|Reviews for One Reality|
| SilverCoatl chapter 22 . 10/22/2016
This story is really good too...although perhaps not quite as good as the original. My favorite part was seeing all the original Abyss characters show up, like Luke, Jade, Natalia, etc. - but that's probably just because I like them a little more than Asch.
It does seem like there is much less tension going on here than there was in your first story - maybe it's just because I tend to prefer action-oriented stories over romance, but things just didn't seem to flow as well. Once again, I felt lost in the first five or ten chapters of the story - largely because of all the timeskips and the sudden teleportation after the second-order hyperresonance, but also because there just wasn't enough detail to give a strong sense of place. I know you said detail isn't your forte (it's not really mine either), but a writer needs to include a certain amount of information on where the characters are, or else they risk confusing the readers.
The romantic tension with Vam and Sophie was good - I did like that part - but it was a bit too short, I think. Overall, this story has a lot of interesting ideas, but without any other form of tension to move things along, it just wasn't as interesting as the first one. Check out the "Four Types of Dramatic Tension" online for more info on this subject.
I don't know if you're still writing or not - I assume real life got to you the same way it did to me, or maybe you're just focusing on original works instead - but you have a lot of potential, so I hope you do keep writing. Good luck in all that you do!
| a fan of this chapter 22 . 12/7/2015
Well, given the fact that this story ends here and it has been over two years since the last update, I can only assume that you have either passed away, or your passion for writing has died. Sigh... thats rather unfortunate as quite honestly i was really enjoying this series, i honestly hope that you are alive and well, and that one day, one day you will see this comment and be inspired to continue writing :)
| SonicGirl2002 chapter 22 . 4/28/2013
Whoa, an update?! FROM TWO DAYS AGO?! Why am I only now hearing about this?! Dx In yo face, Mom! Surfing the Internet at six a.m IS worth something!
Anyway, mini-life-rant over xD I just about died when I saw an update for this. So of course I had to scurry and grab a glass of juice and sit my butt down and read! And it was so amazing! But then again what else is new? xD
When Sin and Asch are talking on the Albiore, I just about died xD "The first, the happiest, is when I found out I was no longer wed." You just gotta love how he just kinda tosses that out there. "Oh, yeah, by the way, I married this other chick. But don't worry, it was a long time ago and I did it to save you. So, like, yeah, you're welcome." *dies of laughter* My mind probably completely stole the seriousness out of that scene, but I couldn't help it! It was awesome! I've been waiting for him to spring that on her, too! And oh my Lorelei, when Sin asked if he slept with her, I did one of those old-fashioned-super-lame "OOOOOOOOHHHH" sound effects xD Which I probably shouldn't be doing at six a.m but oh well xD And when Asch was all "Hey, for the record I slept with you first!" I was all "Bad Asch, bad! You don't use that against a girl to win an argument! Especially a fifteen year old! Don't you know anything?!" Silly Asch xD
Anyway, to the stuff you actually want to hear, not my lame reactions xD I didn't really see any typos, which means either A) there were none or B) They were so minor that I totally skipped over them because I was so engrossed in the story. Which also means that the story was written so smoothly, the typos didn't interrupt the flow. You've written Asch amazingly as always *coughbetterthanIcouldeverdreamtocough* and Jade was greatly in character as well! Jade's another toughy for lots of people to write, mostly, I think, because he talks so smarty-pants like and formal and stuff. But you did it swimmingly! (I can't believe I just used that word xD) I don't know if I ever mentioned this to you, but you are fantastic at writing formal tongue. For example, in the game, Natalia tends to talk like that. I can't really describe it in words besides it just sounds...noble. But anyway, you write it really well, with both Asch and Jade, so have some kudos!
Alright, so Sin and Asch back together. Check. Sin and Asch talk about past. Check. Asch and Natalia talk about Asch's past. Hmm...no check!
I'll be waiting! :D
...Please don't make me wait long, I'm extremely impatient xD
| Doveflight chapter 22 . 4/27/2013
Great chapter! I love it. PLEASE WRITE MORE SOON! *dies* I was so into the story i forgot to do that thing where i keep poping back into the review and commenting.
| Doveflight chapter 21 . 3/15/2013
Awwww ssooooooo cute! Soooo much fluff *dies of fluff overload*
Pleasepleaseplease write mooooorrrreee! I'm dieing! And don't you dare somehow tell me this is over and you forgot to put complete on. I will kill you
| Doveflight chapter 20 . 3/15/2013
Awww sooo cute! WRITE MORE NOW CAUSE I ONLY HAVE ONE CHAPTER LEFT XD
| Doveflight chapter 19 . 3/15/2013
I really ment to finish this weeks ago... i actidently killed the tab and only the story parternered with it brought it back to my head. I loooovveee this chapter so far and you need to update. Its been four months!
| Doveflight chapter 18 . 3/7/2013
Again i'm so confused 0.0
| Doveflight chapter 17 . 3/7/2013
I'm ssooooo confused xD
| Doveflight chapter 16 . 3/7/2013
*pouts* Yeaaahhh still not happy. Great story, horribleness SinxAsch right now.
| Doveflight chapter 15 . 3/7/2013
She remembered! B-but she doesn't love him. *slaps author* Bad! Though its very interesting sooo *slaps self*
| Doveflight chapter 14 . 3/7/2013
Hm, i origionally thought that river thingy was a dream *shocked* I hope Sin gets her memories back instead of just falling in love with asch again. It feels... wrong...
| Doveflight chapter 12 . 3/7/2013
WOAH! Sin... why are you a theif. Isn't that like in Blue something... i wonder what happeneed to everyone like Luke and Tear too.
| Doveflight chapter 11 . 3/7/2013
Hm... how is she going to remember? I know she has to some way... i hope.
| Doveflight chapter 9 . 3/7/2013
ER... doesn't she know how to use arts? I guess she figured it out in the end and couldnt use them cause the fonons are diffrent.