|Reviews for State of Mind|
| MuggleCreator chapter 1 . 7/14/2013
| ashl3yfor3v3r chapter 1 . 7/2/2013
Wow. This was just such a lovely piece that I had to review :) It's funny, I was scrolling through your works and for some reason this was just the first one I stopped at (I have actually never read about Gideon or Marlene) and I am so glad I did. This is just so beautiful and perfect; I wish I knew how to pick words like you do.
You depict Gideon's regret so perfectly, because he never says exactly what or how much went wrong, but he has such a powerful underlying regret for all that's happened. And I really love that Marlene is not just a memory, but a bit of a vague, out of focus memory in that she represents all that he regrets, and both Marlene and regret are intangible forces. The fact that her dress is one that another girl wore, that he doesn't exactly feel the weight of his arms, but "maybe remembers it" makes everything feel so close, but just out of reach.
The way you characterize Gideon and Marlene fits so well with the story. I like that Gideon is the one who seems to care about Marlene more than she cares about him, but that at the same time he's not in love with her; to me it seems like he did love her, but it's more that she's just the symbol of all that he regrets and has lost. (For all I know, this is absolutely not how you wrote this piece, I just think it's brilliant and wonderfully un-ideal and fluffy).
The part that I really like is:
It's such a small exchange and just a few syllables, but I can picture it perfectly. It's like Marlene is touched but doesn't know how to accept love, so she just thinks gives him a small smile and says it very softly, but Gideon really wants her to know how much he meant to her and he's so sincere.
I really love the irony, too, in the end. When he says he loves her and she just says in your dreams. Because I just get the feeling he was never in love with her, but in his dreams he has romanticized and idealized her as much as he can (with the curled hair even even though it never stayed, the smile that didn't photograph quite as nicely, the beauty she never had). It just really brings out the underlying sadness and regret that is trying to hide behind they're flirting and wittiness.
Also, I love that he doesn't remember this in the morning, and like he doesn't remember her exactly, the way he has bits and pieces of her stitched together and placed in a dream just trying to say these things that are eating away at him, and yet he never really gains that closure because he forgets all about it and lets it eat him up again without even knowing it.
Anyways, with that long-winded review, I just want to say that you're such a brilliant, beautiful writer and I really really wish I could write like you (like seriously, I wrote a oneshot that was a bit dreamy and regretful like this and I'm like ashamed of it now). I better check out the rest of your stuff :)
| wallywesting chapter 1 . 11/30/2012
How beautiful! I love the sweet poigancy, the simple prose, it's just lovely. Well done!
| sagebrushandthistle chapter 1 . 4/26/2011
"You thought I might wake up."
| Static Lull chapter 1 . 1/28/2011
Oh, jeez, I adore GideonMarlene, is this is probably the best I've ever read. This is genius.
| Lady Altair chapter 1 . 8/7/2009
How have I not read this before now? I don't even know.
What an amazing, amazing piece. I'll always be a sucker for your Gideon/Marlene, it's always done so masterfully. It's just so real, the whole idealization of what is gone, how the imperfections fade away and everything grows more golden - what's a halo but blurring color? Even down to the detail about her hair never staying, everything in this is just such a quiet lament, I'm in awe.
It's your first lines that are really sticking with me, though:
Only when she was dead did Marlene McKinnon slip into his dreams. And even plucked out of his memories and spinning through his sleep, she wouldn’t let Gideon Prewett forget she was gone from his days and nights for however many he had left.
I can't say if it's the word choice or specific construction or what but those two lines just STICK. I'm JEALOUS, they're BEAUTIFUL!
Lovely, lovely work, as always! Favorited, for sure. :)
| verity candor chapter 1 . 6/21/2009
So sweet... I love how he uses his dream to say all the things he can't actually say...
| Elantra chapter 1 . 4/20/2009
After reading "Fools", I just had to read this one. It was very tragic that Gideon never told Marlene how he felt abotu her!
"...he’d loved Marlene McKinnon long before a memory was all that was left for him to dance with."
*swoons* ) This was a wonderful story, and I look forward to reading more stories written by you in the future!
| RiverJordyn chapter 1 . 4/20/2009
Again, beautiful. Marlene in my head is a lot like yours, as is her relationship with Gideon...a bit. Lovely style, don't hate it please.
Sad in a way, but worth it?
| Princess Gillybean chapter 1 . 4/9/2009
aw. So sad. Beautifully written.
| Sapphire at Dawn chapter 1 . 3/19/2009
This is really brilliant. So sorrowful. I love the relaxed almost dreamlike style you have here.
Though this bit; 'patting the loose curls that brushed her shoulders like she always had.' didnt really make sense to me, I had to read it and the lines that followed a few times, and still I don't really know. Are you trying to say that she always patted and fiddled with her hair?
But other than that it was really good.
| TheWordFountain chapter 1 . 3/14/2009
This was very good. Especially since everything seemed fazed because of the writing. You didn't really let us grab a hold of Gideon and Marlene's history, and I think that made everything blurred in my own mind, not just because you told us that it was the same for Gideon. Also, I couldn't really focus on the dialogue, but I still managed to get the gist of the story which just made the dream-feel more enhanced.
I really hope I'm making sense, because you did such a great job!
| Violin Ghost chapter 1 . 9/17/2008
I didn't review this? Ugh.
This was so heartbreaking! You have a certain style to your dialogues that I love, a unique something- I can't quite pinpoint it- but as I said, I like it, and this story displayed that unpinpointable element to great advantage.
It was beautiful. Thank you.
| Emily Mae chapter 1 . 9/16/2008
I absolutely love reading about minor characters like this! This isn't a pairing you can read about too often and I really liked it. The whole thing had a good, dream-like quality to it too but it wasn't hard to follow like real dreams can sometimes be. Nicely done! :]
| fee chapter 1 . 9/6/2008
i luv it. very good esp the sleeping beauty etaphor. also how u dont make her into perfect woman like others do.