter 31 . 3/26/2011
An excellent story of high quality. I like the way you write, and I look forward to reading the sequel.