Great Story, I look forward to a sequel.

This is a really good story and I like the way you have portrayed the idea. The only problem is the grammar and spelling for me, I am a stickler for this stuff, I do not know why. I have seen small spelling mistakes and commas in the wrong places. I have also seen sentences that go on for too long and could actually be broken up into multiple sentences. This is because the sentence seems to have too many commas in it, or it has too many ands in it. In some cases, both. I am saying this now so that you know what to look out for if you are currently beta-ing someone or looking over your chapters. Other than that stuff, I think this is a very good story, while this might not be an original idea, unless you came up with it first, the way in which you portray the story and characters is very good. I am a very big fan of your Naruto Hatake story and I greatly enjoyed it. I wish you well on your adventures on .

Great story!

from what i read so far NEEDS MORE COMEDY THIS STORY HAS WAY TO MANY LOWS AND NO HIGHS

haha, funny really how extremely pathetic this was for team 7.
Seriously, knowing everything they did and went in head first not even scouting with shadow clones, really bad.

hmmm, interesting. I think you should come up with part two of this story to carry on afterward this point. But if not, then o well for I see much potential in this timeline. You did a good job and liked it all. Was not expecting the two main pairings at all.

I've gone over three chapters and I've noticed a continuing trend that, though the writing is good, this is nit-picking. You're story is great, but your writing and grammar need work. You tend to place quite a few run-on sentences, and you also place a lot of commas in weird places. If you haven't fixed this, I suggest you edit the chapters as this tends to make a few of your ideas confusing. If you have in future chapters, well... Still, edit the earlier ones. Like I said, I'm nitpicking and I'm definitely a grammar Nazi. It was troublesome getting over your somewhat off writing style. But as I said, I love the story.

awesome story :D

a little something here..naruto is a lot more secretive than others give him credit for..I mean he defeated mizuli,gaara,haku,completed an a rank,learnt kage bunshin in a few hours..and I dont see him blabbing to the mountains,as you put it,about his achievements..hell he almost never boasts off..he found his father was yondaime..he boasted it to no one..so why would he tell someone about his parents if somebody said no..?

I never thought of naruto and temari but i must say this story has turned me into a major fan of the two as a couple i loved the story and would love to see a sequel... all in all 10 outta 5 XP

This was really fun. Another fine piece of work. It's sad to hear you aren't going to make a sequel, but oh well. Still, this was really cool. I was a bit skeptical with the whole Temari, Naruto relationship, but I'm glad you proved me wrong. Thanks again for all your work in writing this.

SEQUEL NOW YOU FUCK

Hey man I just wanted to let you know that I am enjoying the story thus far! Also on a side note if u still have the full version with lemons please lete know. They make the story more enthralling to me( not in a perverted way)

I loved this story and thank you for editing the lemons part out. Make a sequel it deserves it's sequel and it's an amazing joyride.

great is theremore?/