|Reviews for A Ninja's Dance|
| RunFromTheMedic chapter 30 . 4/1
How's Jay going to get away from the "cops"? I can't wait to find out what happens next.
| Treeni chapter 30 . 3/18
Awww it's so cute to see Mikey excited about his friend wanting to stay. Heartwarming and all that jazz.
Mikey's got a point though. It would have been loads safer to hook up one of the cams while all this heat is still on Jay. I can't believe they brought her just cause they were embarrassed and yet, I can totally see them doing it. *shakes head* boys.
*snickers* oh my gosh! Funny when conversations become inspiration huh? I bet Mikey's a Shenny fan.
lol it's almost disappointing that it belonged to a cat. I feel like a great opportunity for BDSM joke was missed. Then again, I have a leather 'cat' collar that I just like to wear in general... shush...they're cute...
Psh, not only is Splinter good at ignoring childishness, you just know deep down he's happy that Jay can be just as childish as his sons... in a good way.
Sara's spooky... *shiver* no surprise to me your story's been nominated.
Aw, motorbikes aren't so bad. I named my first one Norbert after the baby dragon in Harry Potter :)
Oh my gosh, you actually DID make a BDSM joke! lol I love you for this. I think Jay embarrassing the boys is one of my favorite things! Hehe Leo blushing like a 12 year old boy with getting his hand held for the first time. Adorable XD
*snort* No it's Becky... heh sorry Taylor Swift joke.
Ack! I can't believe you left it there! Noooo *pouts* Oh oh oh! Why didn't Raph call April and Casey though? Like with Casey's driving he woulda made it in no time flat w Maybe he did on his way back to his brothers?... I'm hoping at least... or that they'll make it back to her...
...I don't WANT Jay to be kidnapped okay? *whiny grumble*
I really hope you don't get mad at me for pointing out inaccuracies... Especially considering this is a story about ninja turtles heh... but um first Leo's a ninja. His sword shouldn't 'shink'. That's kinda a hollywood movie thing. In fact most weapons don't sound like that being drawn. The 'shink' sound was originally taken from the sound of a sword being sharpened rather than being drawn. It was supposed to sort of feel like a 'sharp' sound, but in truth if a sword made that kind of sound it would indicate there's a fault in its hilt. Katana's typically have a sort of soft wooden clunk sound when they're being drawn and smarter ninjas would actually make hilts lined with fur or other fabrics to stifler even that noise.
Second police sketches are highly unreliable unless she had some sort of signature trait like an obvious birthmark or something of the like. Even just a change of expression from a blank expression can make it hard to tell. Her photo being released would make more sense. It would be almost impossible to tell it was her in a sea of pedestrians from a police sketch under all the winter clothing unless Raph and her were spotted leaving and the dragons were specifically called to go after her.
Edit: especially because he'd ingeniously*
but she didn't argue, instead she* just watched
her cheeks and her knees. She* was so cold.
| Makokam chapter 30 . 3/16
Wow. Subtle. I mean, it's not like anybody would ever see a tatoo on /your fucking wrist/.
Ah well. Either things are going to really hit the fan right now, or Raph and company wil return just in time to save her.
So far she's doing pretty well though.
Hopefully she can keep up the passive resistence a little longer.
I was kind of expecting there to be a tracker in her wallet, but they wouldnt take everything from it if they wanted her to take it. They might have ruined her clothes to make her take a specific set of clothes. But none of that explains the Foot showing up right now.
Were the motion sensors in the apartment? Obviously someone had been there already and it wasnt the Turtles, so it's a possibility.
I liked Jay making dirty jokes around them. Despite this being a romance, I still wonder if this means she hasn't considered that they might have that kind of interest in her. Mikey obviously has recognized that she is a girl though. And boy does Donnie know. Raph...maybe not so much. Despite the squishy hugs.
Ya know, i never really gave much thought to this until just now, but how busty is Judith? I havent seen many really chesty dancers, so my guess is probably a B at best, but the description of her hugs being squishy makes me reconsider.
Anyway, you had a couple weird typos right around where they landed on the fire escape and Jay was thinking about how cold it was. Both were right at the end of their paragraphs.
And now I'm caught up! Hurray! Now i won't have this begging me to come back and read more of it!
Thanks for a great read.
| Guest chapter 30 . 3/16
And now I will be on the edge if my seat for however long it takes to get to the next chapter. I don't need this stress! DX
Thank you. This is amazingly written and had me laying in bed longer than I should have, just to read it. Face glued to my screen.
I'll will point out one thing. At the end of one of the paragraphs, right as she and Raph get to the apartment. What is "I hadlw"? That needs to be fixed.
| Makokam chapter 29 . 3/16
Well we certainly wouldn't have noticed.
That you wrote this while stoned.
On cold medicine.
This was a really cool chapter to be honest. I enjoyed it quite a bit. You obviously either did a lot of research for this chapter or are a student of...physiology.
Since watching the new cartoon I've had this idea that somewhere in there they are very gummy. Or at the very least don't have what we would consider a "rib cage" since they can pull all four limbs plus their head into their shells. And do so MUCH better than actual turtles.
I've also had the idea that their shells are more like hard leather. Still flexible, but still armor.
I also has the plate idea, but somewhat differnetly. I considered it more like... the plates were hard...and then there were soft skin/muscle/connective tissue that let it flex...
Anyway, this was really cool and I'm excited to know I caught up just after you updated.
I need to update my stories. :(
| Makokam chapter 28 . 3/15
Did you mean "definitely"? Because you wrote "defiantly". Both work, but I think you meant definitely.
It's odd how easily you triggered AdultFear with the first scene. As a single father myself, the "his son was coming to stay with him" line changed everything for me. Granted, my son lives with me five nighrs of the week, but still. I couldn't help but have this moment of "children first" when he was thinking about how he needed to get his apartment cleaned for his son while he was dying.
Everything else was great. I loved the idea that Splinter's eyesight isn't that great, but that works because the enhances to his other senses just make him an even better ninja.
And of course I loved the RaphxJay stuff as always. They really do seem to connect well. Perhaps it is because of her father...or maybe something about her just makes Raph let his walls down so she CAN connect with him.
I dunno. But I like it.
| Lurking Pheonix chapter 30 . 3/15
I like how you're taking your time with this fic. It gives a lot of time for bonding between Jay and the turtles. :D
| Makokam chapter 27 . 3/15
Yay! Jay can dance again! I bet she never would have thought that witnessing a murder, getting shot then chased into the sewers, and waking up in the care of mutant turtles would be the best thing to happen to her since the accident.
Now that I think about it, you never did explain why "that asshole" and Jay broke up. Was it because of the accident? I didn't think that was his fault, so maybe how he reacted to it? Cheated on her while she was laid up?
And for a second there I was afraid she was gonna kiss Donnie.
Also, you made the "instinctive vs reflexive" mistake again. Instintictive is...inherent knowledge of how to react to stimuli. Reflexive /learned/ reactions to stimuli. So, Don grabbing his weapon when startled? Reflexive.
If the Turtles...i dunno...buried themselves in mud to sleep through winter, THAT would be instinctive.
| nakcabttak2 chapter 30 . 3/15
Gosh! What a cliffhanger O_O I need another update... Like now. On another note I think it is absolutely adorable when Donnie blushes - if this story will be a Donnie shipping through the end I am totally for it!
| Makokam chapter 26 . 3/14
Youve got a nicce Noodle Incident going here.
As for the body, I remember you using "burnt" to describe the smell, but I didn't realize you meant BURNT burnt. Leo saying, flat out, that the guy had been burnt changed my entire perspective from thinking it was in fact some super virus or something that turned the victim's insides into liquid shit... To thinking it was Sarah.
And yeah, the "fragile" thing was cute. I can't wait to see what Don't has to show her.
I'll have to though. Its too damn late and I have my own fanfics I need to update in the morning.
| Decepticonsniper chapter 30 . 3/14
Long. Very long. Still, I liked the detail here and the plot
| Makokam chapter 25 . 3/14
They are mutants living in secret under New York, with more enemies than you can shake a katana at. Of course they did a background check on you, you goose.
As for the dead body...
Well, that escalated quickly.
| Makokam chapter 24 . 3/14
Whatever Hun is up to it's probably about as bad as anyone could expect.
I guess the real question is WHY. Why is he doing this? What is he hoping to gain? Until recently he and the turtles had been...ignoring each other. At least beyond random street encounters.
And I was really expecting Jay to hug April. Like, excitedly latch on to her because she missed her. And she could. Was NOT expecting her to be so shy.
I was also thinking April might be jealous at first. Like, "The guys never cooked me anything special" or whatever. I don't think I've ever seen a story where April felt like her place as their #1 Human was being challeneged.
| Makokam chapter 23 . 3/14
Yeah, definitely thinking demons.
And chapters with loads of conversation are infinitely more interesting than chapters with loads of descriptions.
| Makokam chapter 22 . 3/14
All the little RaphxJay moments make me smile.
I think you write Raph really well.
Except for the fact that said don't have blades. They have points and can stab, but they don't slice.
I didn't want to mention it because I figured somebody had to have by now but... eh.
Anyway, I loved the reference to the new cartoon. Was Jay calling it a tPhone a slip or intentional though?
It was weird suddenly seeing them, so I was wondering if you'd just started watching it?