|Reviews for Chance v2|
| Atka-Jane chapter 6 . 8/5/2014
I thought I would like this story. But truth be told, I don't understand a thing. Is there a back story somewhere that I should have read before reading this fic cuz I simply do NOT understand what's going on! It's confusing and there's too much gape of a hole for me to try to even fill with interest.
The story itself is not bad at all. Great English, great story telling but it's frustrating cuz its not understandable. Please link me to a back story so I can enjoy this fic better. I want to keep up with this. I see a chance of RuHana. Also I see that this is not some teenage fluffy fic but it touches on marriage and grownup romance and the heartbreaks and betrayals and all and it would really be an interesting, indulging read if ONLY I could understand what's going on.
story wise, it's great. in making sense-wise, it needs improvement. all the best! :)
| queenieisthename chapter 5 . 4/16/2013
and now even ayako and rukawa have an angle! curiouser and curiouser...and yanagi appears with haruko again. i wonder if the two of them actually matters in the story at all, they seem to be a bit...disconnected? but yeah let's see. ayako seems to know something. and even though miyagi and mitsui patched up, the possibility of anything is still there.
btw, i like this part:
He is iron. He is fighting. But some battles are lost before they are fought. Rukawa lets go of the ball and drops to the polished ground. He takes his face in both hands.
She sits down right beside him. "I don't know if she can be saved. And I'm not sure whether she's the only one who needs saving," Ayako murmurs.
| queenieisthename chapter 4 . 4/16/2013
yanagi didn't really interest me before but her sudden connection with haruko kinda piqued me. hmmm...so she isn't just a random oc huh. and the ayakoxmiyagixmitsui plot thickens! i hope things pick up now coz it's actually getting exciting. and another thing, i'm starting to notice this little thing in your writing style, like the way you suspend the scene by holding out on who the character involved is for a while. cool.
| queenieisthename chapter 3 . 4/16/2013
ooookay...so ayako and miyagi are married? what is this ayakoxmiyagi tension? the ayakoxmiyagixmitsui triangle is something i'd wanna watch out for. little snippet about kogure is a little out of place. is there some kinda angle you want to dig here? and i like the sakuragi and rukawa interaction. simple and meaningful without the cheesiness. they all stay somehow in character.
| queenieisthename chapter 2 . 4/16/2013
i swear i've heard that sky quote somewhere...i totally love rukawa's reaction to it. the mitsuixayako angle is also interesting. and sakuragi appears! he even has a son. i'm kinda curious as to why he seems to hate basketball now (to the point that he doesn't want to look at what i presume is the court). some beta-ing is still needed though. a few minor grammar mistakes.
| queenieisthename chapter 1 . 4/16/2013
i think i've read this fic before and it totally sucked (sorry bro) BUT this revised version is definitely a huge improvement. for one, the grammar is better. this prologue is hella better than i remember the previous version to be. so maybe this time i'll read on. ;P
| mrsklemzak chapter 5 . 4/11/2013
Um wow this is amazing! Bits are a bit confusing, but I will fave and follow anyway. :) I live the multi-person inclusion, its not just about one or two.
I don't remember reading the original, I got into SD a couple years ago. I'll look it up. It's always good to start over. This seems promising. Keep it up!
PS:for the love of all that's holy, I hope and pray to the fanfic gods there will have Akira Sendoh himself in at least one chapter. And no, the daughter of Sakuragi and Haruko isn't enough. I need my spiky haired, blue eyed hentai grinning Sendoh freaking Akira!
| Iron Duke chapter 7 . 11/20/2008
| Kaiser Washington chapter 5 . 10/25/2008
This chapter was rather subtle. Very, in fact. I'm curious- who's the 'She'?
| Iron Duke chapter 4 . 10/6/2008
Uhh...Gori and NBA in the same sentence? you make me curious :P
Just make sure Mitsui don't take Aya-chan away :D
Keep up the good work!
| Kaiser Washington chapter 4 . 10/1/2008
Ah, a reunion. That bodes well for me, seeing as I like all the Shohoku characters in one place. :P
So the ruinion's going to be at Mitchy's house? That's great.
So update soon.
| nutellafueled chapter 3 . 9/15/2008
Well, at least things are still hunky dory for Kogure and Mitsui ;)
I guess the Ayako and Miyagi thing is understandable. "I love you" seems like such a Miyagi thing!
You might want to add a title to your first chapter.. XD unless it was called Chapter 1 on purpose?
And Sakuragi is making me more and more curious.
| Iron Duke chapter 3 . 9/10/2008
keep it up :D
| Kaiser Washington chapter 2 . 9/8/2008
Your writing is certainly a lot better than the last story of yours I've read. But there's still room for improvement. For instance in a few places in the prologue as well as this chapter you've used the present tense when it should have been the past. And you've missed a preposition somewhere in the prologue, which you may or may not correct. Just reread it and I think it'll become manifest. And there's no such thing as 'anguishly' by the way, since anguish is a noun. Anyway, you'd better pay more attention while writing.
| Iron Duke chapter 2 . 8/29/2008
nice, ryo and aya are married :D, the story seems cool so far, keep up the good work