Reviews for Putting Out The Fire With Gasoline
The General G of K chapter 1 . 5/2/2009
"There were no screams. There was no time."

Oh, Jack. Is there nowhere you won't go? Is there nothing you can't write? This was poetical, horrific, and slightly poignant toward the end. I could literally *hear* Jim's voice cracking as he started with "Myth..." Somehow the Office section feels a bit more dull since your departure. I miss quality, hilarious stories that I could count on for spot on characterization. Another class act, my friend.

The General
Shaneener chapter 1 . 8/12/2008
Wonderful. Pure gold.

I think Dwight would want to go out that way. With a silent scream and several dozen high-pitched meows.

And the Star Trek thing was right on.

Thanks for coming back. If only for awhile.
Clio195 chapter 1 . 8/11/2008
wow, i was laughing the entire time. but don't you think dwight could use his purple-belt skills to take out the cats? ;] great story
Alex Wert chapter 1 . 8/11/2008
You certainly work fast. Want to write my thesis for me? Wait... I want to successfully defend, so that would probably be a bad idea.

I always thought that when the time came, I'd like to be dumped in a ditch for the wolves, but now that you mention it, I want the Wrath of Khan funeral instead.

But this fic shows in brutal fashion why cats are evil. More people need to know this. For the continued safety of the human race.
J'aime ma vie chapter 1 . 8/11/2008
This was so funny. I espescially loved the entire funeral scene and the quote, "Jim gently rested a hand on the makeshift replica Star Trek torpedo that housed as much of Dwight as could be salvaged." That made me laugh so hard. And Cousin Mose playing "Doctor Feelgood" on the recorder only made it better. Nice work, pal :)
JAMonMyToast chapter 1 . 8/11/2008
Haha. Hilarious. I seriously love your work. You shouldn't have ever retired.
Moony44 chapter 1 . 8/11/2008
Wow, that was... wow.

It's so refreshing to see another one of your stories. This one is so wild!

I loved this line: 'He didn't enjoying keeping his nocturnal activities a secret, but Angela had made her thoughts on the subject more than clear and, besides, he found that keeping his beloved in the dark on this matter gave the whole thing an added thrill.'

That was brilliant. It was short and sweet and very clever. It was only a matter of time until Angela's cats lost it. Killed by his lover's cats. What a way to go.
Cousin Mose chapter 1 . 8/11/2008
Jack, I feel indeed like there's been a rift in the space/time continuum, but a welcome one. Who could have predicted that after such a long dry spell, we all would post new work within a few days of each other? I have a feeling even Nostradamus would have been scratching his head at this one.

If this is a capstone on your oeuvre, it's a magnificent one. You've managed to pack so many tidbits of brilliance into such a small space, I feel like I need to read this a few more times in order to really capture the flavor.

Some people might look at this piece and think "Wow, that Jack has a weird thing about cats," but those of us who know you know that you've simply been trying to warn the world of the horrible obviousness of it all-that all cats can and will eventually turn on us in an orgy of blood and carnage. When, oh when, will we learn?

Hilariously brilliant, alternately poignant, and thoroughly satisfying, this little fic scratched me right where I didn't even realize I was itching.

Bravo, my friend, and thank you for taking one last trip.

Mose
ktface3 chapter 1 . 8/11/2008
Good sweet lord, I am shaking from laughter! You had me at "though she'd gone through with her marriage to Andy, he was safely in the hospital clinging to life" (which absolutely would've been soured by an explanation of why), and it only got better and better from there. The entire funeral scene was sidesplitting, and just when I thought it was the best it could be, you make his coffin a replica of a Star Trek torpedo and make Mose play Dr. Feelgood on his recorder. Genius! Welcome back!
Bears Eat Beets chapter 1 . 8/11/2008
oh boy.

that, good sir, is a fine note to go out on. (but please, please, don't do that to those few of us that deserve and crave better than...so much of this.)

loved all the callbacks, and i too think dwight would be proud to go out like this.

and it's sentences like this: "The awkward silence was so palpable it actually signed the guestbook and left an email address," that - to call back my first letter to you - make me glad the matches are too far away for me to set this laptop ablaze.

welcome back. happy trails. and thanks.