Reviews for Desperate
hopeisabluebird chapter 1 . 1/29/2009
I just wanted to say that this is one of my very favorite fanfics... And I've read a lot of fanfic. I hope you don't mind if I write a long (novel-length) review, but I really want you to know why I love this story so much.

Part of it probably has to do with how much I was disappointed in Breaking Dawn. Although it was fun getting part of the story from Jacob's perspective, I really felt like the reader lost a vital connection with both the Cullen family and Bella during those crucial months of her pregnancy. After all, Jacob is not exactly the best or most objective authority for knowing how Bella or Alice or (especially) Rosalie feel during this situation...

All that to say, I love how you've written Rosalie in this. I love the part when she meets Bella at the airport and feels the heartbeat of the baby in her stomach. I adore chapter fourteen when Bella asks Rose to take care of the baby. I love the chapter with Alice (what's up with Alice barely being in BD anyway?).

I really feel like you've tapped into the consciousness of what it means to be a part of a family in this fic. Soemetimes I think SM focused too obsessively on Edward and Bella (for instance, even though the reader is told that Alice and Bella are best friends, I can count on one hand the amount of times in the books that SM actually describes Alice and Bella spending time just the two of them). So, I love how you've widened the focus of the story to include the entire Cullen family, something I think was missing from BD.

And as for the whole "getting pregnant thing"... Well, you're handling that well too. :o)
Iyeshana chapter 14 . 1/25/2009
This story is something completely different from the other fics I've read. While your Rosalie may not be completely alike to the Rosalie I imagine, you capture her emotions very well. The story was very interesting in the beginning, but is beginning to slow down a bit. I like Rosalie and Bella's relationship...not so much Alice's.

I am curious as to where this story is going :)
lilyoftheval5 chapter 14 . 1/13/2009
I'm glad I get to read this, Rosalie's 'redemption'. I did need that, so thank you.
granular chapter 14 . 1/5/2009
Wow. Just... wow. I don't know what to say. Spectacular.
Verolina chapter 14 . 1/3/2009
WOW! i am in shock! like wow! okay u seriously made me see rosalie differently. I like...like her now! wow yo my friend are very .

I love that you are writing this. Holidays are over for now...But i will wait patiently for the next chapter. Or at least ill try haha.
Juliejuliejulie chapter 14 . 1/3/2009
Yes, yes, absolutely yes. I LOVE that Emmett is so tender, and Rosalie's admission of what Bella calling her "Rose" does to her. It's not just the true desperation of Rosalie, but every single one of the Cullens. It is SO SATISFYING to read this story, to fill in the Cullens' experience of Bella's pregnancy, and how it threatens to divide them, and challenge them and push them in all of these interesting ways.

Are you going to finish it through the birth?

As always, wonderful storytelling...and a zillion thanks for all of the suggestions on other fan fics. Even more things I won't get done because I'm reading all night...
Verolina chapter 11 . 1/3/2009
I have a question, I know i still have three chapters to go but what about when the baby spoke to edward. maybe ill get it in the next three chapters i dont know. But so far i love your story. Like i said in twilight fan fiction and art website you made me actually kinda have a soft spot for rosalie and that is something big haha. love your story!
Juliejuliejulie chapter 1 . 12/30/2008
Oh my gosh, this is so heartbreakingly sad! But what a wonderful first chapter! I'm at work, reading fan fiction when I should be cataloging books, but I've been so appreciative of your list of favorite fan fiction stories (which have in turn, become some of my favorite stories) that I had to write a quick comment.

I really love your writing style. You completely understand the nature of the characters and capture these wonderful moments that only make me cherish them more. I'm sort of new to this world of fan fiction and am trying to be a better writer. Stories like yours are so inspiring and make me want to delve deeper into the backstories...to make the interactions more real. Your idea for the photo album is perfect-at first I was picturing Rosalie scrapbooking and it made me laugh, but when I realized what she was doing it made me so sad. What an adept way to describe her loss and yearning. Plus it gives Emmett more depth and shows the level of his love and patience for Rosalie.

I'd love more suggestions of good, satisfying fan fiction-more listings please?

Wow, this is so wonderful. I can't wait to read the rest. Thanks so much for posting your stories! Yay, more fabulous stories to distract me!
Hidingsorealpeoplecantfindouta chapter 14 . 12/30/2008
Great Chapterness! Good job!
borntodanceninefour chapter 7 . 12/30/2008
Sorry! That last review got messed up. Let me redo it. (:P)

Ah! I am BEYOND excited right now! I found this story on ramblingsandthoughts the other day, and I immediately read through it and favorited it. I thought you had only up to chapter 6 done, and I was (impatiently XD) awaiting the next chapter. Tonight, I stumbled upon your review for some random story I was skimming through, and I thought your penname sounded interesting, as was your review for that story. (The Broken, chapter 8). Intrigued, I followed onto your profile, astonished to find that many of your stories looked familiar. Then I saw 'Desperate' and I got so excited, because I finally realized who you were. Yay!

Now I'm going to go enjoy the rest of this story that I haven't already read. And I'll also favorite it and alert it so that I can read all the chapters here first. :D

Xoxo,

Michelle (:
borntodanceninefour chapter 6 . 12/30/2008
Ah! I am BEYOND excited right now! I found this story on ramblingsandthoughts the other day, and I immediately readand I thought you had only
BabelFish42 chapter 14 . 12/25/2008
You know, when you started this fic, I was expecting a lot of interesting insight into Rosalie’s head, and a moderate amount of insight into what the rest of the Cullens. But I wasn’t expecting /nearly/ this much of an in-depth look into Edward’s thoughts. In the canon, all Jacob ever seemed to notice (at least, all that sticks out in my memory) is that Edward was a ‘burning man.’ But this… this goes a lot deeper into his character. And I like it. I like it very much :-)

Of course, everything with Rosalie is excellent too, not that I expected anything less. Especially the part about how, even though she’s Bella’s ally, she still struggles with jealously, and it’s still hard to watch Bella have something she can never have.

And Bella…. wow. I loved the way you portrayed her in this chapter. If I were in her shoes, I’d probably be a little resentful of Rosalie’s less-than-selfless motives for helping her. But she’s not. Instead, she’s so understanding and compassionate.

“Edward may never understand, even if he can read minds, but I think I do.”

Awesome, awesome line. And very Bella.

This was another great chapter, and I’m looking forward to the next one. Hope you had a great Christmas!

-Rachel
BabelFish42 chapter 13 . 12/25/2008
First of all THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for writing this! :-) I know I already said that in a PM, but it was worth repeating. Yes, I was swamped in worked, and reading this was a wonderful way to procrastinate for a little while. Plus… you know I love Carlisle. And there is a shortage of good Carlisle fanfic. (Really, there’s kind of a shortage of good fanfic involving anyone besides Edward and Bella, but that’s beside the point.) And you produced not one but /two/ awesome, insightful chapters featuring some of his thoughts. So muchas gracias.

Good portrayal of Edward, by the way. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned that before, but you’re doing a good job with him all through this story. I like the way Rosalie keeps making such keen observations about his emotional state (or deterioration, you might say), like the way all the life and hope have slowly drained out of his voice, but then pushes those thoughts away, trying to convince herself that he’s just being overly-pessimistic as usual. Great character development.

Speaking of which… on to Carlisle. Yay. Just yay. I mean, not yay about the way he’s feeling so helpless, but yay about the way you delved into his thoughts. Allow me to highlight a few of my favorites. :-)

“I don’t want to convince her to change her mind. I want her to take everything into consideration.”

Sigh. Yep. He probably would. Which is hard to watch when people aren’t making the decision you think they should… but what else can you do, as a doctor, as a friend, as a person?

“Anyone else, I could save. But not my own daughter.”

Ouch. This makes me think of Useless for some reason. Well, no, not for /some/ reason, I know exactly what the reason is. It absolutely sucks to see someone else suffering and dying, and not be able to do a thing to help them.

“You are on everyone’s side…. You are the only one who can see them all.””

I really liked this too. Kinda like a few chapters ago, when Bella asks him what side he’s on, and he says ‘sides?’

*contented sigh* Anyway… I also really liked the way Rosalie started to doubt herself and her motives there at the end, and then how Emmett comes and reassures her. Beautiful.

Great work!

-Rachel
BabelFish42 chapter 12 . 12/25/2008
MERRY CHRISTMAS NIKKI! Remember I mentioned there was a reason I haven’t written any reviews for you in a while? Well, this is it. :-) I couldn’t think of anything else to get you for Christmas (short of being a creepy stalker and going through illegal channels to figure out your address), so here are a few long-overdue reviews. Enjoy! ;-) (Oh yeah, and if you end up getting these late tonight, it’s because I’m actually writing them in the car on the way to my grandma’s house- don’t worry, I’m not driving- and I won’t have an internet connection until I get back home.)

So this chapter… I cannot tell a lie. It doesn’t leave me with happy Alice-Rosalie feelings either. But in all honesty, that’s probably how it should be. There did not seem to be a lot of Alice-Rosalie love going around in this part of BD. In fact, I seem to remember Alice and Jacob making some half-hearted joke about how Edward was going to tear Rosalie apart, and how they could help him. So don’t worry about the lack of warm fuzzy feelings, or the way Rose views Alice… not-so-favorably. That was to be expected here. Oh, and thanks for recommending Human. I /loved/ that story, and , at the time, it gave me an excuse to put off studying that much longer.

Moving on… I like the way Rosalie thinks of Bella as part of her family. Yes, you’ve already established that in previous chapters, but it was nice to hear it again. And poor Bella, feeling guilty even though, like Rosalie says, she really shouldn’t be. Bella’s doing what she thinks is right in a situation with no easy options, she’s making ‘the choice she can live with.’

Hmm… though overall I don’t really agree with Rosalie’s evaluation of Alice, she does provide some interesting insight, like “Alice, with her gift, displayed some of the same arrogance that Edward did.” She’s right, of course, but that’s not something I noticed before, because most people (me included) seem to like Alice, and write her pretty favorably. I guess sometimes a person who isn’t your biggest fan is the best one for helping you notice your own flaws. At least, I know /my/ siblings are very good at that :-p

Anyways, good job! Thanks for finding the time to churn out chapters in spite of life’s craziness.

-Rachel
raggedyman-irememberyou chapter 14 . 12/25/2008
Merry Christmas! I decided that my present to everyone is to sit down and clear out my inbox by actually reviewing and replying to messages and such. I know, what a novel concept. But in order to do that I actually have to make this short. I keep saying that and then I don't. But, hey, there's a first time for everything.

Okay, wow. This chapter is really intense. I actually don't quite know how to react. Maybe because I've been immersed in the whole holly jolly Christmas thing for a few days and then reading this is just like... whoa. I'm amazed by my own non-verbosity. But don't get me wrong, I loved the chapter. It may be one of my favorites. I'm just not sure how to respond to it.

Again, I feel bad for Edward. This is starting to freak me out. :P But it's almost like it's two against one now. He's fighting to put Bella first while Bella and Rosalie are both putting the baby's well-being before Bella's life. I don't know.

I'm surprised that Bella would be so bold as to throw that right out there that she knew all along Rosalie's motive for doing this. Not surprised that she knew; as much as I dislike her, I have to give her credit for her intuition. And it's not exactly difficult to understand, anyway. But her boldness in approaching the topic is impressive.

I loved the ending to this chapter, even if it did almost make me cry. It was extremely moving. Bella is offering up everything Rose had ever wanted. But under the circumstances of her death... I don't know. It has to be so overwhelming for Rosalie though.

Okay, this was most definitely not my best review. It probably doesn't make sense. But I've been pretty much running on fumes ever since I came back from Neverland last week and nothing really makes sense coming out of my mouth right now, so I'm surprised that I actually strung togehther this many coherent sentences.

Anyhoo, great chapter, looking forward to more. Happy Holidays!

-Eileen
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