Reviews for Magical Mayhem: Humble Beginnings
Boldly Going Somewhere chapter 2 . 5/29/2014
Very well written! I believe you have captured Fred and George's personalities well. From reading the books, I've noticed that Fred is a bit more outgoing and carefree than George, who is the slightly (Emphasis on "slightly") goodie-two-shoe of the twins, but their troublemaking ways still stand out as their signature trademark, which is what you have captured in the chapters. The interaction between family members is also something well-done in this story.

One thing that got me was that Fred possibly could have been more upset when Charlie woke him up with the water, because no one wants to wake up to a mouthful of water. Realistic emotions and reactions are somewhat difficult to write, but it makes for a relatable story.

But, this story is wonderfully written by the author and revised by the beta. Kudos to you and Maiafay! I hope you'll continue this story soon. It shows great potential and a nice, different perspective of coming to Hogwarts for the first time.
Airihs chapter 2 . 4/29/2013
I really like this. The characters are just perfect, and I love the story. Oh, I can't wait for the next update!
Naheniel chapter 2 . 1/31/2010
This was very pretty so far. I do hope you continue the story, but your profile indicated so. Ill put it to favs.

Well done!
Wendy Brune chapter 2 . 6/28/2009
After reading your helpful comments, I got curious to see what you've written!

I really enjoyed this story! I was extremely pleased to see that you fleshed out Fred and George. Many authors make Fred and George a bit one-dimensional, only ever playing out jokes and pranks. The insecurity Fred feels after the exploding snap trick really works; you give him another dimension without making him so uncertain that he's OoC.

Good work with Cedric's characterization as well! I can imagine a miniature Robert Pattinson saying such things.

If you do continue working on this piece, you might be interested in looking about online; I've know there are many variations of a "Things I Am Not Allowed to Do At Hogwarts" list out there. They might prove as a good springboard for a Fred and George prank.
Lola-Leexx chapter 2 . 2/12/2009
Aww, I like the thought of Fred having a security blanket! Especially one that was charmed to hug back!

Love the exploding snap scene, brilliant! What a way to be introduced to Fred and George. Sets them all up for what to expect of them I suppose!

I also like the way you write about Fred's uncertainty in his jokes, you capture nicely his surprise in the realisation that not everyone might find them funny.

Again I have some (hopefully) constructive critisism:

“That’s not fair,” Fred said, squelching as he got off the bed.

I think that Fred would be a little bit more angry than he comes across in this bit, I know I would be if someone squirted me with water.

Also, two hours to get up, dressed, get ready to leave, drive to London AND across it seems pretty unlikely to me.

I also think that they would know what sort of spells that Hogwarts would teach them, having three older brothers either in or been through the school. I think that what would interest them more is when they would start to learn how to do them and use them on others.
Lola-Leexx chapter 1 . 2/12/2009
Haha, really like the end part of this chapter, I can really picture the twins doing something like this! It's also a good ending, really made me laugh and want to read more.

I like the style of your writing, I think you portray the twins very well, and definatley in character.

However, the phrase:

'Fine if your poor brother had got sick all over himself?”' seems a bit wierd, just doesnt soound right. Maybe 'been sick all over himself' would be better, just to make it clearer because I was confused when I first read that over.

Also, 'git' seems to me like a bit of a strong word for an eleven year old to use really.

'George’s bed on the other side of the room,' bit of a spacing issue there...

'George hit him alongside the head' this bit seems ver Americanised for characters that are English, I don't think they would have said anything like this really.

But I really like this so far and am definatly going to read on.
RebeccaRoy chapter 1 . 1/10/2009
LOL those two!
Red Bess Rackham chapter 2 . 1/5/2009
"Destroying canon characters"? *Very loud scoffing noise* As if you could. You're writing is always so well done and this story is no exception.

I think the HP fandom has slowed considerably now that the series is done, but I'm glad to see people are still writing for it. This was so... good and refreshing, canon-feeling, warm, funny and well-written. I hope you update soon, Rhea, this story is so cute.

Red
Ste93 chapter 2 . 12/29/2008
This is pretty much how i would imagine the twins did make friends with lee haha.

Good stuff, keep it up (and update quicker :P)
patty the purple platypus chapter 2 . 12/26/2008
this is really good the twins seem in character and i love the mischeif they've gotten up to. Two things though, you can't use magic outside of school yet both the twins and Charlie use it at the Burrow. Also, Cedric is the year above the twins if i remember correctly. But those are minor details and i still enjoyed the story very much.
Mwahahahahahaha chapter 1 . 10/28/2008
i havnt read anything harry potter related for ages, it really gd though, you have to do somthin about tht real life :)
Irindiglo00Azure chapter 1 . 10/23/2008
That was cute/hilarious! VEry nice! LoL Fred & George & Ron xD I like it!
WinchesterPhantom chapter 1 . 9/17/2008
Hey Rhea!

Weasley twins? I love the idea and I can't wait to see what mischief they get up to at Hogwarts. So far every character seems IC, and frogspawn? Poor Percy I have to say.

Can't wait until next update!

Winy!
Red Bess Rackham chapter 1 . 9/10/2008
Tee hee! Very cute, Rhea. I especially liked the whole beginning where Mrs. Weasley is hauling them to their room by their ears, yelling at them about Percy and frogspawn. SO Fred and George. Very cute! :)

Red
Monotonehell chapter 1 . 8/24/2008
What? No twin-cest? And then there was all that talk of their two twelve inch wands...XD Oh well.. maybe later. ;)

But seriously, it's a great start and I'll be looking forward to the continuing chapters.

Nitpicks:

"George hit him upside the head."

That struck me as a VERY American expression for what is ostensibly an English fandom. The twins seemed a little grown up in their manner for age 11, but that could just be part of their precocious charm.

Not much to comment on so far so keep it coming!
19 | Page 1 2 Next »