|Reviews for Those Tedious Tasks|
| Jedi lilyrvr chapter 1 . 6/20/2014
| ForeverDreamer12 chapter 1 . 3/10/2014
| CommChatter chapter 1 . 7/17/2012
nice! I like it!
| I Am Not a Human Being chapter 1 . 1/11/2012
I seriously love this.
| drmcatcher chapter 1 . 2/1/2009
Hi, Darth KenObi-Wan!
This is a funny story. I like the way you use all for emphasis in "Too bad I'm burning up all my energy, huh?" I also like the way you describe Luke's and Mara's interaction.
However, you need more description. You leave a lot up to the imagination of the reader. For instance, the reader knows Mara is in the kitchen later on in the vignette, but what is she doing in the beginning of the vignette? There is no transition between the sound of sloshing water in the silent kitchen and Luke's comment to Mara unless she is already in the kitchen, perhaps, sitting at the kitchen table and sipping a cup of caf. However, that seems contradictory, since if Mara is in the kitchen there should be some noise other than the sloshing water. That leaves the possibility that Mara enters the kitchen when Luke asks Mara why she doesn't cook with oil.
You could also describe what the characters are wearing. You could even describe the kitchen.
I also don't understand what "Then you'll have to roll around the battlefield." means. Please clarify it.
In addition, "Ahah!" should be Aha! Sounded should be resounded in "The clatter of falling cutlery sounded through the small kitchen and "A surprised grunt that was definitely masculine." is a fragment. You could add There was to "A surprised that was definitely masculine." "Silence broken only by a sound that sounded suspiciously like sloshing water." is also a fragment. Consider revising it. Is this what you planned." needs a question mark. You might also want to add of after all in "Too bad I'm burning up all my energy, huh?".
That's it for now.
| MidnyghtVampyrezz chapter 1 . 9/18/2008
Haha. Very Mara-y.
| RenkonNairu chapter 1 . 8/25/2008
dot dot dot
This "audio only" thing leaves to much to the imagination (and mine is very wild and perverse). Could we please have just a bit more narrative?
| Teena chapter 1 . 8/18/2008
Very cute! :)
| Ann Jinn chapter 1 . 8/18/2008
That is cute. Now is that from the guy's point of view?
There must be some inter-galatic form of PAM.
| Geri K chapter 1 . 8/18/2008
Can't imagine Luke doing the dishes unless there was something in it for him.
"I thought you might. Is this what you planned."
"Yeah, but I planned it several times over."
A thud is heard...
Um, I don't get it what are they doing? ** if only I could use emoticons** [face_blush] [raised eye brows]
tell them to behave! LOL