|Reviews for Model Behavior|
| Cloud Reflection chapter 10 . 7/22
X] I am so happy you are back! I really enjoyed this chapter (as usual) and and I'm excited for the coming chapters too! I think you are really great at depicting Hikari and her emotions! X3
It sucks that the people in your Creative Writing class weren't helpful in your endeavor in writing. u.u Anyways, have a good day and congrats on finishing college! .
| Birdlover123 chapter 10 . 7/20
Wow another great chapter! I love this story so much and I'm so glad you're back!
I honestly can't believe the lack of respect you got in your creative writing class! It's awful when people put restrictions on you! As an author you should be allowed to write what you want (of course there are some things are not good but that's not relevant right now xD ). That's why it is called creative writing! Everyone has a different style and it's not fair being forced into a particular way of writing. If everyone wrote the same there would be no unique stories! People wouldn't be allowed to have favourite authors anymore! Sorry, I'm really angry that you got treated so bad! Because honestly, you're writing is great! I'm happy to know that you still are embracing your passion! And I think the key thing to remember is that a lot of well known published authors were turned down a lot to begin with and then someone gave them a chance! Just don't let anyone get you down because there are people out there who appreciate and love your writing style!
And back to the story, I feel so bad for Hikari! She's falling apart inside and has no-one to confide in. I really hope that her and Shinji start making those closer steps soon so she has someone to help her. Because honestly her Pokemon can only help so much.
Anyway great chapter and it's wonderful to have you back!
| Muskavin chapter 10 . 7/7
I read the whole fanfiction in one sitting! Glad to see you're writing again, and it's a shame those in your Creative Writing class were so disrespectful. Please, we all LOVE your writing even if they couldn't. I'm looking forward to your next update!
| Tri17 chapter 10 . 7/2
So, I think this is the first review I've given in about 3 years. But I finally logged into my account just to post this because I was so angry at what happened to you in your college class. The overall pretentiousness of that entire class is disgusting- how all those students thought they were better than you and then ridiculed you for having a different writing style (because I would argue that having a flair for dramatic writing is a personal style that makes your writing unique and thus should be utilized and fine-tuned to become better, not squashed out because it doesn't fit their idea of what makes a good writer). However, I have to commend you for taking the class in the first place. I'm going into my final semester of college and I never took a creative writing class despite how much I love writing. I was always too scared to share my work with others and, quite honestly, to face the sort of experience you received- I never wanted to have someone tell me my writing style isn't good enough or something; and, honestly, I never wanted to be forced to change how I write to fit some sort of "model". But you are far more courageous than I and please remember that- that you were incredibly brave and strong throughout that experience to share your writing and then keep writing now after what had happened. I love writing. But if I had faced that, I don't know if I would be able to write again, either. What that class did to you is disgusting and appalling. The professor is also horrendously at fault for ever allowing a class atmosphere like that; it didn't encourage learning, it encouraged bullying. While I'm sure it is too late to report the situation to any sort of academic authority, it may not be too late to drop a review on RateMyProfessor just to save some other potential students the fate of experiencing what you went through. I'm so happy that the professor in Italy encouraged you to write again. It would be a shame to lose your gift; truly, you are a great writer.
Now, onto the actual story and review. I re-read this entire story just to get a feel for everything again and reading it all in one go, I really saw your growth over time. At one point, I think you mentioned you started this story when you were in eighth grade. Your growth over these chapters and years has been amazing to read. I've definitely seen so much more depth and characterization in the past few chapters (I think around the time Takeo was introduced) then when comparing it to the first several chapters. As a writer myself, I think one of the best feelings is seeing how I've grown in my writing. I just want to tell you that you've improved leaps and bounds over the course of this story. The direction has seemed to turn beautifully dark, with a lot of serious undertones interwoven perfectly with the lighthearted and humorous interactions. This last chapter, in particular, was extremely emotional. Dawn's entire interaction with Empoleon and her Pokemon got to me. The buildup and almost roller-coaster-like mood was so much fun as a reader to follow. Dawn is having a good time with her Lopunny, things get taken too far, she's already unstable and reaching her wit's end, and she just snaps and is no longer messing around. Recalling her Pokemon seems like such a simple act but it was so powerful and such a clear betrayal. With her emotions running high, I'm very curious to see how her interaction with Shinji goes in the next chapter, especially considering that she dropped out of the shoot that he so desperately needed.
All in all, I love the direction the story is heading. I feel like there is so much more to explore to supermodel Dawn when there are all these new aspects mixed in with her- her mother dead, her abusive (possibly rapist?) ex-boyfriend who is too powerful to take down, her emotionally vulnerable state that leads to purging (which she seems to have a history of), and now added with this idea that she may manipulate a volatile Shinji into a relationship just to get revenge on her ex. Of course, that is if Shinji would actually stop being a complete a-hole for five minutes and actually have a decent conversation with Hikari. Though, with the ending of this chapter, I was reasonably shocked that Shinji actually willingly claimed Hikari was with him and even showed up (I was definitely expecting her to be stood up lol).
All in all, I'm excited for what is in store with this story and I'm so happy you've found the desire to write again. I feel like the best type of writing comes when you enjoy what you're writing and that it makes you feel good to write it. So screw what all those people said to you in that class because you're a fine writer, and looking at the favorites and follows for this story, nearly 200 other people would agree with me. Oh, and congratulations on graduating college! It's gotta feel great being done with it (unless you're heading on to grad school, in which case, bless your soul and good luck)
| Ai Star chapter 10 . 7/1
Uh oh what's going to happen?
| Alannah chapter 10 . 7/1
I loved reading this story along with the others that you loving wrote, and when you went on hiatus I was sad but understood that it wouldn't be fair to force someone to write what they were not interested in. That authors note last year made me really happy and I have been thinking about the next chapter at random times throughout the year. Then I got the email yesterday and I was anxious to open it because it might of been another authors note saying that you were leaving it forever. I'm mad that people told you that you weren't a good writer because it is better than several published authors! I will always affectionately notice the difference in slang like 'slay' and 'contour' when I reread this story (because I will). As it will show the years people have been patiently waiting, in good humour, for another chapter! :)
| G chapter 10 . 6/30
I finished reading the chapter and I was just as happy that the style didn't change too much. I'm so sorry that happened to you at your college. The drama was what I always loved about you. Hopefully you'll come back sooner than next summer for the next update? And for Lady Marmalade too? :)
| G chapter 10 . 6/30
Omfg. I haven't even read the chapter yet but I saw "Harvestgirl10" updated and I skipped a breath. I'm so excited. Oh my God LOL. Okay I'll read now hahahaha
| Tropicallight chapter 10 . 6/30
Wow! Dawn was so sad! This chapter was angst-y.
| Quartztar chapter 10 . 6/30
Oh my god I never thought you're going to continue this! Even if other people never recognise yor writing skills, thats where readers like us are here for! There are also a lot of fanfic writers that I love and even though u never updated after i finished reading the semi-last chapter for this, I never thought about unfollowing it because i truly like it. Keep up the good work :)
| Eeveecat chapter 10 . 6/29
Ah I'm so glad you're determined to keep at it, you must keep your head up! :-D Show to them how wrong they are, well unless you want to lol ANYWHO I'm eager to see what happens next, especially with the pokemon incident I hope it works out for Dawn! Maybe even a little talk about pokemon will realize to her just how important they are, I also love how Dawn has so many emotions and thoughts! Can't wait for the next chapter, good luck! 3
| nocloudypooh chapter 10 . 6/29
Oh you updated! My eyes literally popped when I woke up this morning and saw the update email. I'm finding this very intriguing as more details are revealed and was pleasantly surprised about the part on piplup/empoleon. I thought it might have been a glossed over fact but seems like it's not!
I'm sorry to hear about your experiences in the creative writing class. Firstly, I want to applaud you for your bravery in exposing yourself to the world by taking that class. Creativity is something I believe comes from inside, and it takes a great deal of courage to showcase that to the world and letting people associate with you (and not an online personna). Secondly, I'm sorry takes that that bravery resulted in a terrible experience. You are right, fellow creatives shouldn't criticise each other to the point of humiliation but it's unfortunately what the world is. I have a friend who's a musician. He doesn't have a music degree but he's good and is teaching at a music school for secondary school students but he's getting snubbed by other professional musicians, differentiated by just a certificate. It's terrible but he holds on it the belief that he isn't beneath them and does he best he can. I believe you can do it too and thank the lucky stars for that professor who saw your talent and gave you encouragement.
Leaving you with hugs, and looking forward to the next update
| Shadow Rosealine chapter 10 . 6/29
will you update the next chapter soon? Cuz i have been dying to know what happens next .
| StrawberryMints chapter 9 . 6/13
I love your writing so much! Please update when you can!
| Chi Kookies chapter 9 . 5/23
Please continue this story!