Reviews for Pseudo Heroic
killing u with umbrellas chapter 1 . 4/13/2011
loved it.
cominghome28 chapter 1 . 6/8/2010
-EDITS

“He realizes its difficult…” Should be “realizes it’s difficult”

-“and he’s glad his fake driver’s license say he’s…” Should be “says he’s”

-“and how’s he sharper than nails and cruel with it.” I think you meant here “and how he’s sharper…”

-“and watching monitors for hour on end” should be “for hours on end”

-“Matt finds himself calling himself twice as often” I think you meant “calling him”

-“He doesn’t try to hard to find out” should be “too hard”

-STYLE

What first hit me about this piece were the opening sentences: “The boy kicked out at the world. The world kicked back a lot fucking harder.” Really great arrangement of words here that definitely grabbed my interest and encouraged me to keep reading.

What I notice here, as opposed to your previous entries, are the casual details you slip in. I like the part about him clipping a calendar out of a magazine because it has Mario on it; it’s a little part of Matt’s personality that we get to understand.

I also really like the tone you’ve employed here. It’s gruff, with well-placed curse words. I find it captures really well the attitude of a young man who certainly hasn’t led an easy life, and who is very intelligent but who hasn’t had an extensive education. I also never felt like you were trying too hard, with too many swear words or too much slang and clichés, which a lot of writers tend to do. A really great line was “Without Mello, he’ll just be Matt, and that didn’t work out so well last time he tried it.” The scenes are short and have their own themes and meanings, but together they weave this really great tapestry.

-CHARACTERS

Once again the character development here is just superb. I love the progression of Matt’s feelings, and you explain so well why he goes chasing for Mello. As the reader I can think it’s stupid, and think he’s wasting his life away, but at the same time you also bring across his point of view, which is that there isn’t really anything better for him to live for.

Mello isn’t as much of a central figure him but I like the

apology that he doesn’t say but shows in his eyes. I think he knew, all along, that Matt would die for him, and he lets them. Their relationship is beautiful in that it’s terrible and complicated, and everything about this story shows that so well.

-PLOT

You’ve followed the progression of the anime here but with your own developments, which I appreciated. I like that it’s ultimately canon but it shows what could have happened in their relationship. Really we probably won’t ever know. One thing, however, like previous stories I’ve reviewed, is that sometimes I still had a bit of trouble situating myself in terms of timeline. I kind of had to step back and remember the anime to situate where the story was at. Just something to keep in mind.
keem chapter 1 . 9/18/2008
not only are you this amazing writer, but you have this great knack to open up your fics with like the most eloquent quotes ever. i mean, even the phrasing is great. 'and the world kicked back a lot fucking harder'. it just sets the stage, and is so very *matt*.

i like this. (big surprise, when do i ever *not* like your stuff? xD) the scenes are short and concise, but meaningful. you know how to invoke wistfulness and passion without getting too bogged down with the nitty gritty details. i like the little snippets of reality, occasionally interjected with implications of sex/love towards the end. you know there's feelings involved, but again, it's more heavily implied than outright saying it, which manages to be poignant in itself.

there are a few lines that really struck my fancy, but this one most of all: "he always knew it would be to buy Mello time, because Mello will never let someone save his life." i just wanted to commend you on your grasp of Mello's character. i mean seriously, that is spot-fucking-on, you summed it up in a single sentence and its *perfect*. most definitely my favorite line in the entire fic.

i also love the very casual way this is narrated, almost as though matt is telling the story himself, but with the benefit third person perspective instead.

amazing. absolutely amazing. :D!
atliere chapter 1 . 8/19/2008
I love this.

I love how elegantly written it is.

And I also love how you make Mattie out to be such a calm, humble character.

Props to ya.
Demon Hiei's Girl chapter 1 . 8/17/2008
Oh my God... I am stunned... This is gorgeous. What a beautifully written fic. From start to finish. And so damn in character. You did a great job! This was absolutely a lovely read.
Morne chapter 1 . 8/17/2008
Jeez, thats one of the most depressing stories Ive ever read about Death Note... but since you do so very well in writing angst and conveying the characters feelings and thoughts I just have to love it :)

I once wrote that I like how youre able to make things seem so real through adding many details, and I think youve mastered that task within this story!

Its really cruel that Mello didnt even say a word before leaving, but then again its possible that he just wanted to keep Matt out of this.

I wonder if he ever recognized what leaving Matt behind did to the boy...

Hm... with Ls dead, Wammys have lost all of their potentional L-successors at once.

In the series Matt appears to be very little concerned about his impending death... either because he thought that hes able to talk his way out of this, or he just didnt cared.

But its like you wrote - they are Wammys theyre not stupid, so guess its just like youve described in this story.
forgetcanon chapter 1 . 8/16/2008
O.O

OMG

AWESOME. *is shocked and awesomed by the awesomeness of this awesome Mello and Matt fic. That is awesome.*
Catmoongirl chapter 1 . 8/16/2008
This was so lovely and brilliant and raw. You've spun such an amazingly simple story for Matt here. It's short and condensed, but none of the emotional power is lost.

I especially love how you described the very last scene. It was just...well, it was quite honest.

I think that's probably the best way to describe this entire little one-shot. Honest. Complete and unashamed. Or at least, that's what I get from it.

It makes it all the more sad that you mentioned the romantic attachments so briefly. It really accentuated the point you were trying to make that the time they had was so short and there was really nothing they could do to stop it.

I didn't cry when I read this, but that speaks louder than if I had. I cry when things get sappy and emotional. This, however, made me frown and sigh and nod my head in agreement when I read the very last lines. This is something that will stick in my head for quite awhile, not something that I cry about for a few moments and get over. No, I'll most likely walk around thinking about what you've written for a few hours and then I'll probably cry, because that fact that their lives were so short and tragic have to fully sink in.

Wonderful job. Even if you say you're not sure if you like it, I'm sure that I do. I love it.
Kudatsuo-chan chapter 1 . 8/16/2008
...no words. I have no words to express how wonderful this story is. I love love love love love love LOVE this fic. It's a oneshot right? I seriously teared up a bit at the end, and I've mentioned to you before how difficult it is for me to express emotion. You, Bialy-chan, are a BRILLIANT writer. Thank you for this.

Good job Bialy.
Gamecrazy 25 chapter 1 . 8/16/2008
Yayz, Matt/Mello!

I would have more of a review, but I feel braindead yet again. I really liked this, though! It's kinda a coincidence because I started my Matt/Mello friendship thing today. Heh.