|Reviews for Rosamund's Tale|
| Guest chapter 1 . 8/17/2012
No Ariel i hate you no Rosamund i love you
| Dream4aSleepyZombie chapter 1 . 6/8/2011
Hey ff have turned off your pm feature too :)
| voodooqueen126 chapter 1 . 11/6/2008
This is great, and the first Obernewtyn fanfiction that I have read!
| ClockworkScales chapter 1 . 10/9/2008
While reading it I was wondering what the point was aside from a diary entry. But at the end of sat up in my chair a little bit, wow. That was a nice ending. I mean, it wasn't nice but it was nice... Ah I'm not making sense.
I liked it. :) Nice job.
Also, sorry to be picky. " Also that Ariel disappeared and Madam Vega and Alexi where killed." it's 'were', isn't it? I guess the spell checker didn't really pick it up because where is spelt right. Just used in the wrong context. Boo to typos! xD
| UrgentLemons chapter 1 . 9/22/2008
You have an excellent base for a story here, Rosamunde is a rather enigmatic character, and I know I am rather curious about her backstory. And the last little bit about Ariel having a aprt in her death intrigued me.
However you do need to work on your writing style. I know this is your first story, and I am being a lot less harsh than I would normally be because you seemed to try hard to make it work. However the prose was a bit staccato and stilted. Rosamunde seems very dteached from the events, as if they were something she merely watched in a TV show. Maybe focus less on recounting the story we all know and love, and instead emphasise her thoughts and feelings on these events.
Also what about the blossoming relationship we saw between Rosamunde and Valda in The Keeping Place? Maybe you could include her feelings on the apparently unrequited affections Valda held for her.
So I think if you tried to rewrite this, with a bit more research and focus on your original storyline, this could be a great Oberfic. God knows we need more great Oberfic. :D
That's really all I had to say. I hope this helps you in your future writing, and that you don't take this as a harsh criticism, but rather as a few suggestions to improve your work.