|Reviews for Code Geass: Infinity|
| timothy.nguyen.73 chapter 2 . 2/27
The way shirley and lelouch finally meet was very strange and uncharacteristic. No offense but Lelouch should be baffled why shirley is still alive instead of saying "Shirley?" Also The Britiannian soldiers were wearing masks under Schniezel's order. Theres no way Shirley could have geass them. Plot holes xp
| shirleylulu chapter 8 . 6/28/2015
| shirleylulu chapter 2 . 6/28/2015
thanks a lot for this
| Akash Raj chapter 15 . 4/26/2013
Just the way I wanted it to end. I was disappointed when Shirley was turned in to a helpless love martyr. Though Shirley's personality is a lot different from the one in anime, I still enjoyed. And we really think alike. I wanted Kallen to go with Gino but have'nt seen anyone supporting it. But I also wished Rolo was there. Anyway this fanfic is more like One Piece than Death Note. There is'nt much Brain VS Brain. I also wanted Schneizel to be there. Anyway the ending is more happier than in the anime and I enjoyed it.
| Guest chapter 1 . 11/27/2012
AAhaha I wish this is how it really went. The fact that they kill alot of caracters that I liked made me angry. I stopped watching at R2 ep 15 because of this, they should've thought it through better.
| Guest chapter 15 . 11/26/2012
did this really happen ?
| 01RandomUsername10 chapter 14 . 6/23/2012
I have one word to describe this story: EPIC. This is defidently one of my fav stories of all time :)
| S.R.457 chapter 15 . 6/19/2012
Nice ending I wish all show had good endings... or at least more then one ending!
10 out of 10
| SwissChocolate17 chapter 1 . 6/12/2011
ShirleyxLulu 3 Awesome story!~
| ChiefRusty chapter 15 . 5/24/2011
This is how Code Geass should have ended. My only criticism is that there are quite a few grammar mistakes, though I can put that aside. I love the story. I find it refreshing to see a quality Lelouch/Shirley fanfic out there.
| RandomNumbers523156 chapter 15 . 4/27/2011
You have a nice story here, I just wish it could be longer. Although it's not as complex as other stories (if this were, it could easily become the Shinji and W40k of Code Geass), has some problems (they were addressed at ShadowCell's review) but it's a good reading.
First, I've always wanted to read a fic where Shirley survives and finally scores with Lelouch, but then I say: cool, we're gonna explore the origins of Geass, something they never explained in canon and then we stay "what's that", it goes from the military sci-fi to Final Fantasy RPG. But I like this, because Code Geass makes this kind of distinction weird. But, as I said, I liked it anyway, I just wanted to see more of Lloyd and Cecile in the final battle.
| bleachbabe03 chapter 15 . 4/12/2010
That waz awesome!
| ShadowCell chapter 15 . 9/26/2009
2) I like that you tried to flesh out that past civilization or whatever that was hinted to have built the Thought Elevators. I don't think it worked out so well when it was all said and done, though.
2.1) The common theme running between Lelouch, Schneizel, and Charles was that they all had competing visions of a new world. Charles wanted to return to the past and fuse humanity together with the Ragnarok Connection, turning back even death itself; Schneizel wanted to freeze the world in the present with the ever-present threat of Damocles; and Lelouch was willing to even kill himself so that the world could unite in its hatred of him and move towards the future. That common thread is totally lacking when the final villain is XX, a man who appears to want power simply for power's sake. Few if any characters in Code Geass wanted power purely for power's sake, and since all that's at stake is that a bloodthirsty demon wants to control the world, the final battle feels less important. It's just another irredeemably evil dude who wants nothing more than power for power's sake.
2.2) On a similar note, I don't know if you've watched Gundam 00, but the various new Immortals and XX and his minions all really reminded me of the Innovades from the second season of 00. The Innovators were lacking in much in the way of differentiating, unique characteristics. They were flat and one-dimensional, and their leader was at best one-and-a-half-dimensional. That's how I felt reading through XX and the Mythos and the other Code Bearers.
2.2.1) The problem with the Code Bearers, I think, is that only CC, GG, and XX received any sort of development. In fact, I'm not sure ZZ even had any lines, and AA was rather unimportant. They were pretty much just Code containers, and for all the importance attached to ZZ, I was expecting more to come of him than just getting picked up by XX and de-Coded.
2.2.2) Another problem, I think, is that you kept piling on increasingly powerful supernatural beings to make the story seem more epic in scope. Suddenly we went from Charles trying to bring about the Ragnarok Connection, to there being more than two Code Bearers, to there being this one Code Bearer who created Geass in the first place, to there being a whole army of supernatural creatures, to people trying to literally become God. It all became kind of silly and unbelievable after a while-at least for the scope of the world of Code Geass, where there were certainly supernatural forces at work in the world but what mattered to the story was how those powers were manipulated by human beings.
2.2.3) And that leads to a third problem. I really don't think the ending suits the world of Code Geass. Lelouch won his victory not through superior intellect, not through outwitting his enemy, but by brute strength and a bigger energy blast. It was like the ending of a battle from DBZ: whosoever can make the bigger energy blast shall be the victor. Which is great for DBZ, but not so great for Lelouch, because in R2 he defeated Schneizel by outsmarting him, but in this fanfic he defeated XX by making a bigger energy blast. It really feels out of place that the final battle should be a physical and not mental contest, because Lelouch was so physically unimpressive but mentally and intellectually formidable, and yet he had to use none of those skills in this final contest-and against the progenitor of Geass, the one whose power can affect the mind, as well. And that was part of what made XX so disappointing as a villain. It was like you wanted him to be a threat but couldn't think of an appropriate intellectual showdown for them, so you reverted to the easy answer and just have them fight each other with punches and kicks and big energy blasts.
2.2.4) And for that matter, I wish you had done more to characterize GG as something other than an albino CC. I don't have much to say about her, mainly because I've already talked about the problems she met with, and you didn't seem to have a whole lot to say about her either.
3) It is really difficult at times to tell who is talking, because you don't specify, and so I have to go back and count every other line to make sure. In addition to being really annoying, it breaks the flow of the story. This was especially difficult during the epilogue, where it's mostly just people talking, and I'm not entirely sure *who* those people are. I can understand how you might grow weary of using it often, and it isn't necessary to mark every quotation with a "_ said," but, well, suck it up and do it anyway. It makes reading the story much, much, much easier.
3.1) Kind of related to that is the random perspective jumps. It is very jarring, disorienting, and unnecessary. I don't see why you need to suddenly switch from third person omniscient perspective when Schneizel is talking to the Black Knights, to first person from Lelouch's perspective when the Black Knights try to kill him. Stick with one perspective-or, if you're going to change perspectives, do it consistently. In one chapter you take us to "Lelouch's POV" and it's written in the third person; in another chapter you take us to "Lelouch's POV" and it's written in the first person. Stay consistent.
4) Related to the dialogue, one of the most serious pitfalls I had when reading this is that you just write dialogue with some little chunks of narrative in between. The problem is that a story is not just talking heads having conversations and then the writer summarizes what happens in between. People react to what they speak, what they hear other people speak, or even to things not spoken at all. It seems like you really just wanted to write the dialogue of certain scenes and skipped straight to it. But you'll notice in the anime that they do much work animating and coloring and setting the atmosphere around the dialogue, because the dialogue is only one part of the story.
5) You don't do a whole lot of description. And description does not encompass just the appearances of characters' clothes and Knightmare Frames and locations. You have a lot more to describe: like, say, the characters' emotions, setting and background points, tones of voice, facial expressions, a great deal more description of locations. It's up to the reader to a certain extent to fill in details with imagination, but as the writer you should not be leaving important things (like, say, how the characters feel about all this stuff) up to the reader's imagination. Frankly, I think the best line of this story was the opening paragraph, where you seemed to understand that there's more to a story than moving talking heads from location to location, and had one of your best turns of phrase about the damage Geass was doing to Lelouch's soul. But that sort of thing became hard to find throughout the rest of the story.
5.1) One of the problems stemming from that is that you totally skip past some major scenes, just because, I guess, they were already animated and I guess you assume that we know what happens there already. That's a bad idea. Even if you have to retell parts of the Second Battle of Tokyo or the Black Knights turning on Lelouch, you have an opportunity to change those things, to tell them from a different perspective, to plant details that can come up later, to develop characters other than Lelouch and his posse, to flesh out the story and the world in which it occurs.
5.1.1) And stemming from that is a problem in which you totally skip through scenes we haven't seen already, which is even worse. For example, I really didn't feel any tension or any sense that the story was coming to a climax during the final battle, when everything is coming to a head and at the very least I should feel like everything is coming to a head. The way you skipped directly to "Nix's Battle" or "Jeremiah and Sayoko's Battle" was really inartful, as if you had remembered at the last minute that there were fights going on other than Lelouch and XX. But then there was almost no description of those fights, even though there should have been some emotional response on the part of, say, Jeremiah and Sayoko as they fight an evil force that has control of the body of dear little Nunnally who they know as peaceful and kind and gentle. And one would think as well that Suzaku and Shirley would've had at least some trouble fighting an enemy with the face of their mutual friend (sort of), Kallen Kozuki. For that matter, I don't see how Shirley could have been any use to them without a Knightmare. Even her ability to pilot a Knightmare was suspect, but where Suzaku had trained with Kyoshiro Tohdoh of all people and had military training, Shirley was a member of the swim team. That's...not the same.
6) I think it's very telling that you felt the need to clarify lots of things in author's notes. It's one thing to clear up something minor, like a typo from the last chapter or something. But if you basically have to summarize your entire plot so far, like you did at the end of chapter eleven, then that's a sign that something has gone wrong.
I know this fanfic has been done for a while and you've written stuff since then, which I have not read. And I do have more to say, but it may be redundant and I think this will suffice anyway. I think if you want to improve this story, it would benefit greatly from a much more careful and attentive rewrite. It will take much more time and much more work and you'll probably lose readers and get less reviews for it...but I guess that depends on what your priorities are. You can certainly make this story incredibly deep and interesting, but the key above everything else is effort, and I get the feeling that effort was lacking a lot throughout this story.
| ShadowCell chapter 14 . 9/26/2009
1.3) The Black Knights felt even more stilted and stunted here than they did in the show. One of Schneizel's biggest trump cards was revealing Zero's identity as a former Britannian prince, which gave the Black Knights that much more reason to distrust him. In this fanfic, Zero revealed his identity to them himself, and...they just went along with it? Really? We had Chiba over there glaring at him at every opportunity, and Asahina questioning other Black Knights about him, and Ohgi questioning him, and everyone suspicious of new members like Rolo and Jeremiah, and they follow him anyway? Even if they didn't know about the Geass, why would they go along with him knowing that he's a Britannian prince? Previously they didn't even know that much and they were still getting suspicious.
1.3.2) Part of that problem, I suppose, comes from how you spent no time at all on the Black Knights. In fact, you spent no time at all on any character other than Lelouch and his posse and whoever the villain happened to be. I know that the main characters are Lelouch and Shirley and the ones loyal to them, but I don't really think it would have hurt to offer some character development for the Black Knights (and, for that matter, other characters like Gino and Anya and Cornelia). Had you done that, you could have come up with an explanation for why they turned on Lelouch even with knowing his identity-or, for that matter, why they decided to follow him despite his identity. But it's like you forgot that all these characters existed.
1.4) I really had a hard time with Suzaku. One of the most important parts of his character in R2 is that he hates Zero-he hates Zero so much that he almost *becomes* Zero and tries to achieve his goals through the same trickery and deceit Zero uses. That's a lotta hate. And even though they ultimately put that aside to fulfill the Zero Requiem and Suzaku did shed tears for Lelouch at the end, that was at the end of a long journey. This fanfic does not reflect that at all. It's as if Lelouch and Suzaku go back to being buddies like in the early parts of season 1, even though Lelouch killed Euphemia, even though Suzaku dragged Lelouch before the Emperor to get his memories altered in exchange for a spot in the Rounds. They cannot go back to just being buddies after all that. Too much has transpired between them and by now they are men, and there is an important difference-a difference that seemed to me to go completely unnoticed in this fanfic. I don't see how they can go back to being buddies, but more importantly, you didn't really explain how they did anyways.
1.4.2) Speaking thus, I'm not opposed to the idea of CC and Suzaku forming a rapport. They do have at least one thing in common. But it seemed to me that you were trying to construct a romantic relationship between them, and, well, I just can't buy that. There's no basis for it. Lelouch and CC have the entire first season and, by the time this fanfic starts, a good half of the second behind them. They have a history and a complex relationship together, and although it gets warped pretty quickly when CC loses her memories, it gets back on track where it used to be once she gets her memories back. I don't understand why Suzaku would have so much reason to get closer to CC than Lelouch-especially when CC is the one who gave Lelouch his power, the one who understands him, his loyal accomplice who stood by his side since the beginning.
) Speaking thus, I don't think it was a good idea to let the relationship between CC and Lelouch atrophy the way this fanfic did. Even if Shirley is ultimately the one for whom Lelouch had romantic feelings, there are many different forms of love and no matter what you call his relationship with CC, it's undeniably important. He trusts her with his deepest, darkest secrets. He got his power from her. She is pretty much the only character who can deal with Lelouch as an equal. I can't really see her scampering off to let Lelouch and Shirley make out while she goes and makes out with Suzaku. That would require her to abandon some thirty or forty episodes' worth of building their relationship.
1.5) Other characters really got the short shrift here too, I think as a result of the almost completely exclusive focus on Lelouch and his posse.
1.5.1) I really think Rolo should have been way, way more important to this story than he actually was. He was, y'know, the guy who actually killed Shirley, and by all means he should have tried again when he discovered that she was alive. I guess you had to let her "die" in order to meet GG and obtain a Geass, but that doesn't mean Rolo had to tolerate her the way he did-or, for that matter, to eventually decide to spare her and send her back to protect Lelouch in his stead. Even to the very end, Rolo was convinced that he and he alone knew everything about Lelouch, that he and he alone was the one person who truly understood Lelouch and saw through his masks. Those were his dying words, after all. I didn't feel convinced that he ultimately saw past all that and decided to entrust his beloved brother's care to Shirley.
1.5.2) Nunnally is another important character who got the short shrift. Part of that, I suppose, is due to her getting the short shrift in R2, but shouldn't she be way more conflicted about her brother than she appeared in this fanfic? What does she think of all this? What is she up to? It's like for the duration of this fanfic, she exists to talk to Schneizel on the other side of a phone and then gets possessed by Nemo. One would think her reappearance would hit Lelouch like a ton of bricks, that confronting her would be one of the most important things he has to do in the story-like it was in R2. She was his entire motivation for most of the show, so I really think it was a bad idea to shunt her off to the side like this.
1.5.3) I don't think having Schneizel get possessed by an evil demon thing really did justice to his character. He was supposed to be the one guy that Lelouch had never beaten, but he got overwritten by a sort of flat and boring demigod (about whom I have more to say later). Certainly, XX made almost no use of Schneizel's talents. Perhaps instead of possession, you could have had XX give Schneizel a Geass power, with which he could then retain his own individual agency and pose a threat to Lelouch and his plans.
1.5.4) I do like the idea you had that Jeremiah would break with Lelouch over Marianne's death. I don't think you executed it so well. For one, I don't think Jeremiah would so quickly fly into a rage at Lelouch after swearing loyalty to him. He would be dubious, he would be upset, he'd want answers...but I think he would allow Lelouch to provide them. And I can certainly see how he might be disillusioned if it turns out that the great Empress Marianne to whom he swore unswerving loyalty was really not worthy of that loyalty, and I really don't understand how he managed to get back to being loyal to Lelouch. Perhaps you could have smoothed that all out by having Jeremiah present for the conversation in C's World, so he could see for himself that Marianne didn't care about her kids-and from there, you could go all sorts of different ways with his character.
1.6) Tying back into the problem of the Black Knights being AWOL, where the heck was Kallen? I mean, I think after she fried Luciano, the next time she appeared at all was when she got possessed, and, well, what? Kallen is a very important character too.
1.7) And tying into the above, I may just be speculating and assuming here, but perhaps the problem with the character focus in this fanfic is that you were thinking of the characters in terms of romantic pairings. Unless you are writing specifically about a romantic relationship and know what you're doing, this thinking is toxic to writing, especially writing fanfiction; and the result of it is pretty much everything I just said above. Perhaps the problem was that when you decided that Lelouch and Shirley were "the pairing," the other female characters who had feelings for Lelouch got shunted to the side, because they were not part of "the pairing." CC lucked out and got paired up with Suzaku, but Kallen got completely forgotten. The cure for this, although perhaps difficult, is to start thinking of romantic relationships in stories like this as not important in and of themselves, but as important only as elements of the larger question of character relationships and plot as a whole. I know fandoms encourage this thinking, to the point where you can filter fanfics according to pairing, but you will write far more insightful, far more detailed, far better stories if you can free yourself of it. In a story like this, a romantic pairing is simply one more tool of character development. It is not the end-all-be-all, it is not really something by which to classify your story, it is really just one piece. And while you should strive to write that piece well, you should strive to write all the other pieces well too.
| ShadowCell chapter 13 . 9/26/2009
I think there's a very big problem with this story.
It seems to me like you want to skip past lots of important elements of storytelling, to get straight to the parts you most want to write. This leads to a lot of related problems. I'm just going to go through them all briefly, in no particular order. I'll break this up into parts since I have more to say than the character limit for a single review will allow. Please bear in mind that there is a difference between criticizing you and criticizing your story. I am doing the latter, not the former.
1) The characters were, shall we say, problematic. Some subpoints:
1.1) Shirley Fenette did not really strike me as anything like the Shirley Fenette from the anime. I can totally appreciate the idea of giving Shirley the opportunity to make good on her promise to be "something true" for Lelouch. I can't quite appreciate the idea of basically turning her into Lelouch. One of the things that struck me about her declaration that she was going to "be true" for Lelouch is that she had no idea what she was getting into. That was partly why he kept pushing her away throughout the series; the stuff he was doing was simply way too difficult for her to accept. She really was in a different world from him; she was just a girl who totally had the hots for her classmate Lelouch, and when Mao dragged her into Lelouch's world in season 1, she was panicked and terrified and almost shot him, and he had to Geass away her memories of him to stop the metaphorical bleeding. If you take a character like Shirley, who exists in a world that more or less ends at the gates of Ashford Academy, and dump her into the entirely different world of a character like Lelouch, of grand strategies and Knightmare Frames and generals and armies, then I think it's reasonable for I, the reader, to expect her to have a difficult transition. Even if you don't have her joining the Black Knights or whatever, she's still entering an entirely different world. Lulu, the boy she likes who tries to inject some sanity into Milly's crazy ideas, is not the same as Lelouch/Zero, the exiled prince slash masked revolutionary who schemes to destroy Britannia. This fanfic really did not reflect that difference well. It was like once she got her Geass, she suddenly existed on Lelouch's level. Maybe that's a destination for her character, but for her to suddenly understand Lelouch on his level in chapter two is way too much way too fast. Shirley was not a genius.
1.1.1) To expand on that last point, I think you really missed an opportunity to explore Lelouch and Shirley's relationship by basically putting Shirley on Lelouch's level with her Geass. She declared in the show that she wanted to be "something true" for Lelouch. Well, that is a pretty big thing, to be "something true" for a guy who wears so many masks and tells so many lies. I, for one, would have been really interested to see Shirley and her reactions and feelings as she descends into Lelouch's world and watches her beloved Lulu overthrow governments and direct armies and scheme and plot. You could have gone lots of places with that. One suggestion (but this is only one) is that you could have Shirley metaphorically sorting through Lelouch's masks and trying to find the real Lelouch-and, in the process, coming to a much greater appreciation for the man she loves. That would make their relationship much more complex and much deeper, but it would also be way, way more interesting.
1.1.2) Speaking of the Geass, I really don't think it was a good idea to give Shirley a Geass. One of the major points of Code Geass is that in return for the Power of the King (and an obnoxious immortal hanging out with you), your life slowly goes to hell. Case in point is Lelouch: because of the Geass, he winds up losing his army, his sister, his best friend, his minions, his other friends, and (temporarily) his immortal pizza-loving witch. And ultimately, as the price to pay for using his Geass, he even lost his life and his good name. In contrast, what price did Shirley pay for her Geass? Part of the problem is that she very rarely used it (and when she did, it sounded like a Geass version of Ghost Rider's Penance Stare or something), but use it she still did. Every major character who had a Geass power wound up turning into a lonely wreck. It got CC turned into a bored and miserable immortal, it left Rolo detached from his own humanity, it cost Lelouch ultimately everything. Meanwhile, what did Shirley get? She marries her beloved Lulu and has a family and all her friends around her. Again, I can understand the desire for a happy ending, but it makes all that talk about how "the Power of the King will make you lonely" seem very empty.
1.1.3) I'm not on principle opposed to the idea of taking a character like Shirley and ultimately making her, say, a Knightmare pilot or a Black Knight. But if you're going to do that, then there is a process that you have to show, because Shirley Fenette as she is when she decides to be "something true" for Lelouch cannot be more different from the Shirley Fenette you present in, like, chapter three. Like I said above, Shirley lives in a different world from Lelouch, and if she's going to join the world of Knightmare pilots and grand strategies, she has to make a big transition. There was no transition here. I can deal with the idea of Shirley eventually piloting a Knightmare Frame, as long as you make it clear that she's starting from scratch and has to work her way up to being a competent pilot; and as long as you make it clear that she's a total newcomer to Lelouch's world of politics and military strategy, populated by characters like Tohdoh and Diethard and Xingke-all far, far away from anything like Ashford Academy. So I really think you should have spent way, way, way more time on the transition she has to make from being a schoolgirl to being a subordinate of Zero in the Black Knights (or at least, the transition from school to watching her beloved plot strategies and direct armies). And I think you should have at the very least had Shirley work her way up to being a competent Knightmare pilot. Perhaps it might have been better to try to work Shirley directly into the Black Knights, where she could at least plausibly get some training before using the Shinkirou to protect Lelouch. Rolo was a great Knightmare pilot and even he had a hard time with it, so I find it really hard to believe that Shirley could handle it too.
1.2) Lelouch, for that matter, strikes me as something of a caricature of how he appeared in the show. Lelouch vi Britannia was, if nothing else, *disciplined*. The guy threw away everything he had and loved in the world in order to achieve the Zero Requiem, and indeed, the arc of Code Geass's story was that ultimately Lelouch had to atone for the sins he committed throughout the show. I can understand the desire to give Lelouch a happier ending than what he got in the show, but this seems like it was way over the top. One of the problems, I think, goes back to the problem of discipline. Lelouch was willing to throw everything away to achieve his goal. If Shirley hadn't died, I'm sure he would've thrown her aside too (for her own good, of course, but he wouldn't tell her that at the time). Not just told her to stay behind and let him do the fighting, but he would've convinced her that he really was just and evil power-hungry tyrant. In this fanfic, he's not at all willing to do that. He's willing to tell them to stay behind and let him do the fighting, but in the show he was willing to go so far as to get Nunnally to curse his name as he walks away. There is a huge difference, that difference is fundamental to his character, and it really doesn't appear in this fanfic.
1.2.1) Which ties into the above point about how one must pay a price for one's Geass, and the problem I have with the sheer happiness of the ending. The Zero Requiem in the TV show ultimately functioned as Lelouch's atonement for his sins, and, well, he undeniably sinned. Not all of those sins are erased by this fanfic, and his "atonement" for them is a nice happy life with Shirley and a baby, surrounded by all his friends in an awesome peaceful world. There is a disconnect there.
1.2.2) Another problem I had with this story was that Lelouch's genius seems to be completely absent. The example that sticks out the most in my mind is how his meeting with the Black Knights goes towards the end, with wannabe gods and supernatural supersoldiers rampaging around the battlefield. If I read that all correctly, Lelouch had no Britannian troops under his command left, the Black Knights were the only army left, and they were all up against a demigod. I really have a hard time seeing the same Lelouch as going into that meeting, getting pissed at all the Black Knights for not trusting him, and then storming out without accomplishing anything. Lelouch vi Britannia does not pass up opportunities. This is the same guy who managed to anticipate what Schneizel would say in a conversation, record his end of the conversation, and then distract Schneizel with it while working his way up into the shuttle. I really can't reconcile these two depictions, and the Lelouch of this fanfic seems rather intellectually neutered.