|Reviews for The Doctor and Rose go to butlins|
| DracoMalfoyILove chapter 2 . 11/1/2008
Ok, my friend said you're a gd writer, i don't think you thaat gd, but you're getting better i would say
“Oh!” “Ok I will go and earn some Roman coins and come back ok?”
that should be
"Oh! Ok I will go and earn some roman coins and come back, ok?"
on and there not called roman coins there called serssterzess something like that.
and 70 isn't that much unless it's gold coins then that is alot for a blue box and what the hell is:
that is not a roman name lucus is but the rest is like a baby typed it no offence i'm not calling you a baby or anything.
and you've copyed this a little from fire's of pomeii
| Sunfall E chapter 1 . 10/30/2008
Interesting story. A bit bizarre, though.
| just drifting chapter 1 . 8/13/2008
yeah okay, so well done. but it was way to short. like what? 200 words? and i agree with the other reviewer sorta, what happened? its hard to follow. it all happens so quickly. i thought they were going to butlins, but then they end up in pompei, then at that guys house and then someone enters and as rose says, its like 'what the hell is happening' but whatever, you're young and your writing will improve with practice so keep going, just try to keep it so its understandable and at least, 500 words
| StrawberryFish92 chapter 1 . 8/11/2008
I think the phrase: 'What the hell?'(Rose's last line)sums up this chapter nicely.
Did you read this through before you posted it? I have no idea what's meant to be going on, its so jumbled and disjointed; at one point they're off to a holiday resort, the next they're stuck in Pompeii with Vesuvius about to erupt and the TARDIS suddenly disappeared? I repeat: 'What the hell?'
I'm sorry for the criticism, but I think you need to think this through again.
Oh and why did you give yourself a review? Bit weird isn't it?