Sans would be proud... (IM FROM THE FUTURE)

Everything about this from start to finish was amazing. Beautifully written and the characters were so ...THEM. i have never been disappointed from any of your d / s fics yet.

Looking around, Shego finally found the perfect candidate for her little experiment. So she got off of her bike, walked up to him...and kicked his ass.
Literally.
There were two resulting gasps; one from the tall, bulky slab of fat and muscle to whose rear end she'd just delivered a swift kick, and the other from Drakken, whose eyes practically popped out of their sockets over the seemingly unprovoked assault.
"Shego!" Drakken hissed, scrambling off of his bike and trying to pull her back by her arm. "What are you thinking? Are you nuts?"
The large guy turned around to glare at them, and it was like watching a glacier move.
Shego batted her eyelashes up at the massive man, suddenly radiating virtue and naiveté. "He did it." She said bluntly, pointing at Drakken.

Goku: "Hey Gohan!"
Gohan as a giant monkey: "Hr?"
Goku: "Remember Icarus?"
*Gohan's pet baby dragon, Icarus, shown as a skeleton*
Goku: "He did it!" *points at Vegeta*
Vegeta: "What?" *is smashed*

Ahh, DBZ abridged...

What I read of this story (the prologue and most of Chapter One) was undeniably well-written. The spelling and grammar are good, the descriptions are vivid, and there's a general air of an author who knows what they're doing. It's rare to find a fanfiction that's driven by both love of the source matter and love of the written word, but this one certainly is.

However, I would be lying if I said it didn't rub me the wrong way. Now, I want to see Drakken in top health as much as the next fangirl, but I think he needs a girlfriend who will love him just the way he is a lot more than Shego needs a boyfriend who's not fat. And I certainly don't believe he deserves to be "shamed" for the cupcake incident, especially considering the only one he hurt was himself - and, judging by the noises his stomach was making, he was already suffering the consequences of that.

If these issues are addressed in later chapters, please forgive me for my premature judgment. Otherwise, I'd have to say this clearly isn't the story for me; still, I can't deny your skill as a writer. I wish you the best of luck with any and all future stories.

*sighs* aaaahhhhh so precious. great way to end the story! :D

*sighs happily* ohso precious.

i didn't see that coming at ALL. i was just happily reading along and suddenly- WAIT WAT?!

but i loved it 3

totally got that. hahaha XD i feel smart

It's also BRUCE lee not brad lee

Um love it, but it's CONAN the barbarian, not Conrad or whatever

I feel SO MUCH LOVE for your as a writer and this story. It is all too perfect and adorable and ugh, my babies are flawless. 3

I love it when she gets all protective of him, even in the show :) love it so far

This was sooooo adorably cute augh! You write these two so well, ahh :D Thanks for the awesome read!

I read the whole story over the course of two days and was amazed by the amount of detail you put into their thoughts and their emotions, always explaining in detail why they progressed and acted the way they did, which was very impressive. Great story.

Great story, but what does "don't look a gift horse in the mouth" mean anyway?

Yay plant powers! Oh and also kissy face. I like kissy face. *goofy grin*