|Reviews for X Gene 1: Fortune's Fools|
| TheBlackPages chapter 1 . 8/26/2011
I figured that since I liked the way your Nuada fiction is written I should check out more of your stories. So why not start with a fandom I'm familiar with? X-Men.
I like this first chapter. I'm too tired and swamped with work to leave a proper review, but I just wanted to let you know I love your style and your ideas. You do work a fair bit on these and I needed to show my appreciation for not contributing to the silliness on this site.
Keep on rocking, girl!
| Lord Dragon Claw chapter 3 . 9/18/2008
He needed to guarantee they were some of the people he was looking.
Enjoyable. I like Moonshine's attitude.
| Jade Wildcat chapter 1 . 9/11/2008
Hmm I'm very interested. Dis is very well writen. But if ya make it Romy or RoLo I'm gonna be abit dissapointed, but its your story haha.
I'm personaly hopein fo' a Remilee or remy and Eclipse. But what ever ya choose I'm sure it will be good. Well done keep it comin'
| Lord Dragon Claw chapter 2 . 9/9/2008
He swallowed and looked from her calm face to the man he'd heard called "Logan.
Missing the other quotation mark is all.
I do like your characterization of Gambit, and I do like the inclusion of Darkstalkers and Hellsing crossovers in this story.
Moonshine seems pretty cool.
| bluedragon1836 chapter 1 . 9/6/2008
| Randirogue chapter 1 . 9/6/2008
This is a fabulous start to a story. I love how you are depicting dualities about their personalities: Logan's healing factor not applying to a broken heart, Rogue and Gambit both being hurt by the other and not seeing that they just need to meet each other half way. I am very eager for more.
That said, I do have to point out one tiny little thing. Please do a little bit of research on locations, especially famous ones, before you use them in your story so succinctly. Madison Square Garden is not a 'garden.' It's a venue, specifically, a building. They host prize fighting matches inside it, concerts, conventions, etc. It's in the middle of a concrete jungle and nowhere near a garden or a park. I mean no offense by pointing this out. I only do so because it was significantly distracting from the story, which was very intriguing and thought provoking. A simple google search and google maps search would have revealed information and pictures of the location so that you could have avoided this dilemma. I suggest it not to criticize you, but to uplift you. Such things take away from your otherwise impressive writing. I want the goodness in this to shine more than the small hiccups.
So, keep an eye out about such easily magnified errors and do a tiny bit of research here and there, and then there will be little to distract me from your very interesting and intriguing and poignant writing.
I'll be looking for an update to come shortly!
| Lord Dragon Claw chapter 1 . 9/6/2008
"If things couldn't get any worse, they were wandering around, lost on the streets. They'd only come to Manhattan a couple weeks before. That wasn't enough time to become acquainted with the area. The only reason they'd even managed to escape was due to the fact that Moonshine had insisted they look for and provide escape routes and bolt holes for themselves, places to hide in case the mansion was ever attacked. Eclipse had been inclined to listen to the ten-year-old, but it had been one of those rare occassions when her lieutenants- Twilight, Heaven, and Daystar- had been willing to actually follow his advice. Unfortunately, their hiding places and hidden exits had been confined to the mansion grounds. They had no extra plans for when they managed to make it out of the place.
"Well... perhaps Moonshine had thought that far ahead. Her son had a habit of thinking of things she never would have. That was why she treated him as an equal and often went to him for advice, despite his young age. But that was the second worst thing about what was going on- the Celestials had become separated in the craziness. And the only person who'd really had the time and inclination- due to his habit of disappearing all the time when wanted for lessons- for exploring the surrounding city was Moonshine, and the boy wasn't here now. She had to wonder where he was. He was only a boy, far too young to be all by himself in the dark of the night, all alone on the streets, with no one to take care of him...
"Two of the children were missing- two, out of twelve. One of them, Sunbeam, was only a baby. He wouldn't have been part of the team, if he didn't just happen to be the physically mutated baby of two adult mutants. But Eclipse couldn't guarantee that Sunbeam was with his parents, where he'd be at least somewhat safe. She couldn't guarantee that Sunbeam was not with Moonshine, and having an infant with an eight-year-old was not exactly the most comforting idea right then. Hell, most of the members of the Celestials being all alone on the street while being hunted by Sentinels wasn't a comforting idea. There wasn't a one of them over the age of 25. They were just kids themselves, really."
So, what age is Moonshine? 10 or 8?
Really good so far!
| alchemist chapter 1 . 9/5/2008
I like it so far, good job! but I'm a little confused on the whole eclipse thing, and it seems a little dark or pessimistic. I hope you brighten the story up a little and go with the RoLo, Romy pairings too. But hey if not that's cool it still doesnt detract from your writing skills! Good Job and keep going! :)
| XoX-queen-bee-XoX chapter 1 . 9/5/2008
Wow, cool story!
I really like it, and it's really long too which is good LOL,
up date soon?