Reviews for Harry Potter: Rise of the Technomancers |
---|
![]() ![]() ![]() you've written the story too calm, harry should be killing scrimjour and the death eaters. getting back his money. and i dont see the goblins handing over the potter and longbottom estates like that. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Yes, it is YOUR story Play it as you see it Hope you are able to come back and continue it Good luck! |
![]() ![]() ![]() В первой главе так много неправильного, что я теряюсь стоит ли читать дальше. Но, пожалуй, я все же рискну. |
![]() ![]() So many spelling errors! Get a beta, or at least dictionary. |
![]() ![]() ![]() A very over-powered Harry. Still, it is a good read. |
![]() ![]() Harry Potter should ask himself what would happen after I defeat Voldemort would my friends and everyone turn on me again, would insert profanity here happen once Dumbledore figures out I finished my destiny would he turn on me as well, Harry should ask himself he should think of the worst case scenario and prepare for it and always have bits and pieces of plan to be as modular and interchangeable as possible so that way if something deviates he can adjust the plan for his defense and well-being. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Why did I even continue and read till here? Sigh... For all of Harry's "cunning," I knew I shouldn't have expected much after the "Order of the Fried chicken" statement LMAO. He could've just feigned ignorance by saying he was obliviated - something along the lines of a "memory loss/memory manipulation" where he'd grasp his head acting like it hurt on the mere mention of "Harry" and tried to excuse himself. At least that way, it wouldn't have ended as ugly here. Sure, it's still the same outcome, but not as pitiful as he ended up, lol. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Meh. I'm sorry, but this chapter for me was just plai e. I mean, seriously, "The Order of the Friedchicken"? I... what? And a howler? And in the first chapter, the twins just gave Harry 53,000 galleons? Wha- how did they even have that much? That's more than a damn million dollars! |
![]() ![]() ![]() Wish I didn’t lost so much time reading this |
![]() ![]() ![]() Your timeline for him learning wandless magic doesn't seem to add up. He just manages to complete the wandless lumos charm at the end of fourth year. In his fifth year his studies suffered from his lack of sleep and focus due to Voldemort's harassment, but he put effort into doing well on his OWLs. Then, he was thrown in Azkaban and you mention he was unable to retake his history exam. And then magically: "So, by the time he completed the last year, he was nearly as proficient in wandless magic as he was in normal wand casting magic." The word "so" should be preceded by an explanation that would imply the things that succeed by it, but what I see here is an explanation of why he wouldn't be good at wandless magic followed by a statement saying he is good at it. |
![]() ![]() ![]() I know it’s been over a decade and that this has been long abandoned. I doubt you have access to this account anymore. Anyways, i really enjoyed it and loved your Harry and Fleur interactions. Though I would have liked to see more, i do like that at least it ended after the Ron/Ginny/Hermione bashing |
![]() ![]() ![]() seems very clique |
![]() ![]() ![]() Gods Vanderkaum's story is heartbreaking. |
![]() ![]() ![]() So Where's the rest of this? You got this far and just abandoned it? Wtf! Serious waste of potential and already crafted story material |
![]() ![]() ![]() Just to throw this out there 55 million galleons is equal to 275 million pounds which converted to dollars would equal 377,382,500 dollars, so you were way off in your Maths lad |