|Reviews for Old|
| cherryheads chapter 1 . 1/14
hello, you have a good angst-y story and all but I just want to tell you that you need to be consistent on the point of view. Especially on sakura's. Sometimes you use first person (sakura as 'me;) but other times you use 'she' to refer to her. and it's confusing to say the least. I mean i found in one paragraph that you use different pov in 2 sentences in a row.
| SasuSaku's baby chapter 1 . 11/13/2012
You have so many good stories! Why did I find them just now!
I love it! I hope you will update it!
| santh13 chapter 1 . 3/4/2012
Please please update asap...how long are u going to make us wait...u wrote such a wonderful chapter that the anticipation is killing me...let us know if ur discontinuing but please don't
| Simon chapter 1 . 1/26/2012
Can I be honest with you? As others have said before me, I think you're trying too hard. I feel like since this story has gotten so many reviews for just ONE chapter, that you feel as if it should be perfect and very descriptive. While being descriptive is a good thing, because it paints a clear picture in the reader's minds, I think you've over-done it. You've repeated yourself several times and it takes away from the story. Before you deny any of this, you've published this story on 8-24-2008, and it's taken you YEARS to just re-edit the first chapter... which it didn't even NEED to in the first place. It's just unnecessary, okay? Reader's prefer authors that update on a regular basis and keep their word. I read your author's note at the ending of the story, and while you promised to update in a week if you get many reviews, you didn't. I'm getting an attention-whore vibe from you honestly. I think you just want all the reviews to praise your short first chapter that doesn't even deserve all these reviews.
If you truly care about this story, or your faithful reviewers, I suggest that you actually take this seriously and not try so hard. Just ease up a little, okay? That being said, it's just my opinion. Personally, I think you're an okay writer. Not the best, but definitely not the worst. I can sort of see why you've gotten all the reviews for just one short chapter. Some people like the whole... 'angst' thing. But, regardless, there's sooo much better stories out there with much longer paragraphs and authors that keep their word and not update this story for YEARS on end. I just think it's kinda pathetic that it's taken you years trying to perfect any mistake in this chapter. IT'S FINE. Can you just please move on?
I'm just saying. People will lose interest in this story if you just leave it like this. But, whatever. It's your life. Oh, and I'm not a "hater" I'm just stating my opinion. Thanks.
| sakura4eva chapter 1 . 1/3/2012
PLEASE REPOST THE OLD STORY ATLEAST , I PREFERED THAT ONE SOO MUCH THIS ONE IS TOO WORDY ... at points i skipped paragraphs sorry well done though i just think you should stick with the old or atleast put it back up ! xx
| sasukeandsakura4eva chapter 1 . 1/3/2012
| mimi shotatade chapter 1 . 1/3/2012
hi hi , i like the new version a bit but im soo confused , unlike the old version , which went straight into the story and it left a cliff hangeer is well , it was also very sad ... I MISS IT ! BRING IT BACK
| sas and sak chapter 1 . 1/3/2012
omg what happen to the other one ... i kind of prefer the other one , this one is too confusing , it hard to understand what happens ? :s sorry atleast i really want to see the old send it to me !
| I.L.U.38 chapter 1 . 11/14/2011
it's such a good opening for a fuckin' awesomely written story xD
but then, exactly when are you going to update anyways?
| Breezybiatch chapter 1 . 9/22/2011
I like you. But you're to wordy. This story reminds me of my class assignments that required me to write with a long list of new vocabulary. You over do it, I end up skipping passages because I'm sick off all this angelic/dark abyss repetition you've got going on every other sentece. I just want to scream "I get it! Please move on!" The plot is lost underneath endless descriptions of the same emotions.
| Mars chapter 1 . 7/31/2011
The idea appeals to me, but it's too wordy. You try too hard. I'm sure all the middle schoolers that overun applaud you, foreign vocabulary impresses them, but not me. You try TOO HARD, you almost seem desperate with detail, but in the end the descriptive words arrange some distorted image in my mind I can't make sense of. You remind me of myself perhaps a decade ago with my vocabulary list, struggling to fit in all 20 new words into a paragraph. Cool it. It detracts from the story. It's too emotional for most people. Emotional as in EMO, like that song "my life is spiraling downward into a dark abyss".
| mitsuki0tennyo chapter 1 . 6/29/2011
It's more mysterious then it's predecessor but that's good. I like how you portray Sakura, Sasuke to but especially Sakura's dream. I hope it is not a premonition of things to come.
P.S. Also you mind want to remind people who've already reviewed to use anonymous reviewer option if they already left a signed review in the past.
| chococats4444 chapter 1 . 4/23/2011
OMG plz update
Itz so interesting!
| 1 chapter 1 . 4/11/2011
| Ksqu4rd chapter 1 . 2/5/2011
Needs moarrrr xDDD
It's so good! You capture emotions really well and I really really want too see where you go with this story :)