|Reviews for Same As It Never Was|
| Shizuka Taiyou chapter 6 . 3/9/2010
Ok. Going to new account.
| Yuro-Faita911 chapter 6 . 3/4/2010
Well I'm glad you're going to continue this
and Good luck at College!
over and out
| light spirit chapter 5 . 10/21/2009
When are ya gonna write a new chapter? I've been waiting for i think a little over a year. PLEASE WRITE A NEW CHAPTER! With no cliff hangers please
| z chapter 5 . 7/5/2009
So when r u going to continue. im begging u to. its so (words cant describe it) sad but yet i like to read it. plz continue.
| Evil E. Evil chapter 5 . 5/31/2009
| Shizuka Taiyou chapter 2 . 4/9/2009
| Shizuka Taiyou chapter 1 . 4/9/2009
| Xviera Siramad chapter 5 . 1/30/2009
That was cool. I'm just disapointed that when i got to the really good part, the chapter ended. Please update.
| Shizuka Taiyou chapter 5 . 12/29/2008
| Metalstrike chapter 5 . 10/26/2008
Oh snap! Suspense much? Anyway, this is a great chapter! When isn't Starscream sarcastic and crude about things?
So Prowl and Bulkhead taught Hope? I guess that Bulkhead would be on okay teacher, but Prowl? It seems weird, but it's nothing against you! Just ignore that. I was thinking out loud.
“What do you think fool? Even I know when it’s pointless to fight a battle when you’re outmatched...”
Sure Starscream...Ofcourse you do. That's why you're constantly trying to overthrow Megatron, right? Grief. PP you rock at slipping in Starscream's sarcasm in subtle places and it's always a perfect moment. You know that right?
Overall great concept and plot and character development! So is the Easter egg about Hope calling B.B. "Hotshot"? That's who he was supposed to be in early designing.
| Metalstrike chapter 4 . 10/26/2008
Eh.. It was ...uneventful, but I guess it was crucial for your OC to be introduced. She doesn't seem Mary Sueish, so that's good! Is Hope a hacker or something?
| Chaos Wielder chapter 5 . 10/26/2008
Hi, it's me again! I just changed my name since Chaos is the one I use on YIM. So yeah, I was reviewing under the name RWG earlier. ;)
Interesting chapter here. Oh, and I wouldn't worry about Hope being a Mary Sue. She isn't showing any traits of that kind of character right now, so I think you're good to go. With a little more development she'll be awesome in no time, but yeah, she's off to a good start so far, I think. ;)
Here are my comments for the chapter. I think this one improved drastically over your other ones:
[“I’m sorry!” Hope suddenly blurted; making Bumblebee to glance in her direction. She leapt up from her spot and quickly waved her arms in an apologetic, yet exasperated, manner as she continued, “I didn’t mean to laugh! I just didn’t expect you to have such a cute name!”]
-All that needs to be fixed here is 1. the semi colon-it should be a comma 2. That comma after exasperated could probably be removed and 3. I think the comma after continued is a typo? It should be a period, I think.
[But that didn’t mean that it was a bit awkward.]
-Shouldn't 'was' be 'wasn't'? ;)
[“So you built that?” He asked, not expecting Hope to jerk her head upward suddenly the way she did. It was like that she was so intensely focused that she had forgotten about the yellow mech was sitting beside her.]
-I think you had a typo there? ('He' supposed to be 'he') Nothing too much-it's minor, but meh...
[To me, you look more like a ‘Hotshot.’ Heh heh...,” Hope sprightly reasoned as she leaned against the wall and slid back down to the floor level.]
-How weird...I heard that the character Bumblebee was originally supposed to be Hot Shot in the early production of the cartoon! XD Cool.
[“Relax shrimp,” Starscream ‘assuringly’ replied as he examined his injury in an uncaring manner without bothering to look at Bumblebee once. “Those glitches are skilled enough to keep up with my superb flying tactics. The malfunctions give up the chase when they lost sight their prey anyway. Obviously insistence wasn’t held in processor when that foolish bag of bolts, Megatron, built those nuisances.”]
-Starscream being himself...how lovely. ;P He's so proud sometimes, but that's why we love him.
But yeah, the errors were so minor that they're almost not even worth mentioning this time around. I wish I could help you out more besides just pointing out little grammatical mistakes, but the concept is solid and your characters are portrayed well, so that's all I can find. XP Keep that up-you're doing better!
| turtlegirl chapter 4 . 10/14/2008
this chap 'was' a bit boring ...can't wait till you update thou! And it's pretty awesome ta know another Yoraee fan -
Again, don't make the fic EXACTLY like the tmnt episode, add a little surprise to .
| RWG chapter 4 . 9/27/2008
Interesting chapter. So now we're introduced to your OC. So far so good. :)
I can see that you tried to clean some things up with this chapter. I don't think I saw as many errors in this one as I did in your last few, so it seems like this one improved. Good job.
Still, though, I saw a few little errors, but they really weren't that bad:
[But of course he did not stop there, “He found somewhere to conceal his anger, even try to throw it away. But unchecked anger is always the most dangerous. It still tries to strut about, despite being a shackled beast. All it takes is a small irregular, unexpected moment to upset the balance and an un-maintainable situation is born. You,” Starscream explained inimically and raised a long index digit towards Bumblebee once more, “are just the small catalyst to do so.”]
You could probably put a period where that first comma is. Also, the comma after 'more' needs to be a period. The "Are" in the quotes should also be capitalized.
[“Silly me. I had forgotten about these bourgeoisies,” Starscream drawled he raised one of the gray disks and examined it with a grudging contempt; “I supposed I should go now, shouldn’t I?”]
Replace that semi-colon with a period.
[Bulkhead became too much of a seemingly pacifist and didn’t even want to hear Bumblebee talk about any attempt against Megatron, Prowl, if what Starscream concluded was true, would probably amputate a servo if Bumblebee came anywhere near him, and Starscream...Starscream just couldn’t be trusted.]
You need a period in between 'Megatron' and 'Prowl'.
[Lug- uh...Bulkhead’s dull faceplate expressed a worn, yet stern tone when Bumblebee looked over to him. He waited a moment before continuing (perhaps to be sure that the younger mech was actually paying attention) but patiently began soon after, “I’m going to survey the area for any surviving humans, so I’ll be back soon.”]
A period should be in the place of that comma in 'after'.
[Listening to Bulkhead, Bumblebee felt himself frown after processing what was being said. “So...you’re leaving?” He asked hesitantly.]
'He' should be lower cased.
[The Humans were giving him as well a welcome as Prowl. No smiles or even unexpressive faces; only squints and glares followed him and his movements.]
Unless you have them listed as a certain group (like Autobots or Decepticons), 'Humans' should probably be lower-cased.
[Her bulgy over-shirt almost similar colored as her protein strands, folded in a few creases as she sat back, “I guess I should be more careful where I leave my projects. But I really wasn’t expecting a giant robot to sit on it though...Hope...” She gave a small smile and looked up to Bumblebee.]
'Back' should have a period.
[“My name’s Hope,” She explained as she poked a small portion metal in her hand. Curiously, she glanced back to Bumblebee after a few moments, “What’s yours?”]
'She' should be lower-cased and you had a period issue before the second quotes again.
Well...heh...I know it really probably looks like you have just as many errors as the last chapter, but they weren't as glaring this time, so it's cool. You're getting there, so soon enough you'll probably have chapters that I won't have to point errors out at anymore. :) I still enjoyed the chapter, though...I can't wait to see what's in store for Bumblebee and this new 'Hope' girl. XD
| Tugera chapter 1 . 9/24/2008
This is interesting. Nice idea.
I wonder what's happened to everyone else.. Glad Prowl's still online, too...