Reviews for Hogwarts: A Story
Guest chapter 20 . 6/20/2014
This isn't adventure/romance. It's a romance-tragedy!
Guest chapter 20 . 6/20/2014
I think I might start crying. I felt numb, I guess with shock, about the ending. Oh, here comes the tears. Why?! I hate you. Amazing till the end. Hate the end. Crying now.
Forbidden Moons chapter 2 . 8/4/2013
Oh hell!
Forbidden Moons chapter 1 . 8/4/2013
Ok... Hope she's in Slytherin!
aliceAmnesia chapter 20 . 10/28/2011
heres my deal, i was sooo sad when it ended sadly for almost eveyone ..

if you should re-write, have a happy ending for severus/leanne

tbh the last chapter killed it for me cuz i was expecting a happy ending..
Erudessa-gabrielle chapter 20 . 1/29/2011
That was one crazy story

It was also pretty good
slytherinslut13 chapter 20 . 5/28/2010
wait... wait... what? It just ended? hmm... yeah, dunno how I feel about that. Maybe if you ever do a revision of this, have Leanne captured by Voldy-poo, and not have her die. Snape can be the amazing hero then, oui?

Just an idea...
Ferdinand Sutcliff chapter 20 . 1/2/2010
I enjoyed the story, did not enjoy at the start when Snape was thinking 'erotic' thoughts, as she was eleven. That is wrong. And the end was sad. Too brief, with minimal conclusion.

Otherwise. A brilliant read. Fun, and entertaining. :)

Thankyou! Keep writing!
Vulpine Vixi chapter 20 . 4/17/2009
Hello there

Well, overall this fic was good.

Some things that could be addressed if you decide to re-write it:

1. Check for consistency- one one occasional Leanne was referred to as Lexi.

2. Avoid copying directly from the books, like you did within the first few chapters. Hugh chunks of it were verbatim. It is lazy and annoys people. It shows no originality.

3. work on your describing skills- you rush through quite a bit giving no detail, and making it like an overview instead of bringing readers into the story (use more detail, use adjectives, think about the smaller things to create an atmosphere)

4. Work on your pacing- similar to the previous point, you rushed through many details which felt lazy and like you didn't care about your characters or their journey. Try spending a little more time and care on your characters and their situations by thinking about the pace of your story. You don't have to write about every little thing that happens, but when you summarize a large chunk of time you should do it with some careful thought about the words. It makes zipping through some boring times when nothing has happened more interesting, and less clumsy.

It's a shame about these few things because I really enjoyed the content of your story. It was enthralling and your characters were believable.
marauderluverz chapter 20 . 4/13/2009
I enjoyed the story even though I had a sort of hard time following it sometimes. I have to say that I don't really care for the ending. But oh well. If you felt it wasn't going the way you wanted I guess it is best to simply end it. I'm glad you didn't abandon it though! Great job on the story!

-marauderluverz
The Fictionist Aura chapter 20 . 4/10/2009
Wow, that was a great story, well minus the ending, no one wants them to die but it was a surprise so I liked it. You know how to hook a reader, don't you? Anyways, what I really wanted to say is that you actually kept Severus in character, something that is really hard (well for me at least) Congrats on a great story! Keep writing. :)
LittleReporterGirl chapter 1 . 4/9/2009
I read all of your story. I loved it, but the ending made me sad. :( I read it because I have a Harry Potter fanfic starring Voldemort's daughter as well (but there's only one and u don't find out until later). My story is incomplete, though, it's gonna go through all 7 of the books. You should read it if you get the chance...it's kinda long though. 230 pages typed so far. lolz. Still, I'd love it if you review.

ttyl,

Vampyre
DarkeAngel10 chapter 19 . 1/22/2009
OMG yay! can't wait to see what happens nxt! OMG this is so awesome!
marauderluverz chapter 19 . 12/6/2008
Adorable and AWESOME! Great job. But there are some spelling errors: "wandering" should be spelt "wondering". ANd maybe just another proof reading could help. :D 10/10
marauderluverz chapter 18 . 10/4/2008
Wow. This was a really good chap. I'm glad you updated again. :D I feel so sorry for Leanne. :( Also, I'm writing another story. It's called "My Name Is Ivy" and I'd really love it if you read it and reviewed. Plz. Thanx. Plz update soon. 10/10
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