Reviews for Guarded
sharinganavenger chapter 29 . 8/31/2009
Nice. Unexpected. For Visas *not* to be there... which is, as you showed, another way for her to defy Nihilus... that was a neat twist, and worked well.

Lots of great things in this chapter: Atton's belated realization of Mira's Force-sensitivity, everyone's increased mental communnications, Carra's minor freakout over Atton's cut arm. Not looking forward to that forshadowing playing out. Or maybe I am, if you'll write it as well as you've done everything else.

The way you described that duel... it wasn't about the motions or combat maneuvers, it was about their respective presences and flows in the Force. You wrote it beautifully, the way you kept slipping in the descriptions, telling what things were, not what was happening. It's somewhat sad and bittersweet that Carra's Force presence still reminds Atton of the lonely pain on Dantooine. But not surprising.

Atton's still subdued, but Carra seems even worse. Hoping she comes out of it, however much she can before the end.

Looking forward to your next update, whenever you have time for it. Getting killed by it would be bad, though. You might want to avoid that. _
kosiah chapter 28 . 8/29/2009
Okay, finished! And it was a lot of fun to read. Thank you! I am not one to talk, but I do hope you finish this fict, you're so close to the finale!

I loved Korriban, and the logic you've applied there about Atton and Carra's relationship. If I had any criticisms at all about this, it would be that sometimes it feels like you're skimpy on details, but the strong pov more than makes up for that. And your dialogue is fantastic and carries the plot.

But there is backstory stuff I'm curious about - Atton knows Sion? But the Exile doesn't? (She doesn't seem to in game, so that makes sense...) I loved the story Carra told Atton about Jedi falling in love, the story of many Jedi and the story of two, too. Seems very apt and very real.
kosiah chapter 4 . 8/29/2009
I am liking this a lot. Atton is not fluffy. That's a huge plus. I also think retelling the game from his perspective makes a lot of sense - the Exile in-game can be a bit of a cipher, seeing her through someone else's perspective makes that cipher interesting.

Very well-done, now I read more :) Glad foxfire told me about your ficts!
Melissa chapter 28 . 7/5/2009
Hey! Why don't you do another chapter since you are a good writer and everything? I want to see what happens at the end.
Mist Archon chapter 28 . 6/27/2009
Late arrival to your story.

I disagree with your assessment, your story is a (lightsaber) cut above most fanfiction entries. Though I do admit I haven't read many SW fics.

Atton is spot-on, and had me laughing my ass off several times. I could definitely see him saying or thinking some of your dialogue/monologue. That said, I'm not sure about Carra. She seems a little too soft and frail for a hardened warrior with blood on her hands. I'd expect her to show more ruthlessness. Maybe we'll see that later. Also the transitions between chapters and scenes are a little jarring. I'm not suggesting you re-imagine every scene, but some summary exposition between scenes would even out the story flow.

For the record, I also played a female exile. She was a consular (force lightning, cackles gleefully), and also a goody girl. I also remember being annoyed at the lack of romance options. Not to mention I had to stomach Sion, the walking crater-face telling me I'm beautiful, what am I supposed to be flattered?

Given how badly KOTOR2's story got mangled in the end, I'm not sure how you're going to play it out. But I look forward to finding out.
TheLionOfLannister chapter 28 . 6/23/2009
Man, you write so brilliantly. I can't explain it, but it all just feels so natural. Like I'm reading scenes from the game itself, even in scenes you created. Except that your scenes - and your characterizations - are better, as far as I'm concerned. You've made me like K2 a thousand times more, and since I was no huge fan of the game, that's not any small accomplishment. I wish I could better express how awesome your fic is, but I'll just have to leave it at that.

And yeah, I love Mira. She's awesome.

Looking forward to more. :)
jetti chapter 28 . 6/23/2009
This is the first time I have reviewed anything...I'm new to this whole thing. Love your stories and the way you write. I'm not much good at reading to edit...unless the grammer or writing is really bad...I get too caught up in the story. Keep up the good work. I love your Atton.
Chaser14 chapter 28 . 6/22/2009
Atton sure does get angsty sometimes, doesn't he? Great chapter (but make it longer next time!) I like that Carra's actions are being affected by her feelings for Atton. It makes you wonder whether the Jedi Council is right to frown upon romantic relationships. Keep the good work up and update soon!
Jen DeClan chapter 28 . 6/22/2009
I like Mira, too! She comes across as a strong in control woman who tells it like it is to anyone whether they want to listen or not, heh heh! Atton and Carra-are they ever going to straighten out their topsy turvy relationship? Good chapter and I was so glad to see it posted. I miss when I don;t have something good to read.
Spoodles chapter 28 . 6/22/2009
I like Mira too! She's awesome. Great chapter, but I was a bit disappointed about the whole no show thing with the handmaidens. But yeah... it was still awesome. :-)
SpartanGamer2013 chapter 28 . 6/22/2009
Nicely done! I love the tension between Carra and Atton. XD Update soon!

God Bless!

ashehole chapter 28 . 6/22/2009
I like Mira, too. D

And... Wow. I just can't help but feel bad for Atton and for Carra. It's like trying to connect two pieces that are supposed to be attached and just doing it the wrong way. .x
sharinganavenger chapter 28 . 6/22/2009
:D Mira is fracking awesome. And... heh. "Emotionally compromised"? I hope the reference was intentional; it was nicely done.

So Atton's choosing a really bad time to go apathetic. The council... Kreia... Atris... Carra's facing a lot of problems. At the rate he's going, he'll get over his issues just in time to completely fail to help her. If that hasn't happened enough already. Apathy is death; hasn't anyone told him? :P Atris is gone. Sadness. Surprised there wasn't any reference to the Handmaidens... one way or another. Looking forward to finding out more.
Harlequin Love chapter 27 . 6/5/2009
Lol, you totally confused me with the last funny segment there. I got the vibe that Atton was actually right in his bitching, and Carra was only silent because Atton was kind of right.

But with your summarization of the scene, now I'm think Carra is just 'whatever'/is-sad.

Well, despite my confusion now, I loved the chapter and I love how you say Atton owns Mical by 'twist'ing.

Gah, Atton has to go figure out the mystery that he doesn't know is a mystery! XD
Spoodles chapter 27 . 6/1/2009
Oh my! So so good. I'm a very latecomer... just browsing... and I was hooked after the first... um... sentence?

I love the way you portray Atton. He's so Attonish... it's wonderful! And this last chapter... oh poor guy! Poor Atton. Aw. Oh goodness I hope you update soon.

Bao Dur and Mira! I have such a crush on Bao...
209 | « Prev Page 1 .. 2 3 4 5 6 7 .. Last Next »