|Reviews for The Master Sword Chronicles|
| tikitikirevenge chapter 4 . 9/8/2008
From what little I remember of the Fire Temple from OoT you've stayed very faithful to the layout of the place. Not to mention that you managed to describe a fair number of doors, walls and elevators without getting monotonous, which is a commendable feat in itself.
The two fight scenes were well described, and just from this chapter I'm getting a sense of your combat writing style. It's fairly detached for the most part, never delving into the emotions of the fight so that it can deliver a clean blow-by-blow account instead (one that I'd imagine would be ridiculously cluttered otherwise).
Watch the paragraph lengths. Most of the time they're not intrusive, but when the action gets really excited I can tell that you as an author are getting into the actions as well because the the detail and the pacing skyrocket, which is a Very Good thing - just bear in mind that what looks good in a word processor or on paper doesn't always fit as nicely onto an internet browser window.
IMHO, any paragraph much longer than 120-130 words becomes difficult for the eye to follow. For the most part you stay comfortably within that range, but on the occasions you slip past the threshold it becomes very tempting just to skim over that section. It's not a hard and fast rule by any means, but spacing is something you should keep in mind when you're sitting there writing, your mind enters the proverbial 'zone' and the words start flying.
Characterisation is strong, both in the Goron (apologies for not trying to spell his name) and with Link. If I had one complaint about the characters as they are, it's that I don't get much of a sense of what Link's like as a person. Yes, he's enjoying his newfound freedom, and yes it's a nice reversal to have him come from a busy city and not some backwater village, but at this stage in the story he's still pretty much the same generic green-clad kid tossed into impossible circumstances that we see in every Zelda game. What sets him apart? What makes this boy unique? As a writer you've got far more opportunity to explore him at a personal level than any game designer would, so I hope to see you fully exploit the potential of this marvelous character.
Anyway, good chapter as usual, (insert adjective here) writing, but I'm sure you don't need reviewers to tell you that you're on to something here. Keep it up.
| tikitikirevenge chapter 2 . 8/29/2008
Your prose is excellent, and your characters believable (at least, so far...). I'm looking forward to seeing where you take this.