Reviews for Unthinkable Thoughts
Maartha chapter 4 . 6/30/2018
I know it's unfair to laugh about poor Harry's distress and despair, but the way you describe his painful realization through the perceptions-magnifier spell I couldn't stop an evil fangirlish grin.

Oh Harry, you're so emo ! "let my fiends hate me before they discover that I'm a bloody faggot and a traitor !". Poor thing.

Yeah Hermione may be a valuable ally for our disoriented boys.
Maartha chapter 3 . 6/29/2018
immediately suspected that Hermione would find out something like "fauns get aroused in presence of soul mates " or so... Sometimes I'm afraid I already read your fic but forgot I did. That would explain why I can predict what happens. Or maybe not, it's only because the plot follows a logical (I won't say cliché anymore !) path, and because I may have read fics inspired by yours.

I admire the way you early understood Dumbledore as a "puppet master".. Matching student to use their entangled magical powers...

LOL the Wizard Wank Manual. See that you're a guy, all that boy's stuff is absent from girls' fanfics. That's refreshing !

I like your cool-headed and marshalling Ron, too.
See you. Martha
obsessivefangirl chapter 2 . 6/28/2018
I see you've firmly embraced the All-Slytherins-Are-Pure-Evil trope, and you're bordering on the Draco-Is-Really-A-Nice-Guy-But-He-Has-To-Act-Like-A-Jerk-Because-Of-His-Father one. Also, I'm not buying the idea of Draco admiring Hermione. Why is it that whenever people write stories like this, they portray Slytherin as a symbol of ultimate evil and Gryffindor as ultimate good? I thought that one of the main messages in the books was that people are complex and multifaceted, nothing as simplistic as good or evil.
Since when are Hermione and Ginny best friends? And why does their girl talk bother Ron so much?
Why is Harry so obsessed with not taking things for granted? You don't provide any sort of catalyst for it, and it's just weird and unnatural for someone to always be thinking that way without some specific, life-altering event to trigger it. Unless it's supposed to be a reaction to the events of the previous book, but you should at least mention that if it is.
Harry is unbelievably rude to Draco in McGonagall's office, and with no provocation from Draco. I can't believe that McGonagall would be amused by that; it's incredibly unprofessional, and she's known for being fair and impartial. She would never encourage Harry to be that much of a bully, which is exactly what he's doing. Besides, why is it so hard for Harry to believe that Draco, a Transfiguration student, would want to talk to the Transfiguration professor? He has every right to talk to McGonagall about her class if he wants to. Harry is just being a presumptuous asshole for no reason.
Ron's outburst at the end of the chapter is cringeworthy. Nobody talks like that, least of all Ron. "Cretinously cute?" Seriously? Have you ever listened to the way people actually talk? So much of your dialogue is just completely pretentious and unnatural, and, more importantly, sounds nothing like the actual characters. You don't capture their individual voices very well.
Aside from all that, I actually thought the part with the fauns was funny and interesting.
obsessivefangirl chapter 1 . 6/28/2018
You write reasonably well, but I thought it started out a little sappy, and you dragged out the last scene too long. I also find it hard to believe everyone would be that cheerful about constantly being woken up by someone loudly jerking off every morning. Frankly, it's rude, and I think a reasonable person would be more likely to teach him a silencing charm, or just cast it themselves. Also, Dean is Muggleborn, so why would he know how to "use a wand" when Harry doesn't?
Maartha chapter 2 . 6/28/2018
In many fanfictions, Draco has truer friends than Gregory and Vincent : Theodore and Blaise. That's refreshing to see you didn't follow all cliches, even if your Draco may be a little too emo, too opposing to his father and surrounded by too gloomy and uninteresting Slytherins. IMO. But, again, you wrote it yeeeears ago with the material you had, and that's fine.

Haha I like the Harry/Draco glaring battles. Cliché but so funny. Anyway I'll stop judging your work as cliché or not,because you wrote it before most of the other fanfics I ever read.

The fauns part is crude but funny. And yes now we know that there will be a "I hate you - I hate you more - I hate you most - I love gmmbl (sound of snogging)" game. No suspens. Well, we know it will be a drarry. Question is : how will they evolve ?

See you. Martha
Maartha chapter 1 . 6/27/2018
Dear Aidan, I heard about your work from one of my favorites authors.
I usually prefer to read in French, cause it's effortless to me. But well, once in a time, why not in English.
Since your fanfic is over for years, you may never read my reviews, whatever.
I first felt a bittersweet nostalgia finding back the teenage HP characters in an unsure world, in a story written when no one knew JKR's final plot. Hee, that means Sirius is still alive, no Horcruxes, Harry doesn't have to marry Ginny and so on !

I like the idea of Harry feeling like he has a lover but doesn't know who. But I find that Harry accepts easily to be "touched" by someone unknown. I thought he would be more defiant against a "paranormal" phenomenon. And I find Harry too relax about being overhead by Seamus. But the discussion between boys about "that" afterwards is realistic and funny. See you !
Guest chapter 8 . 12/10/2017
Story plods terribly. You spend a lot of time either summarizing the novels or summarizing earlier parts of this story. You discuss in depth unimportant, irrelevant, or plain uninteresting things. You’ll rewrite the same scene in a different character’s perspective without really adding anything. Harry’s emotional conflict is ridiculously exaggerated. Cutting himself off from the rest of the world? Then kissing Malfoy in a heartbeat. This story is just unbalance. And does it drag. The one interesting part is the faun scene. I was hoping the combination of humor, action, lore, and mystery would be representative of the rest of the story. But most of the story almost seems like filler. Why don’t you use proper double quotes for dialogue? You’re decent at writing but have no talent for actually putting together a story. Please cool it with the exposition and introspection and filler nonsense and the continuous repeating of information (especially through Hermione). Better luck next time, I guess.
Guest chapter 4 . 12/9/2017
Too much reliance on introspection. Your (and any) decent scenes have action and dialogue, not endless paragraphs of introspection and exposition that only serve to exhaust the reader and slow down the story.
Guest chapter 1 . 12/8/2017
This chapter was an exposition dump.
Lingeredlastinlineforbrains chapter 18 . 11/17/2017
"intense" is all i can manage at the momment ! thank you for this .
MissMJS chapter 18 . 8/24/2017
You fucking scared me! Like, the whole entirety of the last two chapters, I was like, "Fuck no. No! Don't (talking to the author) do it! Can't happen! NO!"
That was a beautiful and realistic way to break the news. Absolutely brilliant.
The fluff was rather fast-paced, but the fluff itself way made up for that. So cuuute...
Sad though we didn't get to see the final confrontation. I totally wanted to see Draco tell him to screw off, and have mister psychotic fall to the awesome powers of their love! XD xD
Loved this
KrixLight chapter 18 . 6/18/2017
so glad to have come across this. thank you so much for sharing. there was many times i wanted to stop because it was getting too long, but I'm glad i finished. this is one of the best fics I've ever read. I cannot express in words how beautiful the writing is. the style, plot, use of different points of view, character development, scenic description, and so much more. there was a couple of typos throughout, but it didn't deter from the story since that is a common occurrence on the fanfics. i loved ur note at the end about why you ended there. i was going to ask about the confrontation with lucius, but with that note, I'm very satisfied with how u ended it. thanks again for taking me on this wonderful journey. i look forward to reading more of your works.
KrixLight chapter 1 . 6/18/2017
i was almost expecting a case conference #3 from draco's friends. but this make better sense given how you talked about the differences between Harry and Draco's friends in past chapters.
KrixLight chapter 1 . 6/18/2017
i struck gold with this fic. beautiful plot and wonderful writing. i love how descriptive it is
Terry chapter 18 . 6/14/2017
I loved this book. It was both complex and unique in storyline. The end was great relieving the tension throughout the story simply and effectively. There are many unresolved events that have been foreshadowed in the story. Will there be a sequel?
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