|Reviews for The Legacy of Paneau: Renewal|
| Verity Kindle chapter 14 . 12/2/2008
"You'd only get that kind of action, Emp, if you were the last man standing."
INAPPROPRIATE! That's your boss's wife and future Queen of Paneau, scooter. Mental image! ick. He was quietly let go later and replaced with a lookalike from the Rystihn family hiring department...XD
Also...Elena's had one frackin' long day. she FINALLY get a nap! So magnanimous. )
| Alli chapter 3 . 11/13/2008
Koril crazy pansy.
Also, Rech's final challenge was slightly confusing. But still, another fun and irritatingly cliff-hanging chapter.
| Alli chapter 2 . 11/13/2008
Hahaha, I like the Captain. Rech and Mand's exchange seemed good, but a little...twilight-esque...hahaha. But all in all, good.
| Verity Kindle chapter 9 . 10/21/2008
aw. that. is. socute. ack.
| Verity Kindle chapter 8 . 10/16/2008
Holy crap. It's real. it HAS A NAME. AND IT IS HORATIO'S PET.
Congratulations, you just blew my freaking mind. ZOMG!1!
| Verity Kindle chapter 7 . 10/8/2008
"She sighed, standing from her seat. She began to leave, but one last thought stopped her, and she turned back to him with a blank expression once more. "We all made a lot of sacrifices to find you. It would be nice if you made some kind of effort in return."
Oh, burn! Somebody get that man a very large bandaid, please. Ouch. :;does a little dance:: Build a bridge and get over it, Koril! yay Mand! yay Koril! Yay Force Ghosts!
Mental Image: Noor, Qui-Gon Jinn and Tascit discussing Koril at their Tuesday night poker game...
| Verity Kindle chapter 6 . 9/23/2008
"Horatio Sheridan stood at the window with his arm crossed over his chest and his other fist at his mouth, his gaze firmly fixed on one lone backlit window on the fourth floor of the nearest building."
Very well-constructed sentence and transitions into the new scene really well from the last chapter.
Yay for Koril pulling his head out of his bum!
| Verity Kindle chapter 5 . 9/17/2008
"As much as Mand wanted to say yes to lighten Veon's sullen expression, she at the same time didn't want to give him false hope. Koril faced an extremely long recovery, made all that more difficult by his depression. Sighing quietly, she squeezed Veon's hand."
I don't think "sullen" is the word you're looking for here. Maybe "serious" or "strained" would be better choices.
Everything else is very good. Although, in the last scene with Elena and Koril, it might be better to get all the guards, nurses and various hangers-on and assistants to go away so that they can have family time? Elena, being a very private person, probably would shove everyone out of the room With The Force before she let them see her cry and plead with Koril. )
I also liked how she was like "Hell no, you are not allowed to die!" that was awesome.
| Verity Kindle chapter 4 . 9/8/2008
Elena! Kicking ass and taking names! YEAH! Holy crap, that was cool!
| Verity Kindle chapter 3 . 9/6/2008
WTF! WTFWTF! Sile, have you lost your mind? What? Koril just made himself die. basically? Srsly...fetalpositionfloor...NOT COOLargh!
| Verity Kindle chapter 1 . 8/27/2008
Is Derek going to become a tiny Suri Cruise? Ep! )