Reviews for Be careful what you wish for
The Reality DumPer chapter 18 . 5/11/2012
Oh.,i thought it wasnt finished yet when I followed it. But don't you think it's to0 Mato centric, mato doing all the battles? Ranma couldve done it too,.
The Reality DumPer chapter 13 . 5/10/2012
Well, you did pretty darn well... But I think your ANs just took m0st of the space and the story seemed to be just the commercial. Why do you have to put it there for the world to see anyway? I'm not really complaining, but I guess I am..haha
Mat49324 chapter 3 . 6/18/2009
It is horrible. You're a loser with a lame life for writing this. your chapters are too long and too boring. Read and review my story "The date with Nabiki?" so you can see what a real writer can do. If you're smart enough and can find my story that is.









Ganheim chapter 5 . 4/26/2009
it's familiar weight pressing against her back.

[_its_ is the possessive, _it’s_ is the contraction]


[An empty ellipsis tells the audience nothing, hence why I recommend not using this. Does she fume? Stand ramrod straight in shock? Does she gasp or suck in a breath of surprise? This doesn’t give any clue]

saturday morning, june

[Capitalization: Saturday, June]


[What is this? An onomatopoeia? It doesn’t seem to match _anything_, and so is undescriptive]

martial arts genious


hole, which ment


horribly embaressing reality


buzzing almost pleasently.


"I just hope your bedroom is still where I remember it."

[Is still? If he knows all that stuff about the Saotomes and Tendos and such, wouldn’t he also have this information?]

Chapter 2

There were several large, very painful looking, red handprints on his face. "I'll survive."

[Points 1]

I don't think so jackass.

[Missing comma after ‘so’]

"Since when did you have a pigtail?"

[Since he wasn’t enough an amalgamation of preexisting characters?]

Thanks, I was just thinking to myself 'how can I suffer a massive concussion today?' and guess what? There it is.

[Points 1]

Chapter 3

"Do you mind? You haven't brushed your teeth yet, and you weren't exactly drinking perfume."

[How (rudely) amusing. ‘Guess Ryouga isn’t the only one with halitosis]


[Unnecessary empty ellipsis]

her hands ontop

[on top]

Chapter 4


[Extremely lame abuse of…no, this isn’t even a semblance of bad Japanese, this is just corny mistyped laughter]

Silence Speaks- First of all; Wow. Glad you spent the time doing that review, as it were. Kinda sad that since you'll never come back here, you won't read this...

[Unfortunately, I’d have to agree: there’s too much of forcing things along without any sensible development]

Chapter 5

"Yes I did!"

"No you didn't!"

"No I didn't!"

"Yes you did!"

"Ha! Ok, you're right, fair enough."

[I don’t know which this reminds me of more, loony toons or Monty Python’s argument sketch]

not-late-and-trying-to-act-natural-to-cover-for-it-so-stop-staring-at-me-jackass position.

[Hey, I see people do that all the time!]

Sometimes it's smashing your life against another person's life.

[Beating that bully’s fists with your face?]

Soylent Green is people.

[Good book, and surprisingly the movie wasn’t bad either]

Zero's dies a dozen times, they were all practice deaths.

[Lelouch, or Suzaku?]

Ranma's more of a Sue-marie am I right?

[You mean Marty Stu? No, but this ‘Mato’ isn’t looking to be breaking out of the ‘Marty Stu’ category any time soon, and this opening stage is the most important part]
Teturo chapter 5 . 11/30/2008
I generally don't comment on stories that are complete. I will make an exception for this chapter as I break out my pipe and slip into fruedian mode.

So then please tell me what you really think of Genma Saotome.

I swear I really did have to pick myself off the floor after I finished laughing from that part of the chapter.
The Azure Penguin chapter 18 . 11/27/2008
This is such a belated review. :( Stupid flu, it got me down for a week.

WOW, that ending was unexpected. The fight scene was way nice, I like how Mato finished the job with Ukyo's body. AND YAY FINALLY WE GET A SWEET MOMENT! The fact that I'm reading your sequel right now means that I don't have to toss and turn in bed agonizing about what would've happened because of the epilogue. [which gave some good bit of closure, with or without a sequel]

I'm so happy you're continuing the fic. Very very happy. Thank you for writing such a wonderful story. :)
Baitdcat chapter 18 . 11/21/2008
Now that epilogue was just ASKING for a sequel. Thank you, it was a story worth reading. ;)
SithKnight-Galen chapter 18 . 11/21/2008
Dang, then again, I am more into utilizing force chokes, I mean "nudges" over lynchings. After all, that whole rope and high place thing is so...impersonal and dark ages.

Well, good to see that Mato is true to form, even when he is free-falling and that dealing with the devil takes on a whole new meaning when it's the inter-dimensional "cleaner" re-writing the deals as he goes along.

So, now that you left the nice little hook about Ukyo, and now Mato's quest to find/rescue/berate her lack of judgement and reliance on listening to her hormones it seems...I guess I have to wait and see what you have planned with the next phase of your epic. I wonder if anyone else noticed that those pesky wish granting Dragonball thingys are now being handed out by the powers that be in a yummy gumball form...

Hmm, as for the popcorn, that must be some strong popcorn...hand it over or the rabid fangirls get shipped via Dimensional Hammerspace (patent pending)

Can't wait to see Mato kicking some more interdimensional kiester and handing out the smack like party favors.
Pryde Kitty chapter 18 . 11/21/2008
Thank you for this lovely Epilogue and showing once again how much of a sweet asshole Mato can be. Personally if I was into men I'd consider being with him, because of his amusing personaltiy. Unfortunately for him I am strictly into women )

Also, I hold the right to create a lynch mob if you don't get the new story done in a "reasonable" amount of time. LYNCH MOB I SAY! Well...maybe not...maybe I'll just go Crazy Mato Fangirl on you until you're so sick of hearing from me that you're FORCED to create a new continuation masterpiece!
Baitdcat chapter 17 . 11/19/2008
*sniff, sniff* all good things come to an end. I really love the story and I want a SEQUEL! Sweet, gushy moment between Ukyo and Mato there. Sad that he's gone. He's one awesome character. Thank you for the fun read!
MarieBaringer chapter 17 . 11/18/2008
Aw, I liked Mato! I'm so sad he died...*sniff sniff*

But it was a great story! I've enjoyed reading it-following since about the time you had seven chapters. :-) Yay for good stories!
SithKnight-Galen chapter 17 . 11/18/2008
I do hae to ask, "My God, what are you on?" but then again, i think I ask that of every mad author and their more tnan merely interesting ideas. So Mato kicked the big one ans is now allowed to sit back and relax for a few weeks before getting a new craptacular body to go with another, OMFGWTFBBQ Sauce assignment.

Well, that was cute and tender, in a bttersweet kinda way, so yeah, this kinda does deserve a sequel, after all, I'd really hate to bother with rounding up hordes of rabid fangirls, drug them all, utilize precious manpower and resources to have my minions bundle them in kawaii unsuspecting care packages, then ship them to your local neighborhood to watch them chase you down.

Heheh, and as far as death what's a good romance without a little bit of tragedy. My respect for you goes up a notch...maybe two. Good work, and pretty funny way to knock down an upstart demon. Keeps them from getting too muley.
transmigratory chapter 17 . 11/18/2008
Sweet battle scene. I wish I could write spars like that. Awesome.

But Mato dying was very sad. All these wonderful chapters really had me attached to the guy, and the new pairing...even if it is still illegal.

I'm going to miss him quite a bit. He's gotta be my favorite angel now. Not that I knew any angels before but...he'd still be my favorite.

Great story...

I will eagerly look forward to the epilogue.

...Or do I mean earnestly? Oh concludes another senseless rambling...
Pryde Kitty chapter 17 . 11/18/2008
I REALLY do love these characters you made, ESPECIALLY our resident badass spirit. I have to say though, that I can't wait for a sequel. If you don't make a sequel I'll just have to fill your stories with scathing reviews XD
James Birdsong chapter 17 . 11/18/2008
Yes. Exactly. Good writing and good plot etc. I guess you realize it.
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