Reviews for Eclipsed
Q chapter 9 . 4/21/2012
Distasteful
AK2FANFICTION chapter 9 . 1/3/2012
I didn't know that Sutichay was named John, Mary, and Mary :P She is the one who is paving the way (John) and is therefore important to Mew, is the mother of the savior (Mary), and is about to be judged for the prostitute she was (the traditional Catholic portrayal of the Magdalene). :P MANY roles for just one woman!

It's to bad her Joseph is not aware of the significance of the pregnancy. Why didn't a Gabrielle visit him to tell of the importance of the baby to come? Why did the execution get so close to happening?

Well, I feel Mew should have spared our heroine the stress, nightmares, and near death experiences associated with this pregnancy, but im glad that she HAS decided to act now. Opening the sky at night with light was epic, and so was the lightning? Will our Joseph now be judged or killed? Will our Sadducee/Pharisee? What of the entire village which condemned this poor woman to death? Will our heroine plead for them? Will they all gather around and protect this mother from the potential danger of Mewtwo, now that Mew has shown that she and her baby are favored by the forces of light?

Even deeper: will Mewtwo even come down on the side AGAINST the Liberator? Which deities exactly are the humans being liberated from? Shaymin sounds kind and beneficial to humanity, while Mew is a loving mother. Are Cresselia, Mewtwo, and Darkrai the oddballs of the gods? Or is it Mew and a few others who are the odd ones out?

How many others may have come before this "final Messiah"?
AK2FANFICTION chapter 8 . 1/3/2012
Much needed chapter. Very straightforwardly: it was very funny, and brought light to a beautiful but someone dark story as of so far. Keep these light moments in the story! It's interesting to see a childish side to a character on one hand who is a dark Freddy, and his sister who seems to have no joy in her body whatsoever. Also great to see that Natsume still has some humanity remaining in her after being treated like an Eva Braun... you may not have seen it when you wrote it, but you just gave her a BIG character development role in that process...
AK2FANFICTION chapter 7 . 1/3/2012
The Shaman just showed that he is more than a medicine man and event leader, he is also a fanatic who will call someone "Qhencha" even when there is no evidence. Is this dude simply an uptight sinner, or someone who wishes to be the best priest he can be for the various deities? Keep this guy alive for a little longer, he will make an ideal villain or perhaps unexpected/changed ally...
AK2FANFICTION chapter 6 . 1/3/2012
I like the Greek mythological references a lot! Cressalia is able to transform into a human form, and she knows of the upcoming downfall of the gods. Interesting that you add the Christian idea of the Liberator bonding with a specific deity (Son to Father). Will the age of Mew see a deity reaching out to a human to end the tyranny of Mewtwo, who cleansed the earth? Darkrai, who haunts the dreams of mankind?

I wonder how the other Legendary Pokemon feel about this? It's cool how it's not a simple Herculian thing of overthrowing Zeus, as Mew seems to WANT the Liberator to be born, as I said above.

Why must Mewtwo have to figure out if he this involves him or if he must interfere if Cresselia knows the prophecy and therefore the answer? Sneaky lady... What is Mewtwo's concern over Mews' reign, did they not truly make-up at the end of MSB? Is Mewtwo truly insecure about being a "demi-god" when he already found the value of simply being a living being of worth? Is Mewtwo therefore turning into the dark and power-hungry being that Giovanni only dreamed of controlling?

2012 is predicable, but hey, maybe you can release the chapter of the character's birth or assent to Liberator near that real date!
AK2FANFICTION chapter 5 . 1/3/2012
I liked the Peyote-type of healing in this chapter. Sutichay was one with the universe for a while and used her third eye to see Pokemon which she had never seen with her natural two eyes. Cool! The Shaman either has a gift or has been around forever (I see both) if he is able to so easily tell that our heroine is pregnant. Almost funny how he said so in a lackadaisical tone! I also enjoyed the talk about Shellder and her fascination with the natural wonders of the Pokemon world!
AK2FANFICTION chapter 4 . 1/3/2012
Great chapter! Katari is truly a very supportive husband, even in the face of what would appear to look like demonic possession! The sad fact that the demon in question is Darkrai- who is acting like Herod and going after the unborn Messiah in a clever way... by killing her mother in her dreams! Why does this Freddy

Krueger feel that Mew can't or won't protect Sutichay in her dreams though? Is Darkrai misinformed, or does he know of the limits to Mew's powers?

As for Mewtwo and Natsume's relationship issues... clearly Natsume is a needy girl and Mewtwo is the type of guy who feels he can show love by BUYING it and/or giving good sex. Emotions don't seem to flow well from him. Can he display what he feels? Or is it that he is shy/scared? Perhaps he is afraid to show his whole nature...
AK2FANFICTION chapter 3 . 1/3/2012
Interesting stage entrance for the village Shaman! This Pharisee/Sadducee who will ignore the will of Mew and throw the rock is also the cultural leader. What a stressful job!

It's great that Sutichay was able to "find a man this time", as staying single for any longer would eventually give away her profession away and even worse, her condition. Is the plan this point to lay the pregnancy on her soon to husband? Even if she is a few months into the pregnancy? Sutichay sure is bold/daring/smart! Why is it that she stayed single this long and had to resort to being a prostitute, when she was a pretty girl and could have relied on a husband? Did she know she had a calling? We will have to wait and see...

Mewtwo doesn't seem to have grown much since his two encounters with Satoshi, and why he felt the need to cleanse the earth (after Satoshi opened his eyes one time, and then saved him the second time) is beyond me. Going deeper, is Mewtwo, as a clone, incapable of feeling love for his mate? Is Mewtwo acting in rage, dating back from MSB, or does he know of a larger cosmic scheme? Will Natsume break free of this empty romance? Or will Mewtwo turn her back into a lifeless doll?
AK2FANFICTION chapter 2 . 1/2/2012
Actually, I found this chapter to be important, informative, and fascinating! Think of it this way, "filler" chapters are important for explaining the world, people, and formula of a story. Action is not always what's important. During this girl chat, we learn of the "Pilpintu Raymi", which represents culture, "Nina Onqoy", which is a completely made for this universe disease, and then we even get to meet PEOPLE! Taruca: the best friend, we hear of the misfit Maita (did you get the idea of killing Pidgey's from one of the lost Gospels?), and Cui: the village gossiper.

Girl-time can be VERY informative!

Just wondering if the legends of Mew being able to save the sick from death is supposed to be a Jesus influence or if it's supposed to be about a mother who nurtures her baby.

The reader wonders at this point if Mew will continue to keep Sutichay, the one "to be called", safe...
AK2FANFICTION chapter 1 . 1/2/2012
Very good start on what looks to be a promising story! I like the feel of a jungle for beginning the journey of your mind. It gives "Eclipsed" an Indiana Jones type of epic feeling. I think of "Raiders of the Lost Ark" with this beginning.

Referring to Mew as "The Lady of Light" is sheer brilliance. The reader is forced to think of the Madonna, and already views Mew as a maternal deity.

Mesprit, Azelf, and Uxie are interesting characters, but so much more when they are presented as siblings and deities! I wonder what Uxie's underlying hostility towards Sutichay is about? As a god of knowledge, he doesn't seem to be very wise when it comes to viewing people three-dimensionally. Prostitute does not equal horrible and evil villain who needs to be scolded for her very presence in a temple-after all, the god of knowledge IS aware that Sutichay comes as a repentant sinner, right? Maybe he fears the child that she carries...

... With that said, it's interesting that Mespirit is so understanding! I wonder why Azelf is being left in the dark?

Interesting that Sutichay is able to actually touch the alter of Mew! I wonder what it is that Mew see's in the yet to be born heroine? Why is it though that nobody dares speak the name of a Pokemon that is a loving and nurturing mother?

GREAT beginning! My questions are not criticism or challenges, but a fascination of the world you have set up!
WiseAbsol chapter 9 . 6/23/2010
So...my review for this chapter...is several months belated. Fortunately, I am experiencing a night of rain, and submitting the reviews I've been meaning to get to seems like an ideal way to pass the time. Better than playing solitaire, at any rate, as addictive as the card game is. So let's get to this, shall we?

So immediately we can sense trouble for Sutichay. The life stirring within her, while destined, nonetheless places her in a great deal of danger, partially from the expectations of the society around her, and partially from the lies she has spun to keep her daughter's conception - and the truth behind that conception – a secret. I'm not certain she had much of a choice but to lie, all facts considered, but still...the result will not be pleasant.

Hm? The Liberator will be a warrior? I knew the later two, but she will actually be trained in combat? Or so you mean a warrior in the social sense? I suppose we will see when the girl grows, but she promises to be epic. For now, however, she has yet to even be born. The implication that she was a child of rape...since her mother didn't choose to bear this life...well, as you said, her conception was messy.

And Katari is rather chilling in how he smiles, in his actions by the furnace. And she speaks the truth, finally...and it gets worse. I daresay she has the right to be afraid, and the disassociation episode proves...insightful, then terrifying as her mind struggles to reawaken her. And now...she's caught. What happens next squicks me out like FGM does, and the apprentice needs to get struck down by lightning as far as I'm concerned. Like he'd know what Mew wants - she blessed Sutichay, didn't she? Agh, at least Suichay can speak fighting words; she’s so much wiser than they are. And things continue to get worse...she's fighting but they hold her still...and the legendaries intervene to save her. Specifically, Mew does, and perhaps gives her a glimpse into what she knows and feels as an immortal.

LOL, Oh wow, did the apprentice get smote by lightning? Excellent! Oh, well, he nearly did. Azelf basically pwns him and the villagers, while a shocked Katari just stares at Sutichay in disbelief. And to think you might have been her Joseph, you carpenter of gold! Too bad now, the gods want you to have nothing more to do with her. Their version of Mary - both of the important ones - will remain without you, now that you have shown yourself to be a snake.

I'm interested in seeing where we go from here. It's been awhile since you updated this, and I am aching for more of "Playing God," but still...my love for this fic remains steady, despite knowing how you intend to torture me in later chapters.

At any rate, I hope your morning is going well, Meriah. Talk with you later.

Sincerely,

Abby
Xen Silver Quill chapter 9 . 2/15/2010
I was wondering when you would update this. I would like to say I really enjoy this story. Oh, and update soon because I want to Azelf's righteous anger and Arceus's Judgement!
TheWritingMustache chapter 9 . 1/28/2010
Very attention grabbing. Your chapters may be short, but the content is riveting. What will happen next,one wonders...
Emo Shaman chapter 9 . 1/14/2010
This was a very eventful and just plain DARK chapter. I love it! I like how you incorporated biblical references into the story, makes it more intense really. Katari really flipped his lid and revealed his true self in this chapter, and he's quite the douchebag. LOL Interesting how Mew ended up saving Sutichay, allowing for the birth of the 'Liberator' to still occur. I'm really looking forward to the next chapter, great work Valerie!
Lixie Lorn chapter 9 . 1/14/2010
:O

AWESOME CHAPTER.

Felix Lorn of CRITIC, also known as General Everin Stormclaw of the Many Titles, High Priest of the Crazy Hand, Master of the Emerald Stars and Acolyte of the New Chu Order, Dragon Prince and the Sixth Sutakage, Bearer of the Prophecy and the Moonrider, Commander of the Blood Talons and the Last Hairlander, S/He Who Knows and Servant To That Which Waits, Senshi of the Many Moons and Sailor Elara, Scion of Bramimond and He Who Lulz With Cats, The Kinetic Impact and the Red Fist, the Ninja Hippo out.
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