|Reviews for The Light Within|
| Keziah chapter 14 . 10/12/2014
Awesome story! I really do love it! Please update!
| Anonymous chapter 14 . 3/1/2014
Wow that is really good. I look forward to the next chapter. I really like the way Christine has that internal thinking stuff, it is REALLY funny!
| AngelOfTheMusical chapter 14 . 1/6/2012
keep writing! I love it! I need to read another chapter...
| The Unknown One chapter 14 . 5/16/2009
This review shall contain comments on both chapters 13&14 because the reviewer is stuck on a cloud of lethargy.
yummy and funny.
yay. what a change.
although it was a nice change.
even though I actually thought that this chapter was less flowy than the former one.
| The Spinning World chapter 14 . 5/6/2009
Hm, interesting. I like how you're taking this story. I want to note one thing, however: there's a fine line between too much humour and too much angst. It seems as if you suddenly jumped from one to the other. If you do want both in your story, then perhaps you could try balancing the two, so they don't cancel each other out. Just a suggestion, you know, and it's easier said than done.
Anyway, update soon! I want to read further.
(P.S. Are you a Pratchett fan, by any chance? I saw a distinct Rincewind line in a previous chapter and I thought to ask.)
| Captain Ichabod Rainey chapter 14 . 4/27/2009
Great chapter! Can't wait to read more!
| Wandering-Recluse chapter 14 . 4/27/2009
Great chapter! It was emotionally intense and really good. I'm not sure who I should feel sorry for-Erik or Christine. I know most people would go with Christine but I think that Erik needs to be pitied too. Anyway, update soon and good luck on getting that internet fixed!
| Chapucera chapter 14 . 4/26/2009
Thank you, thank you, for updating my favorite story (was it your birthday or mine?)!
Your Erik gets darker and more powerful all the time! I love it - his brand of intelligent insanity, and the hint of remorse at the end of the chap when he finally takes stock of what hes done to Christine. The mental equivalent of a bull in a china shop! Perhaps he would prefer her to remain spirited and sarcastic, as long as her barbs are not directed at him?
So, youve left our poor heroine a gelatinous mess! She IS somewhat broken after that little exchange, isnt she? I hope she something of backbone or spirit left in reserve somewhere within herself.
At least Erik wont harm her physically...
Wonderfully-written, delicious chapter.
Thank you again for the lovely update. Hope your home Internet is up and running again soon!
| gray seal chapter 14 . 4/26/2009
Oh, sad. Well, at least we know that Christine isn't TOTALLY disconnected to her feelings. I'm kind of bittersweet about the change in style. I liked the load of sarcasm you dished out, but it would have eventually gotten overbearing. Great chapter! (Have you noticed that every chapter seems to be a great chapter? Hmm...) Finally we see Erik's creepiness on a full scale-like forcing her to kill her own friends and loved ones (yikes!). Lovely. I mean, not lovely that he's capable of doing that, but lovely that you were able to capture the essence of his character. I'm gonna shut up now. Just got home, and I'm in a desperate need for sleep...
By the way, I DO feel honored. I'm feeling especially uninspired (also) and on more than one scale, so it makes me feel good that someone was at least able to post another chapter. Now, feel inspired -wiggles fingers because stupid sticks have no magic, and fingers are sure to do the trick... ah... never mind-
| Timeflies chapter 14 . 4/26/2009
Christine seems darker, more intense if you will. She was lighthearted before. Have I read into it correctly? Erik is more threatening and harsh, determined to make her submissive that she was before. More please.
| Blair chapter 13 . 4/19/2009
"there was a couch, 2 wooden, hard-backed chairs, an armchair, and a coffee table"
Replace "2" with "two". By convention, you don't use digits in creative writing when the number is less than a hundred.
"I heard Erik’s friend(?)"
By convention, you do not use "(?)" in creative writing; it's more of a note-taking thing.
“Leave,” the masked man sighed, “Exit, depart, go away, run off, hurry along now, disappear – surely even your English isn’t so terrible you don’t know the meaning of the word?”
- This was funny (:
"It was a rather ridiculous idea - the image of the masked man sitting in an armchair, glaring daggers at a benign old man telling him to take deep breaths..."
- Even funnier ;D
Some of the paragraphs could be joined to make the thing more interesting to read. It is good to vary the length of your paragraphs, sentences, etc. (:
| Wandering-Recluse chapter 13 . 4/19/2009
Wow, an amazing chapter for an amazing story. I can't wait for the next one! Good luck on your internet by the way, I know how finicky the mentioned object can be.
| Timeflies chapter 13 . 4/19/2009
Erik let Christine meet Nadir and then the conversation was over and Erik was gone, too. He teased her with the man and her short visit with someone else. More please.
| coloursflyaway chapter 13 . 4/19/2009
I don't know, somehow this is...cute.
I absolutly love mean, manipulative Erik. And that conversation between Nadir and Christine.
Oh, and I hope your internet gets fixed soon ]
I hope you can overlook the...weirdness of this review...I think those cans of energydrinks start to affect me...
| Chapucera chapter 13 . 4/19/2009
I just loved the humor in this chapter! Youll have to do a one-shot on Erik in Anger Management. I bet he WOULD kill his counselor in the end.
Erik as the circus ringleader? Yes - or a puppeteer. Hes extremely manipulative, and he doesnt like to be made light of, does he?
Poor Nadir - is he really banished forever?
And now Eriks left Christine alone. Maddening fellow.
Thank you for this wonderfully-written update. I just love this story, and Im so glad youve soldiered on and written this in spite of all the difficulties youre having with your Internet connection.