|Reviews for Riding the Tail of a Dragon|
| truthsetfree chapter 1 . 7/24/2011
Very well written. Good insight on Snape.
| Flickerphile chapter 1 . 11/23/2009
Good introduction. Great parallel between the roller coaster right of passage to the Death Eaters' hazing. Nice metaphor with the broken roller coaster in Potter's house.
You repeat words too often in your writing. Paragraph 3 contains the word 'control' three times. Paragraph 8 uses the word 'missed' three times. Paragraph 9 has the word 'felt' five times.
Granted, your word repetition may be theme I am missing. However, if you work around those repeated words to find another way to express the idea, I bet you could create something wonderful.
Not many people are able to maintain such a long metaphor. You are clearly gifted with your unique style. Please understand constructive criticism is only submitted to guide your talent.
| WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot chapter 1 . 3/20/2009
I really loved the controlled prose here; the flash backs-flash presents, the scattered memories of Snape's youth, mingled with the darkness of the Death Eater ceremony, and all coalescing into his relationship with Lily. It's extraordinarily disorienting, but in a good way, like you're falling into his Pensieve. Really done to great effect here.
| mid20sfan86 chapter 1 . 10/16/2008
This is really good. Glad to have found it on the Review Lounge. It sucked me from the first paragraph to the end. I had to read it twice to understand it. Great job!
| WishIWasJKR chapter 1 . 10/4/2008
that is quite sad and moving.
i love how you use metaphors or watever you call it, like
"throwing up whiskey and hope" and the relation between whiskey in his veins to the roller coaster and so forth.
whether you were born with it or you've worked on it, you have a gift.
use it wisely.
PS: i havent added a story to my faves in a long time. take it as a big compliment XP
| caught in my own world chapter 1 . 10/2/2008
| Moon Shadow Magic chapter 1 . 10/1/2008
Impressive. If you do extend it I'd read it; but it does well as a vignette.
| Kerichi chapter 1 . 10/1/2008
I can't see Severus riding a roller coaster, ever, but I think "he vomited out whiskey and hope" is a brilliant description and the end was very poignant. :)
| Violin Ghost chapter 1 . 10/1/2008
That was absolutely brilliant. I loved your writing style, and I loved your description of the roller coaster ride.
| Bad Mum chapter 1 . 9/30/2008
This is just wonderful. I love the analogy with the roller coaster carried all the way through the story. The comparison of the two rites of passage was masterly, and the repetition of "earth bound" after the Potters' death. You;ve captured Snape's despair brilliantly. Adding this to the RL archive because it totally deserves more reviews.
| notanormalchild chapter 1 . 9/3/2008
Holy cow. Your writing style is AMAZING!
I loved this D write more one-shots!