|Reviews for Total Drama Team Fortress|
| Guest chapter 3 . 7/17/2015
I wish this story wasn't dead.
| beserkerbeast chapter 70 . 3/12/2014
crazy story and i loved it
love to see more
| The Codemeister chapter 1 . 2/2/2013
| Dragondan26 chapter 74 . 7/19/2011
this is a awesome story, I had an idea for the battle, the engineers could built a level 6 moving giant turret with smaller rocket pods and a turret which shoots flames, theOmego Turret
| Novanto chapter 1 . 5/21/2011
The prarie boy's name is spelled Ezekiel, not Ezekial.
| Bookeater chapter 74 . 9/12/2010
Since this group have been on hiatus for so long, will it disolve? If so, are you going to keep this story alive or even finish it? Are you making another acount for yourself so you can continue your work? We, your fans, would like to have some news if possible.
| Marisol Akyri chapter 74 . 7/21/2010
Normally I don't bother with action-heavy fics, but the spotlight you put Noah in alone made up for it. FINALLY a fanfic that has Noah goodness, and doesn't have him turn ooc with a horrid romance. You're finally putting him in his element, and giving him the credit he derserves. Excellent.
Two years is a long time for a story. I just hope I get to see the conclusion sometime soon.
(and ftr, Spies and Engies ftw)
| Bookeater chapter 74 . 6/22/2010
Ok. That chapter was funny and there is no major point to see this time, just some minor ones.
1. When the spy killed Courtney and she reponded in Merde in french was realy funny. Did you hope to escape censure by writhing it in another language? Nope, I biliguial and french is my first language. So just to be on the safe side, when you wright cussing in another language, make sure the rating for your story is appropriate. It does not apply here, but its just a reminder.
2. A bow? Is it a spetial feature in TF2? Never heared about it.
3. It was the comment Duncan made about figuring his gear all by himself was a realy well though comment. They all got MVP and most of them did not have to struggle with most of the new setting. So I think the way Duncan feel is particulary well put.
4. I pity Georgia. Nobody deserve to be hacked by Izzy, people or country ortherwise.
5. Your explanation on why they cant add more people to the team is belivable and a nice twist. It also explain why they add to put Chris in the game so hastily.
6. A gravitywell grenade. Wow. You dont fail to impress. And I also think they are awsome. And putting them in a spot only accessible to the astronaut was a nice touch too. He could camp them, but it would make Chris at the mercy of sniper and other astronaut.
7. The fact that you point that the RED and BLU team only have 22 player in total was a nice precision, but I think you said there was 22 for the two of them in a previous chapter. You may want to correct that. Or maybe you should have precised that the other team was the purple one.
8. Nice team play of Tyler and Lynsay ( and Zeke). They also need their hour of glory. The same with Owen and Eva team-up.
9. Noah is still calm as ever, but where is all the pent-up rage that Courtnay have? Do she keep bottle it up to let it out later?
10. For the grenade again. There wasn't any grenade spawn inbetween the first spawn and the capture point, should not every stage of the map have at least one spawn accessible for each team? Ok maybe having one or two segment of the map having the grenade accessible only to the astronaut was nice. It give the fic a videogame atmosphere.
11. The new spawn point is in the captured bunker but is there a joint room for that? Or just one room whit a ladder for the top hatch and two door? Can the back door still be in use and can the player walk around the bunkers or they have to go trough it to advence?
12. The capturing time seem fair. And the fact it became the new spawn room made sense because of the size of the maps
13. Ok, one bad point with this map segment. There is only one way on the other side of the river? I admit it seem to boost the difficulty of the chalenge but it hardly seem something for TF2. Normaly you always have two obvious way to get to the objective and a more secret one. Maybe the player can go on a maintenance path under the brige and since the bridge is see trough because of the metal-grate they can be spoted. Oh, and there could be a very well hidden path that go down the cliff and some rock to up on to cross over. Watch out for the flood.
14. The all pyro strategie (hylarious) and the heavy/2 ingeneer combot are cheap tactick... I like how the producer play. It fit his role perfectly, and I like how Courtney fuss over it.
15. For the van oppening. I can see how much the producer will make them have kitten with that. _ I am sure he will use it at the worst possible moment for our heros.
16. That all. See ya next time.
| link9753 chapter 71 . 6/21/2010
This story is really good.
| Bookeater chapter 74 . 6/20/2010
Ok, I will leave a more detailed review tomorow, but I just wanted to say this:
MAN, THAT CHAPTER WAS HILARIOUSLY AWSOME.
I will tell why I think so next time.
Oh! And, it's fun to see an author who can take critic and suggestion as well as you.
Keep up the good work!
| Bookeater chapter 73 . 6/15/2010
I forgot one last point to review. The Amplifier. Seem like a big cheat code to me. Cheap tactic indeed. But a great chalenge as well. But I think just for that lack of fair play, the producer seem prety evil to place this on the maps even whit out the evil voice. When I read that part, I could not help to think of what a cheater and a douchbag he his.
Congratulation. You made a vilain that I can appreciate more than Chris as a bad guy.
But I can already see how the player could deal with it when they discover what it do. But there are some point that need to be answered or to be discovered by team purple. Like what is the effect radius ? Can it be placed on the back of a soldier, heavy or astronaut like a dispencer? Can it be sapped by a spy? Can the mvp spy sapper that can make turret turn agains their maker would work on the Amplifier? Is it sturdy ? How much does it cost an engineer to make it? From what I understood, Noah and the others cant make it beacause it is somthing only availlable to the producer?
But I can see some tactical mistake made by the is an outside map, with defendable indiside bunker. He put the amplifier ont the top of a bunker at the view of everyone. Next a few motar round from Duncan and Leshana should be able to deal with that. Or maybe the sniper mvp spetial uranium depleted bullets. Trent did not use anyof those monster yet, or any of his electric bullet. And Courtney should still have a lot of those too no? she only use one of each so far. It is the last map no? There is no need to hold back.
And you should add some cover element on the terrain like dmall boulder, sand dune, mud hole, abandonned cars or tractor, etc. Because I doint think lines of sandbags would cut it on this maps. No?
Now I did not forget anything. See you next chapter.
| Bookeater chapter 73 . 6/14/2010
Short and sweet. That the only way I could describe this chapter. Now that I saw two or three of them I can say this: Your shorter chapter are better constructed and are easier to read, but they oddly leave us on our hunger. It's hard to see what is better. The small chocolate snack with low calories or the full 12 inch chocolate easter bunny that go directly to your hips? ARRRGH! Décision, décision.
Anyway, this chapter was ratter full dispite its length. The continuation of the astronaut manual was necessary but really well done. Weapon spec. Strength and weakness. The helmet vision impering is a nice idea too. All there. And the fact that the jet pack only give a jump boost and some overring his a nice touch and a nice limiter. But I must admit I was looking up to some arial dogfight. Maybe with a modification from an engineer. It should be possible whit the MVP boost.
The elective fonction is... nice,but... I dont know. I tink the astronaut class fit Chriss rather nicely (or maybe it's Chris who fit the class nicely. His ego fit the big helmet) and I dont see him in any other class now. And you have to think that any one who give up his class will have to give his class to Chriss. They spend all this time learning the rope and getting in character for their respective role and now they whant to change with a newbee? It dont look like a good tactical choice at this point in the game. Not with what is at stake. And even if this new place got some importace I cant see Justin wanting to have an helmet that will hide his face.
And Chris is surprisingly...good? Wow. I was especting some blunder for his part at the begging like the others in the first and second arc. Did he practice in secret before? Or he got talent at this?
And putting his acting skill in front is a good way to use Chris as a character. I wonder when his douchebag attitude will emerge thought. But he seem to have enough of teamwork aptitude to pull it off. Keep up the good work Chris.
Oh and dont forget about the wireless communication. With an eye in the sky its stupid to not use it.
And now let's talk tactic. I cant help but see some older tactic that you use before that could work here. Like 'The Moving Wall'. When you transform Owen into a walking tank or maybe just putting a dispencer on Eva back to liberate a medic for some other front. You need speed for this match but right now in this situation, to get to the point you need one of oldest red tactic: An unstopable pushing force to break to the wall.
And I just tought, in the previous map, why the soliders did not use their tranch digging shovel to get to level under? Since it can dig in almost anything would it not have been possible? Any way, it's a fonction you will be able to use in the next map.
Ok next. Is it me or we dont see much of Leshawna as of late? Her witty remark are alway fun to hear.
And what going to happen to Izzy? You got to put her back in the game (but dont pull Chris out when you do), they need her crazyness and murderous tendencies. But I must admit that pulling her out of the pod was an interesting twist.
An three other points: Cant the people at Valve do the paperwork in express fashion to clear of the legal matter that treathen everyone? It should be in their favor no? That way the other would be in their debt for, let's say... another game betatesting?
Second point. You should save the inter lost at sea. Or strand them on the Lost island. It would be just another plothole that (&(%?*%& show did not answer.
And third... And Chef? It's not TDI if we dont have a little bit of Chef in each chapter.
Keep up the good work. I watch evry sunday to see if there an update. There are TV shows I did not watch with this much regularity.
| Bookeater chapter 72 . 6/7/2010
Realy nice chapter. Realy nice in fact.
Even if its not as long as your usual chapters, it got everything it need. Action, suspence, setting the next chapter/map, showing a new class allready at MVP level then powering it down for the next bout was a nice idea. It was refressing in the way you present thing.
And the Astronaut class is a nice idea too. a useful class whit a limit of one per team was a nice limiter. It got nice over all defence (is it still totaly fire proof since it's not the hacked version whit Chris?), realy good mobility (what is the speed of the jetpack?) in outside maps, and not a too big arsenal. But does the lazer have big range? Not to much I hope, like the scater gun maybe? Some precision would be nice. I over all it made me think of The Rocketteer, and it would be nice new class for TF2. When you tink about it, whit the setting of the game it look like the natural evolution for a new class.
AND THE PLOT TWIST. It's so evil and a stroke of genius at the same time. Putting Chris in the game agains is will to help the team was hilarious and at the same time you could fill in a position for the new class. And as Noah said. Normaly having an addition player and the host too shoud be a bonus, but it is Chriss we are talking about. oh, there are so much you can do whit that.
I cant wait to see how he will fair in actual combat, or how much the TDI cast will make him suffer. Bwuahahahaha. (for a while only. There is so much ennemy this time that they will need every man to pull his wait, and the idea of looking bas for Chris shoul be a nice motivator.)
Three thing with the whole thinh tought. You absolutely need to make him use his class grenades. It is the only aspect you kept for yourself (nice touch by the way). I suggest a psychic-disruptor or something spacy. And talking about grenade, you never made of use the heavy class one, the mini nuke. Me and the other reader would like to see it in action.
And you need to make Chris taste his own medecin.
You already got the dam vane to flood the riverbed but the Director should be able to use them no? Make it his class spetial ability like the Astronaut can fly, the Evil Mastermind got a device that can modify the weather (with nine option, three for each category, attack, defence and nuissance, and a loading time like the building time for the ingeneer for each option. Oh! And an instant kill golden gun (I am a fan of the old James Bond game, sue me)
You should use some that you did not use already. Some that will make flying aroud harder if not deadly and still affect those on the groud. Like heavy wind that will turn in a tornado. Hail. Fog. Lightning. And meteor shower. And the big one like earthquake.
And the groud at the bed river should turn to mud one the dam valve oppen once.
And the third thing. Chris need to stay for the third map. There is so much you can do whit him that you cant do in one maps. Even a big one like that. And I realy want to see the blunder he will make with a jetpack inside a building.
The lost of Izzy is another plot twist that will complicate thing for our players. And a boost when she will come back (They have the whole Steam departement to help to do so.
If you check it all, those are the move of a pro author. Twisted and ingenious while totaly belivable. I was right to say that you have talent as one.
And to come back to the fact you want to warp up this story its fine. Like you said it was preparation for a better project and you could see that. You were testing the water so to speak. But you should not rush thing and finish thing nice and clean here first. Take your time, even if your chapter are shorter it they are enjoyable like this one it is fine.
Next, you put a nice description of the first two segment of the maps and not the others, which is nice because you did not crowd this chapter. A chapter or two for each capture point would be a nice pace and a lenghty description for the next bout in each new chapter should be the way to do thing.
But dont forget to add new description of the map as the player advence to build a stronger image of the place for the reader. You could make it in the player point of view for a little difference.
But there is one thing I did not understand. Is there a capture point in every bunker? Or mid-capture point? Did the first bout you discribed is only the first part of five? Or what?
In a way it is nice to be put this way in the player point of view because they dont know any of this and can make mistake if they think its like the first map.
And as a suggestion, you should make one of the capture point in middle of the map outside to up the difficulty a little more. It should be stressing if you dont know how much time you have before the van open. A sadistic wait if you will.
But now that I think about it, only the Astronauts will be safe from the flood if they can fly. Maybe they can drag someone whit them and that person can shood in its place angainst the other Astronauts. Hey, a heavy/astronaut combo seem nice. Or any other class. But dont drop them! Or crash! Bwuahahahaha. Double kill!
And if you bring in Chef for the last bout, you need a new class again. Like tank commander or some thing like that.
Well that should be it. Cant wait for the next chapter. And for your next project. Will it be TDI/LFD crossover? I hope so. There his so much suggestion I would like to give. If you let me. It's at your discretion.
| Bookeater chapter 71 . 5/23/2010
Ouf we got a chapter. Happy you could make it. I know final and last week of school are just plain evil. So keep it up.
It was a good call to end this segment of the map with this chapters. But there is only one thing: Keep notes.
You keep changing equipment of your guy (enemie/alie) all the time. Exemple: Scalpell gun is suppose to be a serygue gun. Theire are a lot of little thing like that trough the intire story that keep poping up and we reader stuble over them, it make reading difficult to follow because we have to gess what you are talking about.
So my advise for your type of story is to keep notes. Characters sheet to be presise. Nothing complicated. Just one page for each character whit every characteristic, equipment, etc, you gave them or take away.
It will be a reminder for you and will keep you from more mistake.
You are a good wrighter and one of the most entertaining in this style of story. And I dare say, a pillar in TDI crossover.
You keep your story dynamic, you got a good and large vocabulary and the edition of your chapter keep it clean and enjoyable to read. And a great sense of humour.
You develop the character well and they evolve in a belivable way within the bordary of the story/seting.
The two thing you need to be a 'great' writter is to reread your intire story from time to time and keep the modification steady as you made them. Constansy, that what your missing right now.
But great chapter, cant wait for the next one.
| Bookeater chapter 67 . 3/20/2010
All... RIGHT! Now it's interesting! I dont know what you did not like about this backup plan but, it's sound awsome. Now the player got an even better reason... to save their own ass. In a way. The thrill of a new maps and chalenges... oh and dont forget to put a little more description of your maps or if you have them, links for images of the maps. But dont make Noah so much Godlike whit is hacking in this new season. It feel like there would not be so much chalenge whit it. We like this fic because of the TF2 action and TDI silyness. And now both team together? Man now I pity the one that will face them. Or maybe you chould split the two team so they go in different maps trying to sandwich the objective(producer).
Man I cant wait for the next chapter.