|Reviews for Marauders Motto|
| Guest chapter 1 . 3/9/2013
| Morghen chapter 1 . 6/16/2010
Haha, this is really good! I love the how you show that Sirius really didn't value Peter's opinion on anything; too many people make them seem like best friends when it says in the book that he was more of a tag-a-long. Hehe, I loved the ending! Go James!
| lydiamaartin chapter 1 . 7/12/2009
I love the friendship you portray between the Marauders. You might want to look into getting a beta for grammar, punctuation, and the like, but the concept is very good.
Good job, and keep writing!
| verity candor chapter 1 . 3/30/2009
Good oneshot, but maybe work on grammar and formatting...
| Dejsha's World chapter 1 . 10/7/2008
Nice and short:d very cool, i love the way you portray the Marauders:d
| xoxcrescentmoonxox chapter 1 . 9/24/2008
First of all, I love the idea you have here, and your story is really cute, especially the end, when James goes off seize Lily :) You have some problems with punctuation and formatting, though, that take away from the story.
ex: what you have - Remus chose this moment to look him from his book “Study like your suppose to then” he said. Sirius looked at him shocked “Me study” he said “Never” he stated then he grinned.
It should probably be something like:
Remus chose this moment to look at him from his book. "Study like you're supposed to, then," he said.
Sirius looked at him, shocked. "Me, study?" he said. "Never," he stated, then he grinned.
Have you ever considered getting a beta? They could help you with grammar as well as tightening up your story lines and everything; I think that woul dreally help you.
| Madame Tortilla chapter 1 . 9/23/2008
Well, this was a lovely drabble. I especially liked the last part where James jumps to 'go seize the day', or was it Lily Evans? xD Congrats for the outstanding motto, it suits the Marauders just fine.
| mackgirl chapter 1 . 9/22/2008
LOL This was really cute great job.
| Lady Altair chapter 1 . 9/14/2008
A scene I could definitely imagine happening for the Marauders...it was interesting, but perhaps you might've tied it down a little tighter? Made it clear why the motto was so appropriate? Because it is a nice motto, but why does it apply? That's an interesting question you could answer, and would make for a stronger piece!
You do have issues with punctuation...it's a little hard to read, especially with the punctuation around the quotes. There were a few instances where a question was being asked and I couldn't tell, without the punctuation to mark it and I had to go back and reread just to be sure...a question without the proper punctuation looks like an awkwardly phrased statement.
There's room for improvement, but not a bad piece by any means! Good luck and keep writing!
| ChocolateMilk2 chapter 1 . 8/30/2008
Umm okay- I liked it.
However, I think you could do better, and there were some grammatical issues; paragraphing when a new character speaks, commas and other means of punctuation- particularly with question marks at the end of speaking parts.
Also; in some areas your characters seemed a bit flat. However, I liked the reamphasis of the motto with Lily. Am thinking that the plot seems a little dull, some magic, seeing as this is Harry Potter?
But that's just me. Keep up the good work... :)
| Gaby Black chapter 1 . 8/27/2008
That was rather nice; thanks for writing it.
| BetaGuy chapter 1 . 8/25/2008
Not bad, not good.