Reviews for Marked
DubCliq chapter 23 . 10/2/2011
I really like the way this story was written, it did feel like it was dragging on a bit sometimes, but I liked the flow overall. I had trouble with the two harrys and how the other was just sent off, because it didn't make sense to me with the other harry being of an earlier time and how it didn't affect the harry that stayed, but other than that it was good.
s m Neal chapter 23 . 8/11/2011
it had to be done and this was wonderful
Drifter950 chapter 23 . 7/7/2011
A nice story ... a GOOD story. Thank you writing something we all can enjoy.

The end problem is what really gave your characters humanity.

I look forward to seeing what else you post.

May the MUSE always be with you!

.
GodricGeoffreyGryffindor chapter 8 . 4/9/2011
It looks to me like you've created an invalid time turner loop. A proper time turner loop should resolve with a single loop-back event that causes one half of the time traveler character to turn back to the past, and the other half to go forward from that same reality with the memories of having lived through both halves of a single unified past.

You've used it to create an impossible alternate reality where a character has split himself and cannot live both halves of the past as a single character any more. Killing off one half of the character still does not create a valid time line with a valid time traveler character, because the half that remains has the wrong past and the resulting wrong memories.

Indeed, without a valid past, this Harry should cease to exist as soon as you sent the other one through the veil. They are, after all, only a single character, and you've already had this Harry respond unfavorably to erroneous medical treatment given to the other Harry, demonstrating that this Harry's life properly depends upon the continued existence of his past self, even though he has no memory of having lived it. This Harry is now alien to the current reality.

This is really bad because you've violated the major premise of your story and disconnected your major character from the reality of the plot after confirming the direction that plot was supposed to take. You've killed Harry and let an alien have sex with Hermione.
GodricGeoffreyGryffindor chapter 3 . 4/8/2011
I find it more than a bit implausible that Lily would have such a hard time adjusting to a second Harry when Hermione didn't. For a loving mother this should be like recovering a long-lost twin, not supplanting one son for another. Since both Harrys hate Snape with a passion, there is little continuity problem, and a mother-son relationship is not nearly as dependent upon the history of the relationship as romantic love is. But Lily is right to question Hermione on her quick switching of one son for the other.
Binka Fudge chapter 23 . 2/18/2011
Another excellent story. Having said that, I really didn't like the ending. Don't get me wrong, it's brilliantly written and very well thought out, but the thought of being brought back by means of a horcrux makes me feel physically ill. I've a feeling that Harry is never going to be allowed to forget what he did to Snape, because that is essentialy the reason why he is now alive. Perhaps that is for the best, his punishment for not acknowledging what he did and dealing with it at the time, but it's never going to sit right with me, regardless. On a brighter not, I enjoyed the characters greatly. It was great to see Tonks back to her usual self, at least on the surface. And the relationship between Ron and Hermione was endearing in a way, like little brother big sister, not to mention absolutely hilarious at times. I think I laughed most during the breakfast the day after Hermione's birthsday, when the boys were asking Harry about his Quidditch practice, very well done.
1529 chapter 23 . 1/15/2011
A very good story. I tend to like my happy endings a little more happy than this, maybe something a bit more positive, with the two of them living happily ever after, but a very good story all the same.
H Harmon chapter 15 . 1/11/2011
Harry has never been so self-deprecating. He might be a realest but thinking about Hermione, his mom, and his sister are what is supposed give him a reason to live and survive the fight. Surly Hermione or Dumbledore would have reminded him. If he is convinced he will lose then he will. You have him giving up! Why?
WhiteElfElder chapter 23 . 12/25/2010
Not a bad story. The horcrux for Harry was startling. I think the idea of Harry and Hermione coming back together so easy is a little off, but it works for the story. The real challenge will still be Harry being around everyone...especially Lavendar.
WhiteElfElder chapter 9 . 12/24/2010
So, Draco was given the Key, and now he knows the secret of Harry and Neville...looks like a cluster is abour to go down badly.
Sardonic Irony chapter 23 . 9/15/2010
As i said in my review of the prequel, this is a very well written gripping fic so well done.
DragonDamsel chapter 23 . 12/27/2009
Both "Free Will and Fate" and "Marked" are good stories really, but as you have, without a doubt, heard before the whole sending off the other Harry to an alternate universe don't work really well. It's pretty much the only thing that detract from the realism of the stories. It would have been better to kill him off. I know there that's whole 'if one Harry dies, the other dies too' thing, but instead of finding the cure for the disease, Harry and Hermione could find something that would allow one Harry to live while the other die. That way, you'll be rid of the other Harry without having to change things that would affect the main story.

Other than that I, for one, like everything else about the story really. Something could be frustrating, but it's reasonable so it's okay. I really like Harry's reaction to being resurrected and how it's resolve at the end. After all those deep seated freak issue that's Harry has is not going to just disappear, even if Hermione doesn't know about it.

Your portrayal of Ron here is also superb. It break my heart really. I never really thought much of Ron as a character before, but after reading this story I realize that J.K. Rowling must really hate Ron. I never realize that there could be more to Ron than a disloyal, immature prat. While, Jo like to say that she sympatize and pity Ron and all that rot, but this story made it pretty clear to me that Jo must not really like Ron to treat him so badly. It's almost like she never let Ron be his own character. It's like Jo has made a list of attributes based on her past self*, slap a petty label on top of the list and never allow Ron to grow beyond that.

* I found some quotes of Jo that pretty much said that she felt more sorry for Ron, her past self, more than Harry, her present self.
Candra Jade chapter 1 . 11/30/2009
Hi,

I'm just stopping by to tell you that your stories "Free Will and Fate" and "Marked" have been recommended at Portkey by one of your fans.

talk. ?showforum28
austin-flare-potter chapter 23 . 11/16/2009
hi i have read all ur H/Hr stories i really like the way u built the plot in fact ur as good as JKR was [not as delusional though!] keep writing bye
Afterburn Tango chapter 23 . 10/29/2009
Okay. First off, it has to be said. I'm sorry. Why am I sorry? Because this story is so damned good it deserved a review of every chapter, both in 'Free Will and Fate' and in this astounding sequel. It deserved reviews that were positively overflowing with praise for your ability to put something this amazing together. I am, however, incredibly lazy, and I almost never give anyone anything near the amount of credit they deserve. Instead, I always wait until the last current chapter to post my review. So, for not giving that praise you and your story so richly deserve, I apologize.

From the very beginning I have been gripped by this story. It is a powerful thing that left me constantly dreading what would follow and practically bouncing in my chair with excitement as events came together. I have laughed outright, loud enough to wake my girlfriend at 3 in the morning on the other side of the apartment. She's not happy with that, by the way. I have come about as close to crying as any example of prideful masculinity can. I was even late for work this morning because I didn't go to bed until the previously mentioned laughing fit caused an irate girlfriend to drag me to sleep.

I was overjoyed to come across this story, because I'm an avid fan of HP fan fiction. Not necessarily HP itself, though I definitely started out that way. There are simply so many plot holes, however necessary for the storyline as a whole, that it bothers me to read it at times. My opinions of cannon aside, I was happy to find this story because I have been growing more and more restless with the general stories that have been published of late, and it is incredibly refreshing to stumble upon a new idea.

I have certainly read other fics where Harry had a time turner incident in the DoM, and quite a few where Harry goes back to change something about the course of history as far as the night his parents died is concerned. Most of them though, are content to follow the outline of cannon because coming up with an original story is extremely hard. I know I've tried it enough times.

I have truly never come across a story like this in the HP fanfic universe, and for the grin I've had on my face since I started reading, I sincerely thank you. I look forward to reading more of your work in the future!

Tango.
212 | « Prev Page 1 .. 2 3 4 5 6 13 .. Last Next »