|Reviews for Betrayer Betrayed|
| Draconic chapter 11 . 10/4/2016
Okay, I like this enough. If I had to make any complaints, it would be that you wasted much of Lady's character potential.
I wasn't really expecting this story to turn into a topsy-turvy retelling of DMC1, (Just avoid Dante screaming, "I should have been the one to…" I can't even finish writing that sentence. And no "Sidekicks" either. Please.
Shax is the name of a demon from the Ars Goetia, specializing in finding and stealing things.
Alternatively, has Astaroth been used in DMC lore? Because if not, he's said to be lazy and obnoxious, which would fit 'Theo' quite well. You could also get away with calling him Roth.
Also, Theo is a terrible name for a demon for its shared etymology with the word 'theology,' which is kind of a non-demon thing.
Also, in scenes before Dante and Vergil have learned his name, but while he's in a scene told from their perspective, it would be better to go back to calling him Snake-Eyes.
Finally, Dante's reaction is a bit off when he hears about Virgil being tortured. I have something I thought was a bit more accurate that I'll send you in a PM.
| Menris Tamer chapter 13 . 9/5/2016
THE TENSION IS REAL! I reeeeally like this, I haven't been able to read much else because of this. It's amazing and awesome and oh my god SO fun to read. I do wish for an update sometime soon and hope everything goes well and stuff!
| Ksian chapter 13 . 9/3/2016
Oh, you're back with an update, I'm so glad! Thanks-thanks-thanks for the wonderful chapter! I totally enjoyed it - the feelings it gave me, ohhhh... )
Ahem, I'll try to be more coherent now.
The scene when Dante wakes up and his interaction with Lady is just so touching and so in-character. I love the way you show how Dante understands he has no hope of escape and still remains true to himself, how his first conscious question is about his brother, and how Lady tries to find a way of lifting his mood and it is him - after everything he's been put through - who lifts hers. *applauds wildly*
I also loved Vergil in this chapter, whose part gives us hope - as opposed to Dante's - that things might yet change for the better - or not. The almost regret he gave off for condemning his twin to torture, humiliation and possibly death felt so... so... well, so right for him.
And I quite enjoy the intrigue of not knowing how it all will end, the sweet sense of suspense and doom and unpredictability. *applauds again*
I'd like to thank you once more for writing this fanfic, I do like it very much. It makes me feel the fandom is still alive with the people who can write such wonderful works, and it really means a lot to me.
I will be most eager to read the next chapter whenever you finish it. So best of luck with everything! )
| DMC Nyarlathotep chapter 13 . 9/2/2016
I have a requested crossover story that I want you to write ( It is basically a OneShot / A long one actually / 6000 words with an epilogue ) :
Crossover between Devil May Cry ( Original ) and Demonbane ( The Japanese anime with Mars Demonbane / Naia / and Al Azif ) .
Note : This story will take place in a realistic Alternative Universe ( Aka character appearances / Naia will be an attractive female Caucasian woman / Sparda will have a more European design / still has his handsome looks )
Main Pairing: Sparda x Naia ( Aka Nyarlathotep / female form only for this story ) ( Plus this will be a Non - Canon story ) .
Characters can appear whenever and however ( Including Dante and Vergil which will be the twin sons of these two characters ) .
Rated M for : Smut and Cursing ( Nothing too extreme ) .
Genre : Romance .
Title : Bathing Beauty In The River .
Summary :Mundus, had, just, been, sealed, and, I, had, saved, humanity, from, his, demonic, army, but, my, journey, was, not, over, yet, therefore, I, somehow, happened, to, come, across, a, naked, bare, skinned, caucasian, beauty, who, appeared, to, be, bathing, in, river , surrounded, by, evergreens, , but, everything, soon, changed, when, she, invited, me, to, join, her, in, what, would, be, called, a , mating, session, for, the, two, of, us .
To, the, author, please, do, my , requested, crossover, story, that's, all, I, am kindly, asking..
PS : Hope you like it ..
| Tricksterkat209 chapter 13 . 9/1/2016
I honestly had to go back and reread everything from chapter 10 onwards because I couldn't remember what had happened but the new chapter was awesome. Lady kicked ass~
Poor Dante though..ouch.
| Zaff18 chapter 12 . 5/25/2016
I've read this Chapter a hundred times by now! It's so sad... I'm really curious about what's happening to Vergil, and he's really going to let Dante suffer alone? And Dante... And Lady... Don't get me started. All in all, hooked as always, so please update! It's been way too long since the last one.
| Xian chapter 12 . 2/20/2016
Um, I just wanted to wish you a lot of inspiration and luck with this story (and your daily life, of course). And to let you know there is someone out here waiting eagerly, but patiently for an update. Cause it's a great story. :-)
| Galdr chapter 12 . 1/19/2016
That was a turn of events. It was intense and had me on the edge of my seat. People betraying one another and the only ones suffering are Lady and Dante, and possibly Trish, now that she knows she's practically screwed. Though, I have this feeling a redeeming quality of Vergil's will come but probably not too soon. He was in this little game as well. It was a ploy all along to get Dante. Or, maybe Mundus would expend Vergil at the last moment or something—who knows. All theory and assumptions I can make.
This was a fine, good read. I'm glad I crossed paths with it.
| Galdr chapter 1 . 1/19/2016
This interests me so far. I took note of your notices at the beginning. No worries about those 16-year-old writing style. I think majority crossed that bridge before. Anyway, I'll spending the next few days reading this story; it's a nice twist and the summary caught my eye. I will be able to leave a more sufficient, proper review; I could not help but say something now, though. I will say that I admire your dedication and it is very inspiring as a writer myself. I hope some of it can rub off on me.
Take your time with this story. You have my support.
| lady pomegranates chapter 5 . 11/4/2015
I am thoroughly enjoying this.
| Brenda293 chapter 12 . 10/21/2015
What could I say ? Hmm that it really feels like Hell . I was having doubt at the beginning but now I don't .So more ,more and more !
| Xian chapter 12 . 6/24/2015
Chapter 12 is my favourite so far! So captivating and so perfectly balanced. It's realistic-looking and reasonable, while never coming down to some gore fest. And the characters!.. Lady, defiant till the end and Dante, stubborn, joking even when tortured. Yet both of them care for each other not only more than for themself, but more than for their pride. Vergil is an enigma, as I guess he should be. I enjoy the moments (just few enough to be rarely preciuos) when he acknowledges his conscience and the fact that his brother means more to him than he would like to pretend.
So... PLEASE WRITE MORE, I CAN'T WAIT TO READ ON! :)
| Lunavoox chapter 12 . 6/6/2015
Amaazing! Thank you so much for continuing this story. I read the previous chapters and quite liked. Great job!
| Lady Botticelli chapter 12 . 6/5/2015
what say about this chapter, beyond hmm... incredible ? Incredible!
if there is a better adjective...
My favorite so far, I loved the part of Lady torn over repaying '' save '' Dante, I like that involvement of the both, I hope there are more parts equal, because I loved, and I knew vergil was behind it, just do not want to believe, I cheer for that Vergil become better...
I will follow this story to the end, very good writing :)
| Be Rose chapter 12 . 5/14/2015
I stumbled across this story two days ago when chapter 12 was posted. It sounded interesting and it hasn't proved me wrong. I really hope you will finish it. The DMC fandom deserves a good story like this to be finished.
Vergil is not the Vergil of DMC3. That doesn't mean he's OOC. It means that whatever happened to him at the hands of Mundus had a profound impact on him. It would have been unrealistic if he hadn't changed.
This last chapter shows there are definitely feelings between Dante and Lady. Are they in love? Is it just platonic love? Are these brotherly/sisterly feelings? You are the author. I'm sure your characters will let you know.