Reviews for The Monster I Call Me
TrisakAminawn chapter 1 . 7/12/2012
Hmm. This was pretty good, but there was something weird in the way you set up the interaction between Kazuma and Kyo. Basically, Kazuma was raining down these pieces of judgment on someone who already had shitty self-esteem, and not communicating clearly at all about what Kyo was really doing wrong or what he could do better or why, and just generally being cruel. Even if it's with good intentions, we didn't see any sign that he was sorry it hurt, or about what he was thinking. In fact, his expressionlessness for the worst of it was *stressed.*

And that's one thing, in terms of how things are expressed and perceived by people, especially since this is in the first person and therefore quite limited. But the problem is that we were seeing from Kyo's perspective, and once Kazuma got angry Kyo stopped even looking for that kind of thing. For good motivations or kindness from his shisshou.

And neither did he apparently experience any anger or feelings of betrayal at this kind of treatment. From someone who is as quick to transmute all feelings to anger as Kyo is, from someone moreover accustomed to externalizing all distress, *not* looking for those mercies and connections is a very bad sign. Not feeling that betrayal means he never trusted him in the first place. And Kazuma is all he has to trust in the world.

It was like, I feel like this is a relationship piece for the two of them? Except the relationship part is kind of missing. It got off to an all right start, but once Kazuma started snapping things got weird. It was like, Kazuma suddenly didn't care about Kyo and Kyo didn't expect him to. I can see that as a defense mechanism, closing down an emotional connection as soon as it becomes too painful, after a lifetime of being burned. Except then Kyo should have been angry, and definitely he shouldn't have been angsting away freely about everything *but* his important person hurting him so much.

So yeah. I could not make this fic make emotional sense starting from Kyo's 'waiting for contempt' and Kazuma then lashing out at him. Is it that he's *used* to this kind of thing from his master? And that the reason there was no feeling of betrayal was that there was never anything to betray, even if he did still care what the man thought? Because then it's not an intervention or a fit of temper, it's long-running emotional abuse. And that's just too screwed up.
Fedski chapter 1 . 1/30/2011
absolutely beautifully sad. i would love to read a sequel to this.
Lazy Gaga chapter 1 . 6/22/2010
LOVE IT!
black-spiral.deviantart chapter 1 . 2/3/2010
Very well written. I enjoyed the parts which you have created that the viewer/reader wouldn't have known.
Unbidden-Angel chapter 1 . 2/6/2009
I really loved it! Poor Kyo. I feel so sorry for him.
The-Ugly-Turtleduckling chapter 1 . 8/15/2008
Wow. Bravo! I commend you on this fantastic work-you captured Kyo's emotions and thoughts regarding his transformation perfectly! I almost felt as if I was there, and your writing captivated my interest instantly. This is awesome! I do hope I see more from you in the future. Again, great job!

Tsuki